A sermon that I heard over the week end seems appropriate to this situation.
The story of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego- in short, they faced a King who did not allow them to worship the one true God. They decided to follow and worship God anyway and face whatever consequences may come. Eventually they were thrown into the fire, to be burned alive. They did not pray for God to keep this from happening, or even to deliver them from it, they praised God and accepted their circumstance.Through their faith and obviously God totally protecting them in the fire, the King acknowledged that their God must be the one true God and allowed them and all in the city to worship Him.
Many times, we may wonder why God allows the fire, or trial or circumstance. Why does He not just put an end to it with His power? Such as in this case with Gilyard, why has he been allowed to continue to hurt. We may not know what God is doing or what the outcome may be. But we are called to worship and praise Him even in the midst of the fire. Through this worship, He is allowed to really work and inhabit the praise of His people.
Just a reminder to all of us not to forget who is truly in charge and whose name will be glorified even in the midst of this trial. No matter how long it may take.
Isaiah 58:6 "...to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke."
Monday, March 3, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Watch This Video
This is the video from CBS47 News of Don Simpkins from Texas. People are beginning to talk. People from his past are stepping up to the plate to help us and I am so thankful for their bravery. Mr. Simpkins paid a high price for alerting people back in the 90's, and he is more than willing to do it again for the purpose of protecting women and girls in Gilyards future. He knows the depths of this man's corruption, he heard every nasty detail. He knows he is not going to stop. He knows this is what God would have him do and God will protect him!!
Thank you Mr. Simpkins and all of those standing behind you! Thank you for all of your help!
Click on the link below, the video will self load.
Gilyard's former Counselor Don Simkins of Texas breaks the silence
Thank you Mr. Simpkins and all of those standing behind you! Thank you for all of your help!
Click on the link below, the video will self load.
Gilyard's former Counselor Don Simkins of Texas breaks the silence
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Today's Court Update
Today in court, they requested a pre-trial conference for March 19th.
There were a couple of brave people there today that spoke with the news media. In their own words, they were shocked, sick and-dis heartened to hear the allegations against their Pastor. They came to seek out the truth for themselves.
It takes bravery to search for truth when it would be easier to step back and not face it. It took courage to share their opinions with the media as well.
This is what I wish for all people of Shiloh and any other church, search for the truth. You do need to know who your leadership is and ask the Holy Spirit for discernment in who you receive counsel from.
All churches need true men of charachter and Godliness. Sadly, we do need to know about their previous history and not just blindly follow. If many of you had known of Darrell's past problems, would you have chosen him as the leadership of your church? I know many of you would not have allowed your daugthters and wives to counsel alone with him had you been warned, some of you have told me this. I would have never been in the position I was in with him as a young person had I known of his previous issues. I blindly looked up to him and assumed he was the man of God I thought him to be. I was gravely let down.
That is why we are so shocked when we hear of these things, we have looked to this man for spiritual food and guidance, we trusted him, we prayed for him, we stood with him. Man can deceive, man can fall, but the Word of God still stands true. The Holy Spirit can guide us in discernment and also can give us uneasy feelings or warning signs, it is up to us to obey. I had warning signs and the Holy Spirit did stir some things, I pushed them aside and believed it was impossible for this leader to have less than Godly intentions towards me. That is why the scriptures teach us to keep our eyes on the Lord, not on man. He gives us guidelines for Godliness and charachter of our leaders, if they fall short of these things, we need to pray for them and we also need to take a step back and really pay attention.
I am not asking for you to believe me or any hear say, but please do open your minds and hearts to the Holy Spirit asking Him to lead you to truth.
There were a couple of brave people there today that spoke with the news media. In their own words, they were shocked, sick and-dis heartened to hear the allegations against their Pastor. They came to seek out the truth for themselves.
It takes bravery to search for truth when it would be easier to step back and not face it. It took courage to share their opinions with the media as well.
This is what I wish for all people of Shiloh and any other church, search for the truth. You do need to know who your leadership is and ask the Holy Spirit for discernment in who you receive counsel from.
