Anonymous said...
I am a deacon at Shiloh and I want to repent and confess. I am not the head deacon, so there was only so much I could do. We knew what DG was doing with the grown women. What surprised us was the children. The trouble at first was DG knew what some of the deacons were doing, so we couldn't talk. If DG had talked about what some of the leaders were doing, it could have destroyed some of their marriages. So we left him alone. Nobody ever thought it would come to this. He was bringing in the bacon. We left him alone. I would have been ostracized had I said anything. I am truly sorry to all the women who can't even acknowledge that they were victims. I am sorry for being silent when I should have spoken. I never thought so many people would get hurt.
July 22, 2008 9:20 AM
82 comments:
Anonymous said...
Praise God that the truth is coming forth.
There is at least one righteous leader at Shiloh. Thank you for your honesty. Now there is a place to begin a real discussion about what happened, and what needs to be done to help the women (and children) who were victimized.
July 22, 2008 11:04 AM
Anonymous said...
It took a lot of courage for this deacon to take the chance of confessing through this blog. He needs to be commended for that.
His confession could be the saving grace here. Are there other deacons at Shiloh who can substantiate that the deacons knew of many victims?
(And thank you, deacon, for agreeing that the women, as well as the underage teens are "victims" and not "adulteresses." Victims do not commit adultery. The husbands of the victims need to understand that.)
When a pastor does unthinkable things in a church, and persuades the church leaders through fear, intimidation or even blackmail, to go along with what he's doing, the pastor perpetrator places everyone under his lie. It's a big ugly umbrella that blocks out the light.
When a church leader, like this deacon, comes forward to tell the truth, he steps out from under that lie umbrella into the light.
The sin/evil is the dastardly work of an evil man who wants to suck any and all he can into his evil. No one believes the deacon board wanted this evil in their church. But as long as the deacons are afraid to tell the truth, they remain under the lie umbrella. The way to get out from under it is to simply and openly tell the truth.
That's a truth that's difficult for the victims--which is why many are reluctant to come forward; they have much to lose. But the church leaders really have little to lose when they tell the truth.
And now, DG is gone. What's holding you back from telling the truth?
July 22, 2008 6:29 PM
Anonymous said...
It is so amazing to me how such a little man could exert so much influence and control over other people. I can't believe some of those husbands, who found out he was messing with their wives, didn't just give him a good ole'fashioned beat down! it may have made him think twice the next time, but he senses weakness in others very well and knows who he can pull that junk on. It would not have bothered me one way or another if he didn't talk to me, fine! But i can understand those whose livelyhoods and families depended on those jobs, it couldn't have been an easy decision.
Don't think none of the others haven't come forward. They may not have done it on this forum or publicly but they have given their depositions to the SA.
July 22, 2008 7:53 PM
Anonymous said...
Deacon,
Thank you SO much for coming forward! I and many others have prayed for repentance from the leadership, and this is a BIG deal for me and others to hear. Since you are anonymous, can you please shed some light for me as to what is currently going on with the leadership, in your opinion? By this I mean, have you sensed that God is working on other hearts also, especially the Deacons that were there when all of this was going on?
I thank God that you came forward and I believe that if you allow Him, God can use you to make a difference in all of this. Believe it or not, you are being used, even now!
I and others will be praying for you, that God will give you the strength and courage to continue to do the right thing.
Sincerely,
Ms. J
July 22, 2008 8:30 PM
Anonymous said...
To the deacon who apologized and confessed, I want you to know that I dearly appreciate your post. Also anon 7/21 11:09pm thank you for yours. Both your comments brought clarity as I suspected the truth was hard to pull out. And by history, Gilyard is all too familiar with the game. It truly must be one for him. This time I hope the game card says, "GO TO JAIL"
July 22, 2008 8:52 PM
Thank you "Deacon" for finally breaking the silence. I am glad that you had the courage to speak out. Hopefully others will follow your lead!
If this was a truly repentant deacon then he would have signed his name. Anyone can say he's a Shiloh Deacon and make these claims. It is disappointing to see this on the front page of this blog without substantiation.
I thought this blog was here to get and keep DG out of the pulpit and prevent him from continuing his wicked ways. However, it has become something other than that and as such has lost a lot of its effectiveness and credibility. I'm out! Don't bother to respond as I won't be reading it.
To Anonymous Deacon:
Would you be willing to share your story with Julie Schlax? She can be reached at 630-2502. You will not be required to testify, just give your story as you did on the blog. You or anyone else do not have to share your name in this blog.
