Extending Grace - A powerful message

What a powerful message delivered today by the mother of one of the victims. I watched in amazement as she faced the man that she at one time respected and admired, and looked to for spiritual leadership – the same man that has been responsible for the pain, violation and destruction within her family and specifically to her daughter.

You would think that her message to him would be of anger and possibly asking “how could you?” Instead, she showed a true testimony to the world of what we are taught Biblically to do, to love our enemies and those that persecute us. I am blessed just to have been there to see this exchange, to see grace and mercy extended in the midst of much pain. Here are some of her words:

She began her message with one simple truth; the Bible tells us that If we are to confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. However she pointed out one of the most overlooked points of that verse – IF – She proceeded to remind Darrell Gilyard that confessing sins, admitting failure, is exactly what prisoners of pride refuse to do.

And then Phil. 3:14 states “I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me.” She reads this to him and then asks, “Is this what God called you to do as you reached for the goal? God began a good work in you and I am sure He will complete it until it is finished according to Philippians 1:6”

At this point in the courtroom, it was silent, everyone was listening. I looked at Judge Weatherby and he was leaning forward a bit with his chin resting on his hand, listening. Hank Coxe had to have felt uncomfortable, he kept glancing over at her and then to Darrell. Darrell was still, head down, hands clasped behind his back. A surreal moment as this former parishioner is preaching to her former Pastor.

She goes on to tell him that “God uses Satan to fortify His church, even when Satan appears to win, ‘Darrell’, he loses.” And that “Confession does not create a relationship with God, it nourishes it.” She tells him that though he did not lose his position with God, he has lost his peace with God.

Isn’t that so true? God never stops loving us, but we feel a loss because we are separated due to our lack of repentance of sin.

Darrell was certainly an incredible speaker and knew God’s word, how odd and uncomfortable it had to be for him to hear this. She reminds him that he, as the Shepard abused her daughter inside of the Shepard’s office. Among other things she also reminds him that lives have been destroyed and that he will have to give an account for this.

Her final message is so amazing it is God talking through a wounded person right in the midst of tragedy…she says “Just know God loves us and wants the best for us. I will pray for you as always that at some point you get right with God. You are forgiven by me. I have no malice in my heart as we all have sinned and woe is the man or woman that does not confess and turn from their wicked ways.”

Hallelujah! Praise be to Jesus! To Him is all of the glory and honor and praise! Ministering to the man that hurt her daughter, the same man that was supposed to minister to her.

A dear friend called me tonight to pray with me, she was also abused at the hands of a minister as a young girl. We have talked and shared our stories before and one thing we are both aware of and thankful for is our stories. We have shared before that our stories have made us who we are today. They are testimonies of God’s power, His love, His grace and His mercy. He has taught us so much about forgiveness and trust, though by worldly standards we should be bitter, unforgiving and unable to trust. It is the contrary; God has allowed great strength, trust and healing to come from tragedy and heartache.
On this note, as we were talking she shared this thought with me and it touched me deeply and I feel is so appropriate to end on. I said in an interview today that it is time to lay down the label of “victim” and replace it with “overcomer”, I want you to know that you do not have to let his crimes against you define who you are, but it can define Who God is.
My sweet friend shared that out of the dark places in our lives, He will help us to sift through and “mine” through the rubble and discover riches that we wouldn’t have otherwise. No matter how devastating the storm, the aftermath can look so bleak and you are tempted to carry around this “victim” armor, lay it down and dig for the treasures that God will bring from it. They are there, waiting to be discovered.

You are no longer silenced

To all of the women in Texas that were told you didn't have enough witnesses;

To all the girls across the U.S. that were abused by Gilyard;

To the women and girls that didn't come forward here in Jacksonville and especially for the brave ones that did;

THIS WAS YOUR DAY - You have been heard!

Everyone is listening, your story is being validated. You are no longer silenced!

It was a powerful day in the courtroom! I am in awe at the strength and message delivered by the mother of one of the victims. It was such a powerful, bold, stern but loving message.
Darrell Gilyard had to stand there at the podium and listen first to the Judge read out his crimes and the penalties, then hear the mother of a victim describe the pain to her family and all of the lives his sin has touched.