All churches need true men of charachter and Godliness. Sadly, we do need to know about their previous history and not just blindly follow. If many of you had known of Darrell's past problems, would you have chosen him as the leadership of your church? I know many of you would not have allowed your daugthters and wives to counsel alone with him had you been warned, some of you have told me this. I would have never been in the position I was in with him as a young person had I known of his previous issues. I blindly looked up to him and assumed he was the man of God I thought him to be. I was gravely let down.
That is why we are so shocked when we hear of these things, we have looked to this man for spiritual food and guidance, we trusted him, we prayed for him, we stood with him. Man can deceive, man can fall, but the Word of God still stands true. The Holy Spirit can guide us in discernment and also can give us uneasy feelings or warning signs, it is up to us to obey. I had warning signs and the Holy Spirit did stir some things, I pushed them aside and believed it was impossible for this leader to have less than Godly intentions towards me. That is why the scriptures teach us to keep our eyes on the Lord, not on man. He gives us guidelines for Godliness and charachter of our leaders, if they fall short of these things, we need to pray for them and we also need to take a step back and really pay attention.
I am not asking for you to believe me or any hear say, but please do open your minds and hearts to the Holy Spirit asking Him to lead you to truth.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
General Comments
Upon reader requests, I am creating this spot for general comments and questions. A place that will remain at the top for those of you wishing to leave comments in a fresh place sure to be viewed.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
A Meeting For the Victims/Survivors
I would like to extend an invitation to any of you (the victims) to come together and meet each other. There will be total privacy, total safety, and only victims will be present. We will keep the time, date and location private. I will explain more to you directly when you contact me via email.
The purpose will obviously be to have an outlet, a safe one, among people who have walked in your shoes. Only victims of this can truly understand the feelings you have, can relate to you, can cry with you, can encourage you, and finally can strengthen you. We can minister to each other and pray together and for divine restoration. The Lord surely wants us all to heal, and help each other constructively. He has great things for each of us.
All ages of girls or women affected by this man are welcome. Even if you are an adult woman who found yourself in a relationship with him and feel great shame, that was his plan. He hoped you would remain ashamed. Don’t let that keep you away. For those of you who are minors, your parents are welcome to be there with you. Obviously the parents of minors are victims as well as they place their innocent children in the hands of a trusted leader. However, I would like this to remain for victims only (for privacy reasons and to allow openness). Any concerns or questions you may have I will be glad to answer. Any suggestions as well.
My goal with this blog and with speaking out has always been two sided: One side is to put an end to this man’s abuse of women and girls, or atleast his ability to prey within the church from a position of power. Then, secondly to help any of his victims to find healing and put the shame behind them. To create a supportive network of survivors that can help each other heal and find strength to move beyond this.
Mainly, I would like to know how many of you are interested. Please send me an email and we will see where we go from there. Again, your information will be completely confidential. I will not use your name or email in any way even between other victims.
Can we make this happen?? Do you think it is something you would like to do??
The purpose will obviously be to have an outlet, a safe one, among people who have walked in your shoes. Only victims of this can truly understand the feelings you have, can relate to you, can cry with you, can encourage you, and finally can strengthen you. We can minister to each other and pray together and for divine restoration. The Lord surely wants us all to heal, and help each other constructively. He has great things for each of us.
All ages of girls or women affected by this man are welcome. Even if you are an adult woman who found yourself in a relationship with him and feel great shame, that was his plan. He hoped you would remain ashamed. Don’t let that keep you away. For those of you who are minors, your parents are welcome to be there with you. Obviously the parents of minors are victims as well as they place their innocent children in the hands of a trusted leader. However, I would like this to remain for victims only (for privacy reasons and to allow openness). Any concerns or questions you may have I will be glad to answer. Any suggestions as well.
My goal with this blog and with speaking out has always been two sided: One side is to put an end to this man’s abuse of women and girls, or atleast his ability to prey within the church from a position of power. Then, secondly to help any of his victims to find healing and put the shame behind them. To create a supportive network of survivors that can help each other heal and find strength to move beyond this.
Mainly, I would like to know how many of you are interested. Please send me an email and we will see where we go from there. Again, your information will be completely confidential. I will not use your name or email in any way even between other victims.
Can we make this happen?? Do you think it is something you would like to do??
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
How does CSA happen?