I am reminded of what Pastor Elect HB Charles Jr. said during one of his visits. "There is only one God so we can stop applying for the position." I am also inclined to agree with his comment regarding Vengence is Gods. So we need to be vigiliant in our efforts to identify the remaining Officiers who were aware of these activities and encourage them to step down, not out of vengence but because they are not to be trusted.
As for Gilyard he did have much power because it was given to him by the Church and he was protected by Members of our Security Ministry who no doubt now wonder if he was worthy. Let us rejoice that we have a new Pastor now. One of ethics and a Godly spirit our thoughts and actions should now be turned to assisting him and his family in getting settled and if there are concerns they should be brought to the attention of the leadership and if you feel they can not be trusted then to the newly elected Pastor. I am sure he is not unaware of what happened.
If you want to get even then follow Pastor Charles's advice and do it God's way.
I too have been in shock and have attended Shiloh only once since the Resignation. At this point I am torn I feel disappointed and deeply hurt. I also feel somewhat naive I am a journalist and saw the symptoms. Difficulty looking people in the eye, placing blame for mistakes on others , in fact at one point I offered to do a piece on the church and was told by Gilyard that Shiloh kept a low profile but noticed every time he had an opportunity to promote himself he did.
On the other hand it is time to move on and I have carefully watched the various Ministers who have honored us with their presentations through our excellent media ministry, and will be there to Vote. My church is too important to this community to allow it to become detached and isolated. I think there are still some who share the responsibility for what occurred who are in positions of authority and until the membership has the courage to insist on an investigation there will continue to be questions. The engine of any church is it leadership Trustees, Deacons, it's members and most importantly God. Replacing the Pastor will help but that is like placing a new paint job on the car. We need to get to the bottom of this and clear the air once and for all. We have taken the first step and the honorable thing would be for those who allowed this to happen on their watch to step down so that people of courage and concern for all of the Church can take those positions. Many are excited about the election and that's a good thing but we need to be just as excited about removing the remaining parties as well. Let us pray together that God will give our new Pastor the strength to listen to those who are many that don't feel this is finished and make our surroundings pure again so that the Spirit can truly dwell there again.
July 29, 2008 7:54 PM
I hope that if what this Deacon says is true, that others would also feel the need to "clear the air" so to speak. This isn't a blog about whose at fault, it isn't here to point fingers or to gossip. I created it in hopes to draw out people to stand against him - to testify and give your account of what happened so that the law can step in.
Without these testimonies, or left up to the "church" authorities, he would have just continued or possibly have walked away only to appear somewhere else as he has in the past. As we have all witnessed, he is even now at another church. The power to continue to do this evil needs to be stopped.
Obviously this blog has offended some, that is not the intent. This is for awareness and accountability and also information. Those of you who have come forward with information and names - thank you.
Again, it takes a lot of courage to come forward. But it will be worth it if you help to save one more victim. Many families have been destroyed by the deception of this man. People are left hurting and may face years of problems as a result of being used by him, both willingly and innocently. This is the goal - to stop this wrong!
He cannot have power if we do not let him. Just like the enemy, in Jesus name he has no power - we can pray against it, we can denounce it, we can make it flee. But if we do not stand against it, then we allow it. Very simply put.
Personally, I am so sad, even burdened, knowing the stories I have been told by many of you - I am so saddened at the amount of damage he has done to so many families. Not only through victimizing, but also just letting people down when they find out the truth about their pastor. But more than anything, think about how sad our Father must be. Many of you probably think I must not have anything better to do with my time - well, actually I have tons more to do. But, we have to see this through and hopefully it will make a difference in the end.I wish we could make all of the hurt just go away and him as well.
To all of you who are still remaining silent - though I understand your need to just not get involved - it will not go away. That nagging feeling that you should help, that you should tell your story - please act on it. Not on this blog, but privately with the State Attorney's office Julie Shlax 630-2502.
One more testimony, even knowledge of another person's problem - especially the young people or those forcibly abused. There was mentally challenged woman from Texas that he took advantage of for quite some time years ago while pastoring - that is horrible. It was told to the church authorities then and nothing was done. I have been told of one family from Shiloh who was vicitmized, the father of the family does not want his family to testify, I am sure there are more. We need all of the stories and testimonies together to make a difference. Unfortunately, one or two is not enough. That is sad, but true. As you have already seen, with all that we already know, he is still preaching at a church and people do not believe.
Help us stop this. Your testimony could make a difference.
No disrespect, however I get tired of people saying vengeance is the Lord's and we should not seek vengeance. Breaking the law and giving information about the crime is not seeking revenge. When investigators seek to find evident of a crime is that seeking revenge? No! Seeking revenge is going to DG's house and throwing bricks at his car or house. Beating him down if seen in the streets, etc.