But, how sad it was to sit there and watch a man with such gifts, such potential, hang his head as he received the sentence for crimes that he hoped no one would ever know of. The same crimes he has intimidated people from reporting, the ones he has tried to convince others did not happen, the ones he himself has adamantly denied - until now.

Sin is so powerful and once it takes root, it does not let go. If you allow it authority in your life, you eventually lose yourself to it, you become ill, sick in sin. As the mother pointed out today, God always plans a way of escape, she asked him why he did not take it. I honestly think he had gotten away with it all for so long, he was no longer afraid of getting caught. By statements made to many, he didn't seem to be afraid of even the Almighty God - what a scary place to be. I look at his face in the above picture and I do not gloat, I do not feel anger, I feel absolute pity. I hope that he finds in his heart some remorse, from what I am being told that hasn't appeared to be the case yet, but I hope it comes.


http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/crime/2009-05-21/story/former_jacksonville_pastor_guilty_in_sex_case

http://www.news4jax.com/news/19526773/detail.html

http://http//www.actionnewsjax.com/content/actionbreaking/story/Pastor-pleads-guilty-to-molestation-charges/9ZmIQFkDeUOkaiQcGC8lhA.cspx

Plea Deal Has Been made

• 
  
  Darrell L. Gilyard will face some earthly consequences this time. It is official, a plea agreement has been reached and signed.
  
• The deal is 3 years incarceration and then 3 years probation.
  He will be listed as a sexual predator, so this label will follow him

There were several plea agreements offered over the last weeks, all for a lighter sentence, of course, and they were rejected by the SA. This one insures that he will go to a State facility vs. county jail.

• From what I am told, he plead guilty to the charges against him and did not deny any of them.


• I also asked if he will have forced counseling - I am told that he will have a psychological evaluation upon entering and then be forced to maintain counseling thereafter.

The sentencing will take place on Thursday this week. He is being told to expect a packed courtroom and a media circus.

Thank you ALL for following this story and for ALL of the tips, leads, stories/testimonies, names, addresses, phone numbers, prayers and vigilance that have been put into this through the blog. Your pursuit of justice and cries for help have made a difference! I am so thankful and so proud of many of you brave warriors. Some of you may not have found the courage to tell your story or give a tip - but you can rejoice now in the fact that it will be just a little bit harder for him to violate the next person, and you can now begin the journey needed to heal.

• To the many victims - those listed in the criminal charges and those that are suffering in silence. This is just one step, keep walking. Justice does not heal the wounds, but sometimes it can make it hurt just a little less. But you need help dealing with the pain and allowing yourself to fully heal and trust again. Please reach out.


• To those of you that have believed in his innocence, I pray for you now as you realize all of the ways you may have helped him continue in this destructive course. I pray that you will admit your fault and ask the Father (and anyone else involved) for forgiveness and mercy.


• To the church members (in Palatka) that have recently welcomed him into your congregation, as you are shocked and possibly angry that he was allowed access to your loved ones, I pray as you consider your leadership and how things are dealt with from this moment on. If you feel your daughters or wives were exposed to him during his time at your church, get help! Do not remain silent and in shame. That is where the devil uses his sin to destroy. Shame is a form of bondage and can destroy you. Reach out for help.

I want everyone to know, before the nasty comments come in, I am NOT rejoicing or laughing about the downfall of this man - this is not a laughing matter for me, it is VERY sad and disgusting. Though I feel he deserves this punishment/consequence it has come at a high price for many others. I have pursued this because he has YET to have any mercy or shame for his actions - he was still in the mindset to keep going. If a sentence would not have come, I am confident that there would be more victims. Over the next 30 months (more or less) while he is behind bars, there will be safety from this one predator.

Darrell L. Gilyard, if you are reading this, please know that I am strong because what you meant for evil against me, God meant for good. He has been my rock and my fortress, whom shall I fear? When I lie down and sleep, I will meditate on HIM in the nightwatch - and praise Him for all the good He has done!! To God be the glory!

Victims/survivors, won't you join me in praises to the King of Kings? He alone is worthy to be praised!

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

This verse has been running through my mind all day today, so I am sharing it here. It must have a purpose. Things can get out of hand so quickly, and we all need to be reminded of God's word vs. our own nature. Myself included, believe me!

Please read the rest of Micah 6: 9-16 and then chapter 7 as well.