This has been written by a very courageous woman who is an abuse survivor. She and her husband are working to not only inform people of this vast problem but also give a ray of hope to those attempting to heal from an abuse situation by a trusted Pastor. As a victim, you are sure to see yourself mirrored in the words below, I hope it helps to break the chains of shame and fear surrounding you. For those of you who may be family members of an abused person, or just someone interested in all of this, I hope that you find understanding and gain more compassion for those who suffer at the hands of a trusted spiritual leader.
You can write to the author and also read more at the blog link below:
http://www.sharonsrose.org/
How does CSA happen?
Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA) happens when a member of the clergy abuses his power and authority to prey upon a congregant to harm the congregant for self-gratification. In most cases, the victim is a child or an adult woman. There is usually more than one victim. Sex is used as a weapon in this act of violence. Regardless of the degree of physical violence, CSA is always a violent act.
CSA can involve a sudden sexual assault on an unsuspecting victim, but in most cases, CSA doesn’t happen “over night.” Usually, CSA happens over a long period of time “under the noses” of most or all in the congregation.
What does CSA look like?
Every case of CSA is different. However, there are similarities to many cases.
Child CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several psych categories: (1) Underlying severe psychiatric disorder; (2) Sociopathic/severe narcissistic per-sonality disorders; (3) Sexual impulse disorders; (4) Chronic neurotic and Isolated; (5) Situational offenders; and (6) Naive.1 The victim is a child or teenager under the age of 18. The victim is vulnerable simply because he or she is a child.
Adult CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several categories as stated above. The victim is an adult (usually a woman), age 18 or older. The victim is not responsible for the sexual acts with the per-petrator. The victim is not an adulteress. It is not an affair. The victim is vulnerable for many reasons, including just being present in the congregation.
Most CSA cases go through phases. Each phase can last days, weeks, months, or even years.
_________
1Gary Richard Schoener. “Not As a Stranger: Evaluating Offenders.” Safe Church Advanced Training for Episcopalians: Lake Morey Resort, VT. Feb. 11, 2003. pp. 9,10.
What are the Phases of CSA?
While the particulars are different in each case, perpetrators usually go through two main phases in committing the act of clergy sexual abuse. After the act is committed, there are yet three more phases in store for the victim.
1. GROOMING PHASE 2. PHYSICAL PHASE
3. DISCOVERY PHASE 4. TELLING PHASE
5. RECOVERY PHASE
Phase 1: THE GROOMING PHASE
Part One, Grooming Phase:
The Perpetrator establishes and develops a relationship with the Victim.
Part Two, Grooming Phase:
The Perpetrator establishes and develops nonphysical Trust, Intimacy, and
Secrecy with the Victim.
Phase 2: THE PHYSICAL PHASE
Part One, Physical Phase:
The Perpetrator “innocently” touches the Victim in ways that seem appropriate (i.e., hugs, pats on shoulder, etc.). Trust, Intimacy and Secrecy are intensified. The Perpetrator is waiting for the right moment to attack.
The Victim has no idea the relationship
will become sexual.
Part Two, Physical Phase:
The Perpetrator sexually touches the Victim in ways that are NOT appropriate. The Victim is brainwashed to believe it is “okay.” The Victim experiences shock and trauma. Secrecy is maintained. This is the part of CSA that is
criminal sexual assault.
Phase 3: THE DISCOVERY PHASE
The Victim realizes the relationship with the Perpetrator is really sexual abuse, and may or may not find the courage to tell someone. The Victim may or may not seek counseling in this phase. The Victim may feel relief or other emotions as he/she finally understands.
Phase 4: THE TELLING PHASE
The Authorities (usually church leaders, e.g., elders, bishops) are informed of the abuse. The Authorities should seek to address the issue, and hold the Perpetrator accountable for his actions. Many churches/denominations have a procedure for handling CSA cases. If handled properly, there will be a stronger outcome for a more rapid recovery of the Victim, as well as the church community. If Authorities collude, healing for the church is obstructed. If the Victim is not believed, blamed, or no longer welcomed, the Victim will experience further shock and trauma.
Phase 5: THE RECOVERY PHASE
Part One, Recovery Phase:
The Victim will experience depression and will need professional help for what happened. As the Victim begins the process of healing, the Victim will need support from family, the church and the community.
The Victim is a “Survivor.”