When he came onto me once over a period of weeks, I did enjoy it as I was not getting that type of talk at home so I can see why so many fell for his charisma. I too knew he was married but enjoyed it none the less. I stopped the contact which was all on email. He moved on and stopped contacting me. We would spend hours emailing. At one time DG & I did instant messaging and then all of a sudden he cancelled or changed his IM. He said he was getting too many chat requests. So we spoke late nights on the phone. My spouse was out of town during this short-lived communication. So I can imagine what these young girls must have felt, a powerful man such as he to pay attention to them? Wow!
Although I never took him up on his offer to come to his office for a kiss, he was always complimenting me. He often emailed me after church stating how good I looked that day.
If you are reading DG, you know who I am.
He often gave me unsolicited advice about my marriage but he did the same with my spouse. Maybe this is the game he played with a lot of the deacon's wives.
Years ago I asked God to forgive me for enjoying the compliments and now my prayer is for God to show DG' his heart that he may repent or forever go down the road of self-destruction.
Anon 3:52 - The "game" you've described so eloquently has a name: "The Grooming Phase." He was hoping you would take his bait. You are very fortunate indeed that you didn't meet him for that kiss.
You experienced the first stage of clergy sexual abuse. None of it was your fault, no matter how it made you feel. I hope you've figured that out.
Please consider speaking to the SA about your experience. Even though nothing happened, your testimony may confirm his "M.O." for the prosecution, and help those two young teens.
As Shiloh prepares to recieve her new pastor, Rev. H.B. Charles, Jr. There is a few interesting facts that have been observed.
First, both he and DG pretty much look a like! They are both short, dark complexioned men. There preaching styles are similiar with the exception that H.B. is a "Down Home" "Whooper!"
Hopefully, their character is not alike. Take care, and let's pray earnestly for Shiloh in these challenging days ahead.
Anon 3:52 pm. I doubt he knows who you are, he does that to countless women at the same time! Many have been asked and many have seen the inside of that office!
I just worry for his wife! Does she have any idea how many times her husband has done this and with how many women? I'm sure he has trained her to be a very submissive wife, but she needs to get her head out of the clouds and get out of there!
Anon 10:48 PM
Yes she knows, including her parents. They were not totally thrilled about the idea of them getting marriage, however you know how we are when young and trying to be grown on our own, nobody knew him like she did, yada, yada...
I'm sure he has her in a trans and she is not aware of what's really happening, but when she snaps out of it! Good Lord!!! He ex-wife said enough for me but I guess when you are hooked, you're hooked.
To Anon 8-5, 10:36 - Who are you to make such a statement!
I find your statement to be false. Kay has been nothing but open and honest, wanting to find answers. She is a righteous woman, which is more than I can say about some of Shiloh's leaders. I have greatly appreciated her contributions to this blog.
I will continue to delete any comments attacking readers on this blog. The only evil here is the sin itself!
Please do not be discouraged by attacks on this blog, the person attacking could be Darrell himself, or some of his followers. Do not let the intimidate you or silence you! Please be encouraged that God knows your heart and will be your defender.
To the anonymous testimony - thank you so much for sharing your story. It is a duplicate of so many I have heard unfortunately. But it shows that he had a pattern and when all these stories come together and you see all of the similarities, you realize just how sick he really is. This is not "just an affair" (not belittling the wrongness of an affair) but it is not a one time event, but an on going hunt for him.
I am thankful that you did not meet with him, and please know that many other women and young girls found themselves caught up in his flattery. He knows this as well and it is his tool to seduce. He knows a lot of women/girls are not getting attention and plays on that. He also gives marriage counsel (usually to his advantage) and this is a tool also, usually he asks for the woman to come meet with him "for counsel". Then many women find themselves either being seduced or attacked. Both are wrong and this is why he must be stopped.
Please share your stories with the S.A. you do not have to be known to the public!!!!
Wow, did anyone see the news tonight. News reporter has 800 pages of evidence against DG. How can he beat what came from his cell phone company?
Thank you Deacon, finally what Moses told me years ago has came to the light. I saw the News tonight and to finally heard that the child he got pregnant in the early 90's and paid off is out in the open.
I heard the News mentioning Deacon(s) said or wrote. I just say Praised the Lord.
Also, mention how Dywane (Goldie) was put into a church and was his body guard too (covering up DG dirt).
Who was the woman he was with just after he got married. She was very light skinned, Long hair and mini skirt in a black car?
Any way, 800 pages of informations. Very good news. Let's stay focus.
Thanks Deacon, Thanks!!!!!!
disable from sexual abuse - dfsa
Deacon,
You really spoke up!