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression...You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. You will be true to Jacob and show mercy to Abraham, as you pledged an oath to our fathers in days long ago." (7:18-20)

Obviously in the rest of the scriptures it talks of some of the consequences of sin. So, this does not mean we have to overlook sin, God does want it dealt with, but there are requirements in how that is handled by us. To act JUSTLY (do what's right) and to love mercy (extend grace and pray for changes within the heart, which leads to repentance) and finally to walk humbly with our God (letting Him lead; doing nothing that would shame Him or that you wouldn't do if you were physically in His presence). A great and timely lesson.

Woman settles lawsuit against Jacksonville pastor, church

A woman who claimed Jacksonville pastor Darrell Gilyard sexually assaulted and impregnated her has settled her lawsuit against him and Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church.But her paternity case against Gilyard, which he is challenging, continues. He has never been charged with assaulting the woman. An unrelated felony case that accuses
Gilyard, 47, of three lewd and lascivious acts with a teenager is scheduled for trial next month.Court documents show the civil lawsuit was settled in mediation last week. Terms are confidential.Kesha Emerson initially accused Gilyard of using a 2004 counseling session after her husband died to convince her she needed to have sex with him to hasten her healing.
Her lawsuit accused Shiloh of negligence in hiring, supervising and retaining Gilyard as pastor.Emerson amended the complaint last month to say that when she rejected Gilyard’s advances he pushed her to the floor and sexually assaulted her. When she later discovered she was pregnant, she said Gilyard persuaded her that only by continuing to have sex with him would she receive support, the amended lawsuit says.Emerson’s attorney, Barry Bobek, said at the time he hadn’t fully interviewed his client before filing the first lawsuit. He declined comment Wednesday; lawyers for the church and Gilyard didn’t return phone calls.Emerson’s paternity suit seeks child support, medical and life insurance from Gilyard for a 3-year-old girl. Gilyard filed a response denying a sexual relationship with Emerson.Gilyard was arrested last year after the mother of a teenage parishioner told police she found obscene text messages from him on her daughter’s cell phone. His criminal trial is scheduled May 26. Gilyard, a Palatka native, rose to prominence in his 20s, pastoring one of the nation’s 10 fastest-growing churches. He left that church, Victory Baptist in Texas, amid accusations of sexual impropriety and came to Shiloh in 1993.The West Beaver Street church quietly settled a 1996 sexual misconduct claim involving Gilyard for $300,000.

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/2009-04-29/story/woman_settles_lawsuit_against_jacksonville_pastor_church

A call to awareness today by SNAP

There was a news conference held today by David Cohessey of the SNAP organization. I was invited to attend and take part. Channel 4 news covered the story. http://www.news4jax.com/news/19314837/detail.html#video

I did not know what to expect as I was just notified yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the depth of compassion that David has for victims. Just before the conference, he explained his usual process and what to expect. He was very easy to talk to and put my mind at ease immediately. David travels all over the country working with those abused by Pastors/clergy and I can't help but to think how sad that this provides a full time job. We would like to think that this is very isolated and uncommon, but the reality is that it has become a serious problem.

David is concerned not so much with justice, as he has learned that this rarely happens here on earth, but that there is some added prevention through awareness. He is also very heart broken over every life touched by this type of abuse, he was once a victim himself. He fully understands the entire painful process and can identify with every story, as different as they may be. He became teary eyed over and over again as we discussed things following the interview. Not to say that he is in any way weak for this emotion, I believe it shows so much humanity and Christ likeness to be compassionate about others. We only know of some of the stories and only if they become public, but David along with Christa Brown (among others) carry this burden in their souls, as they face hundreds (maybe more) of these victims each year.

One thing that rings true - there are many, many more victims (of Darrell and others) that are still trapped in their own bondage of secrecy. There are so many different individual reasons for this secrecy, but the common theme is pain and fear. This fear can be crippling and the pain overwhelming. Even if these efforts do not result in some consequence for Darrell, we have still created awareness, we may have kept one person from being victimized and we may have helped someone break the bondage of silence which ultimately leads to healing.

Let's applaud SNAP's efforts and their personal sacrifices while raising awareness and pursuing safety for all of us within churches. And I applaud many of you that have participated in helping to strengthen this case by bringing forth information that will ultimately make it tougher for Darrell to victimize again. Thank you.