Part Two, Recovery Phase:
The Survivor gets healing for the wounds, regains wholeness, and is able to “move on” after CSA. The Survivor becomes a “Thriver.”
Copyright © 2007 sharonsrose.org
You can write to the author and also read more at the blog link below:
http://www.sharonsrose.org/
How does CSA happen?
Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA) happens when a member of the clergy abuses his power and authority to prey upon a congregant to harm the congregant for self-gratification. In most cases, the victim is a child or an adult woman. There is usually more than one victim. Sex is used as a weapon in this act of violence. Regardless of the degree of physical violence, CSA is always a violent act.
CSA can involve a sudden sexual assault on an unsuspecting victim, but in most cases, CSA doesn’t happen “over night.” Usually, CSA happens over a long period of time “under the noses” of most or all in the congregation.
What does CSA look like?
Every case of CSA is different. However, there are similarities to many cases.
Child CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several psych categories: (1) Underlying severe psychiatric disorder; (2) Sociopathic/severe narcissistic per-sonality disorders; (3) Sexual impulse disorders; (4) Chronic neurotic and Isolated; (5) Situational offenders; and (6) Naive.1 The victim is a child or teenager under the age of 18. The victim is vulnerable simply because he or she is a child.
Adult CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several categories as stated above. The victim is an adult (usually a woman), age 18 or older. The victim is not responsible for the sexual acts with the per-petrator. The victim is not an adulteress. It is not an affair. The victim is vulnerable for many reasons, including just being present in the congregation.
Most CSA cases go through phases. Each phase can last days, weeks, months, or even years.
_________
1Gary Richard Schoener. “Not As a Stranger: Evaluating Offenders.” Safe Church Advanced Training for Episcopalians: Lake Morey Resort, VT. Feb. 11, 2003. pp. 9,10.
What are the Phases of CSA?
While the particulars are different in each case, perpetrators usually go through two main phases in committing the act of clergy sexual abuse. After the act is committed, there are yet three more phases in store for the victim.
1. GROOMING PHASE 2. PHYSICAL PHASE
3. DISCOVERY PHASE 4. TELLING PHASE
5. RECOVERY PHASE
Phase 1: THE GROOMING PHASE
Part One, Grooming Phase:
The Perpetrator establishes and develops a relationship with the Victim.
Part Two, Grooming Phase:
The Perpetrator establishes and develops nonphysical Trust, Intimacy, and
Secrecy with the Victim.
Phase 2: THE PHYSICAL PHASE
Part One, Physical Phase:
The Perpetrator “innocently” touches the Victim in ways that seem appropriate (i.e., hugs, pats on shoulder, etc.). Trust, Intimacy and Secrecy are intensified. The Perpetrator is waiting for the right moment to attack.
The Victim has no idea the relationship
will become sexual.
Part Two, Physical Phase:
The Perpetrator sexually touches the Victim in ways that are NOT appropriate. The Victim is brainwashed to believe it is “okay.” The Victim experiences shock and trauma. Secrecy is maintained. This is the part of CSA that is
criminal sexual assault.
Phase 3: THE DISCOVERY PHASE
The Victim realizes the relationship with the Perpetrator is really sexual abuse, and may or may not find the courage to tell someone. The Victim may or may not seek counseling in this phase. The Victim may feel relief or other emotions as he/she finally understands.
Phase 4: THE TELLING PHASE
The Authorities (usually church leaders, e.g., elders, bishops) are informed of the abuse. The Authorities should seek to address the issue, and hold the Perpetrator accountable for his actions. Many churches/denominations have a procedure for handling CSA cases. If handled properly, there will be a stronger outcome for a more rapid recovery of the Victim, as well as the church community. If Authorities collude, healing for the church is obstructed. If the Victim is not believed, blamed, or no longer welcomed, the Victim will experience further shock and trauma.
Phase 5: THE RECOVERY PHASE
Part One, Recovery Phase:
The Victim will experience depression and will need professional help for what happened. As the Victim begins the process of healing, the Victim will need support from family, the church and the community.
The Victim is a “Survivor.”
Part Two, Recovery Phase:
The Survivor gets healing for the wounds, regains wholeness, and is able to “move on” after CSA. The Survivor becomes a “Thriver.”
Copyright © 2007 sharonsrose.org
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