Thank you. May God bless you, your heart and family.
Thanks! (smiling)
I am so happy til I cannot sleep.
dfsa
I was a member of Shiloh for years. I felt so blessed to have a Pastor like Gilyard, who taught the Word in a way that you could understand. When I found out that he was sleeping with half the women in the church, I was so devastated. I tried to ignore it but it was always present. What really made me decide to leave was the adulterous relationship of the Chairman of the Trustee Board and one of the members of the Decision Counseling Ministry. The relationship was so open that while his wife was sitting in the Choir he and this woman were acting if they were husband and wife. This was gut renching to me. The further I got into the church and found that it was so led by the ones in power by the hands of Gilyard, I could not bear it. I was a Sunday School Teacher and on every other ministry that was possible. Shiloh has so many great and faithful people that I will always consider it my home. What Darrell Gilyard did to the Church is what Carnal,Flesh lead Pastors do. They are Poor, then become Popular, then Prideful and then they become Pitiful. He was so reduced today on TV.
God will aways bring you down when you are out of his will. I cringe when I think about him and The Gilyard Gang. How many of the children did he target? Let's not mention the Singles classes.
I will stop at this point with this thought in mind, how did an entire church let this man try to destroy it and say nothing?
August 5, 2008 11:18 PM
Anonymous August 5, 2008 11:18 PM
Are you Ann? The one who was suppose to marry DG and the ex of Moses. Who DG had the deacons to help separate you two. He was not allowed to be near you, if DG was around.
I must tell you Moses truly loved you and was very hurted.
You know more than you are saying. Will you please speak out more!!!!
dfsa
Anonymous August 5, 2008 11:18 PM
Are YOU? The one he was going to marry and just before you to wed, he went and marry his wife now. It was around the time of the kid having a baby and being paid off.
I heard that FBC had something to do with the marriage now.
I do not know this news first hand, but my friend (God Bless) was so broken up about Ann. He tried so hard to play it off.
dfsa
Please help! For whatever reason(s).
Do not let another person get hurt again.
Thank you in advance!
dfsa
As a reason Gilyard gave for turning off the lights, the 15-year-old girl told police he said, "You can't see God, but you can trust Him," This is an excerpt from the Florida Times Union newspaper report dated for Wed.Aug.6,2008.This alledged quote if true is unbelievable and blasphemous!The Dallas newspaper also recorded a similar blasphemous statement where Darrell said "Thank God!Thank me God didn"t do I did"
I truly believe those statement Rod, he is very arrogant. Just aweful!!!
Dsfa google The Florida Times Union newspaper and go to the metro section,the report is there.
This blog has truly turned into a gossip-stirring, mud-slinging forum. Please do not post comments you can't substantiate!!
Anon August 5, 2008 11:18 PM Point of clarification: It should be pointed out that it was the FORMER Chairman of the Trustee Board. In fact, none of the church officials who were in office during the period of time you are referring to (almost 3 years ago) are in office now.
August 8 8:58 am -
Are you Darrell? Afraid of the truth coming to light??? You can't convince everyone to cover up for you anymore??
No I'm not Darrell. However, I do believe that it is wrong to post hurtful comments about people without any proof of them being true...and I'm not referring to Gilyard. I am referring to the other comments posted here.
I was not gossiping.
I saw him with a woman some years ago that was not his wife on Atlantic Blvd at the Sound Department.
Moses Cobb was my friend and for years I had to listen to him go on and on. And he wondered why anther female could not take him serious.
Dwayne (Goldie) I know for sure he got a church. I know for sure how he got into trouble with the law from the USPS stealing and in the church (which Moses told me, DG set up for him), but I know personally about he too stole for that church too. His Dad was an official in Florida back then I knew (have not kept up with them).
So, when I hear the Deacon speaking out, then it now more than ever validate What Moses had told me over and over back in the early 1990's.
You call it what you want. Find ANN. I wish Moses was round, I am sure he's smiling.
I am focus. I know the stalks well. I do not want to hurt any one but you know the truth. If you can help these people who have been hurt by DG and those that helping, I would greatly appreciate it.
Please do not let anyone else get hurt. Please.
I can say he arrogant because I have heard the way he spoke to members at function.
I know the prize as well as the cost. That is why, I kept stating let's stay focus.
I never got Ann last name (shiloh knews her). All I knew, my friend spoke over and over about DG and Ann. He told me, he felt FBC had something to do with the wife he has now .
This Blog is not just to gossip (but gossip is not always lies). This is about getting to the truth and stopping a predator.
It's about:
let's stop pastor darrell gilyard together
What I have said, I have said from the beginning.
Talking to Moses was true. Seeing his pain was true. Personally seeing DG at the sound place and getting into a black car with a fair skinned and long haired, mini skirt wearing female is true.
Knowledge of USPS (early 90') and Church (mid 90's) with Dwayne is also true.
The part about FBC from what I have been reading about the involvement with DG, that may be true too. It was Moses feeling back then.
People need to stop covering for this predator and stop him now.
I am already damage, so you can not hurt me more than my predator has.
The US post office (USPS) was on canal st. The church on the northside.
Trying yo help here!!
I realize that I might get some negative response from this but as I begin to write I am being led what to write..... before I post any comments here I ask God to help me choose my words carefully.
I have read so much of this and my heart goes out to the women who was entrapped by Pastor Gilyard, however The enemy has used DG to tear at the heart of God's children and he is not in control. Didn't satan tell Jesus after he had fast, he showed him the world (paraphrase)and said if he serve him he would give him all he saw from the pinnacle he was on. For the price of all the luxury, cars money and sitting on a pinnacle he gave his life to satan just to be in charge, but the word of God tell us that his soul will be required from god, a man whom God was using as a servant has misguided the people of God and caused them to stray away from him, this he is responsible for and the blood is on his hand; and God's word never changes he changes the pattern of his will for each of us but his will remains the same. What is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul. For all that he has done and continuing to do even today he must give an account. what I can't understand is how can other pastors allow for him to sit on their roster and know he hasn't been cleared of any thing reported to the media nor police. we are all on the outside looking in but the truth of the matter is there are hundreds of women and young girls who have been victimize by this man who used God word to make them feel that it was ok to do what he did. we have become such a perverted society that we accept anything, we don't protect our daughters, and we certainly don't give them the hugs they need to keep them from looking to a man to find security. we as parents need to develop such a relationship with our daughters that they will trust us enough to tell us what is going on with them. We need to make sure they are safe from the enemy. I am so disturb by what I have read and it has grieved my spirit so. to all the women who are victims and can't bring yourself to talk about it know today that there is deliverance for you, I only ask that you not allow what has happen to you to go to your grave. You have nothing to be ashamed about, its time for your healing. I guess I want to see justice done but DG has a spirit that no one Jesus can cleanse. to all the Deacons who knew of the activity that occured at the church and you never open your mouth for fear of being revealed yourself God knows who you are so if you allowed this to happen to someone elses daughter, mother, sister, neices, "What really happens if its your 12-14 year old daughter, what if its your friend the deacon that sits on the same board as you is it ok, would you allow it to go on as if you didn't know or would you want to turn him in. It like this if you see a duck, he walks like a duck, he quack like a duck, he wobble like a duck then he's a duck, so it is with Sin. when we see sin, it walks , talk, dress and cunning Its sin. DG has done so much to hurt innocent people even his wife and children are affected by his action and no person deserve to be hurt in this manner. I am praying the will of God be done in this matter, and its just around the corner.
GRIFFIN MARLON DEWAYNE (Goldie) is his correct name
As I read these comments, I feel that I am not on planet earth! I hear all of you who, were abused by DG. I hear what you guys are saying as it relates to being vulnerable, weak, and the like. I get all of that.
However, that being said, I have to go on the record and say that many of these women wanted a piece of DG plain and simple! Think about it, many of the members, especially the women, had heard and in some cases even witnessed DG's ungodly ways, and saw him in action.
Why did any of them still feel the need to go to him for "counseling?" What was that really all about? Can somebody on this blog be man or woman enough to say that many of the women who, slept with DG, did so because that is what they wanted to do?
Can anybody admit that perhaps curiosity got the best of "some" of the women and that it had nothing to do with their being weak, their being neglected by their husbands, etc. It was there own lust! Can anybody feel me?
One last thing: This sitution at Shiloh is a prime example that being large doesn't neccessarily mean that God is in it! From what you guys have shared, clearly, God wasn't running things; it was human flesh and human ingenuity. The Holy Spirit was not dynamic in the life of the church.
I hope Shiloh learn from this, and make a decision to become a genuine "House of Prayer" and a "House of Worship".
Blessings to All!
Let me tell you something, DG could never do anything for me. I do not want even 1 cm of that trash/abuser. I never found any attraction to this so called piece of a man. My dog look better and has more to offer(on the serious note).
Keep talking though, it shows how sick minded people like you think.
I hope the world see how predators, really think and make a stand!!!
Anon 5:45 pm:
I am a woman and I will agree with you on some points you made. SOME of the many women Dg has slept with did wnat to be with him voluntarily out of their own curiosity/lust. Not everyone was abused by this man, that's why many of them won't come forward. I'm sorry, I know how to get rid of a man I don't want or like, most women do. And well before you get to his office, you pretty much already know what the intent is because he makes it clear from the jump. I hate to say it and I'm ready for the backlash, many of the adult women he was with are upset that they got used. Some of them probably thought they were going to be the first lady or move Tenise out of her spot, and when that didn't happen they were upset and /or scorned. On top of that, they had nothing to show for it!
However, there is ABSOLUTELY NO excuse for his behavior with these young girls. Regardless of the circumstances, legally, they are not of the age to consent to such activities.
Curiosity or not, age of consent or not, what makes it clergy sexual abuse is the fact that DG was a member of the clergy. There is clearly a difference of power between a member of the clergy and a member of the laity. For DG to take advantage of any woman or child in his congregation is abuse.
If women were coming on to him, it was HIS DUTY to stop them, and send them away. That's the duty of any man of God.
Sorry if this ruins the fantasy of some that women are lustful after pastors (and perhaps some are), but in most of the cases I am aware of, this is not so. And even if there was a wanton woman involved, she is still not to blame for what happened. There is NO excuse for a pastor to do what DG did--to the women and to the two teenage girls.
Sharon Rose
I am thankful that all this info is coming to the light. The news tonight was startling to hear and see (text messages pieces). I just read the TU article that was referenced. I sincerely feel sorry for him. He needs help, he cannot prevent himself from doing these things that's obvious. The law needs to help him and should not fail him. Jail/prison is a terrible place to be but there is no other place for some people to be. He can't stay out here destroying and burdening other peoples' lives. He has had so many chances to no avail. What can you be thinking 1st Timothy? I am so sorry for all the people he has hurt including spouses and families who still hurt. May God give you comfort, restore peace and bring you healing in space of time. My heart goes out to you.
Anon August 5 11:54am, Thank you for your comments. I did not see the comment that was deleted.
Rod August 6 1:23am, I agree with you, those were insidious remarks and very confusing and confounding to that young girl. If true, it's almost like he was comparing what he was doing and himself to God.
God had nothing! to do with that stuff he was doing. I hope he has not scarred that child for life. God forbid.
Kay
I believe we have all acknowledged that there are some women who had unpure motives and pursued Darrell. From some of the stories I have been told, there was quite a "following" of some women that knew of his affairs. Whatever reason they decided to pursue him is a totally seperate matter.
Also, from what I have been told, this happened after he gained quite the reputation for being flirtatious with attractive new members - he would pursue them. I am not excusing these women's behavior, but do you not agree that the (married) Pastor should hold a very high standard? Women flirt with Pastors and men in authority all over the world - this is totally wrong, but it happens - this is not an open door for that man to go ahead and sin.
I believe there are some circumstances that are completely seperate from the real problem here. Darrell didn't usually pursue the ones who were flagrantly open to his advances, he left them hanging in his trail. His game is to pursue the ones who did not see it coming - the ones who were really in church for the right reasons, who were serving and also those in need of Godly counsel from their Pastor.
I have been told several stories of women who were teachers or leaders - Darrell would compliment their service to the Lord/the church, it would seem innocent, then another compliment, then another, before you know it he would ask them to come by his office for a "little kiss". They usually told him what the Bible says, or basically "are you kidding me" - he then decides what to do based on the response. Do you think that is appropriate or that these women wanted this? No, they didn't see it coming. Some other women would go for counseling - available at any church you attend but note, most respectable pastors never counsel alone for both protection of false claims and accountability for themselves. When you go for counsel, you should recieve Godly wisdom, help and support. Darrell used this as a way to find the woman's weaknesses and needs and use this as a way to make her feel close to him and then vulnerable. Many times he made the problems with their spouses out to be much larger than they were, convincing them that they were getting a raw deal and deserved so much more - and hey, he is right there available to "help them out". He preys on women and girls. He does not wait for them to come fall at his feet, he goes after them. That is a predator, and that is a problem.
How about this young girl, her parents took her to the Pastor to submit to his leadership for help. They hoped he could help them. Instead, he begins to groom her and find out what she needs to hear, then complimenting etc... before you know it, she is in a dark room with a man that represents God to her and she is stripped of innocence. She did not go there looking for this, she may not have even wanted to go in the first place, but her parents wanted to help her - how do you think they feel now? Do you know that when a child is molested it creates insecurities and confusion? Problems that may follow her the rest of her life? She has now been taught by a leader (a Pastor of all things) that it is o.k to talk dirty to him on the phone, to be unfaithful to your spouse, to do things that were once not even yet known by her. THIS IS SO WRONG! This young girl should not have any of these thoughts in her head and yet they were put there by her Pastor.
And there were many more young girls with this SAME story - they do not want to be known, they wish it would all just go away, or their parents won't allow them to talk, or they were bought by Darrell. This is what he hopes for, he won that round.
This man has mastered this. He has had years of practice. The women that fell prey to this were victims. Not all were completely innocent (based on intent) but that does not in any way excuse his role, his pursuit, or his victimization.
He needs to be stopped - we all need to tell our stories and come together as a strong opposing force. Do not be ashamed, do not hide, do not carry this with you any longer. Lay down the burden and the shame - let God break the chains of bondage and set you free.
For the fathers not allowing their daughters to talk, for the husbands wanting their wives to remain silent, to the leaders who are still keeping secrets - you are hindering the healing. Remaining silent only creates a larger void and more pain. Satan uses it against you to keep you in shame and knowing you hold a dark secret. He wants you to remain in shame and therefore weak, so does Darrell - in fact, he is counting on it!
Kay, would you please contact me through email?
thefamilycircus8@gmail.com
I put Dewayne last name first, it's
MARLON DEWAYNE GRIFFIN(Goldie) is his correct name.
Sorry, some of the comments is an insult to victims of DG because, he is in a position of power and is a clergy.
He is not GOD and GOD will not be mocked.
Remember, I told you once before, there will be something said and you will know the outcome.
Predators are good at what they do. They are good manipulators. In either case, he should be held at a higher standard and stayed in GOD word.
This Blog is about the victims and not about any that wanted this creep. I know I mentioned Ann, but I am sure she knows some things. Since Moses (which was a victim (God bless him)) can not speak for himself about the treatment he received, maybe she could shed some light.
Sorry Tiff, I did not mean to get negative (August 6, 2008 5:58 PM), my dogs are more loyal and honorable. I have tried to stay focus.
I tried writing you yesterday but I lost the new email.
Anyone who put down Kay, should not be allowed to post. She has been nothing but straight up in her feelings and observations. I have greatly appreciated her contributions to this blog too.
To everyone who says that DG should have known better, I must say that I agree with all of you!
However, what I struggle with is the situation with women who knew of his ungodly activities and STILL made the appointment! I'm talking about the woman who even saw, witness, and observed for herself, what kind of man DG was/is and yet she STILL made the appointment!
I totally get that there are wounded and hurting women and children that need the love and compassion and care of a spiritual counselor. Again, I totally get that.
Somebody talk to me about the women who made the appointments even after the afore-mentioned things were a known reality.
August 7, 2008 2:12 PM
1st Timothy, Can you explain why a place of worship, that a congregation would still attend (since DG is preaching)?
Now these people really knows, it's all in the news!
Anon 2:12 pm,
I think the bigger question is why would a woman marry and stay married to a man like this?
Only reason I can think of is what people always say, "God hates divorce." I probably would have separated from him until he dealt with these issues.
Maybe its for financial security. She probably knows he may do some time and she will be home alone and have access to the funds while he's making friends in jail.
God does hate divorce, but he did give a reason divorce would be allowed and that was for sexual immorality and I do believe this would fall in that category.
You are probably correct about the money. She may feel that after all the hell she has been thru and all that she has put up with over the years, that she is entitled to it and isn't going anywhere.
But, she better be careful! DG is very shrewd and has total control he very well could be positioning it so that she won't get anything if he goes to jail. She did sign a pre-nup and he's nasty like that!
Personally, if found guilty, I hope a jury awards his portion of his assets (not his wife's) to the children, for their education, therapy etc. before throwing him in jail! Of course, I believe there should be stipulations that these girls must graduate from High School and College, get sound financial counseling and be 25 years old before everything is handed over to them. Prior to that, the funds should be handled by a trustee.
Just my opinion. :)
Ms. J
That's good Ms. J! Very good!
Yes, Ms. J, I likey. I wonder if the prosecutor could be given that suggestion.
Anon August 8, 2008 10:56 PM
You said she did sign a prenup?
You people are messy and delusional!!
Someone got mad at you giving that information.
It was news!
Probably was Gilyard who got mad.
Not sure why he would ask his wife for a pre-nup! A so called man of the cloth.
Confess and repent and you shall be saved!
DG you've always been arrogant.
All the times you called me the N word, and I told you it was not nice, but you continued because no one tells you what to do or say. Right?
Anon 8/11 @2:59pm,
We are messy and delusional! Nooooo, DG is messy and delusional!
I guess when the truth comes out about his outside children(mind you he didn't make any with his wife)that will ne messy too, I guess. That may be the next thing to hit the fan
HIs outside children are already old news. Nothing to come out that hasn't already.
I'm saddened by all of this and people's willingness to turn a blind eye to this or try to justify DG's behavior.
He should not be an ANYONE's pulpit. He stated that God told him to preach and that is why he is preaching. He's demonic and must be taken down!
Hank Cox, please be careful that you do not get bit by his fangs of charm.
I beg to differ Anon 7:12pm. many people have no clue about his outside children. Tenise has no clue; she knows he cheats but she doesn't know that!
I beg to differ Anon 7:12pm. many people have no clue about his outside children. Tenise has no clue; she knows he cheats but she doesn't know that!
I have also heard about the children outside of his marriage, from many, many sources. It seems many people within the church leadership helped to cover all of that up as well. They did not cover it completely though because many knew.
God Bless the families that are raising these children and did not choose to abort them!! Thank you Lord their precious lives were spared and that people are doing what is right by raising them - no thanks to Darrell. Many of these were paid off to go away and keep quiet. He should be held accountable for this to. For those of you who are still silent due to being paid off (afraid because you signed an agreement for your silence) this agreement can be lifted and is not legally binding. You can still talk to the State Attorney and not be held to that agreement. Especially those of you who were under age! Please speak out!
I beg to differ that she knows but that's not my beef right now. DG hired Hank because he's political and knows most judges. The judge that is being used in pre-trial, Weatherby is known as "Softie". Hank can get him to do whatever. If I were the parents of the two teens I would not accept a plea. Let it go to trial and let the jury decide, not a deal put together by Hank Coxe.
Anon 8/7, 2:12 said, "However, what I struggle with is the situation with women who knew of his ungodly activities and STILL made the appointment!...
Somebody talk to me about the women who made the appointments even after the afore-mentioned things were a known reality."
That's a fair question. And the answer lies in the way sexual predators operate. Before any woman makes an appointment for counseling with a sex offender, he has already "groomed" her. It is a process of brainwashing whereby the victim is convinced beyond any doubt that he is trustworthy. He is smoother than any used car salesman.
On another blogpost on this site, Don Simpkins said of DG, "Gilyard is the smoothest talking person I have ever met. He could charm a bird out of a tree. These women were seduced by a professional predator."
Charming the bird out of the tree is the Grooming Phase of sexual abuse.
And that is how these women, even if they heard of DG's previous exploits, allowed themselves to be duped by him.
The Grooming Phase is only the first phase of sexual abuse. There is a brochure which outlines the phases of clergy sexual abuse. You can get a free copy at this link:
http://sharonsrose.org/contactus.html
Just ask for the brochure on the phases of csa. I'll be happy to email you a copy.
Sharon Rose
Did you leave? True repentance should cause you to not have fellowship with those who participated in the deception. If you refuse to leave because being a deacon gives you status, you haven't repented you just feel guilty and hope that others will make you feel better about yourself. I don't believe in stroking egos. Jesus didn't, he called a viper a viper. And those who will chastise this, look at yourselves first. Saying you're sorry is not repentance. This is like a bunch of kids cheating on a test and no one told that the head kid was giving the answers because then they would be exposed so they all kept silent, while those who were innocent paid the price for the cheaters.
AS A FORMER MEMBER OF SHILOH AND OF THE CHRISTIAN FAITH I CAN SAY THAT GILYARDS ACTIONS REALLY COMES AS NO SHOCK TO ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH FOR OVER 10 YEARS. GILYARD IS ONE OF ONLY MANY CHURCH OFFICALS THAT HAS PARTICIPATED IN "UNHOLY ACTIONS" WHICH IS A TESTEMENT TO THE FAUTH ALL TO GATHER. THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN CONNECTED TO THIS INCIDENT ARE ALL VICTIMS, BUT JUST AS THESE MEN OF POWER AND KNOWLEGE CAN MANIPULATE WOMEN INTO SEXUAL ACTIVITY THEY ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO PULL THIS COVER OF RELIGION OVER THE MINDS OF MILLIONS. STOP AND ASK YOURSELF DO YOU THINK THAT GILYARD IS THE ONLY PASTOR OR CHURCH OFFICAL TO ABUSE HIS POWER AND ASK DO YOU THINK THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME? PASTORS,FATHERS,BISHOPS,AND DEACONS OVER THE WORLD DAILY ARE ACCUSED OF THE SAME TYPE THINGS BUT THESE HEADLINES GOES UNNOTICE BY THE PEOPLE OF THE FAITH UNTIL IT HITS HOME. I AM SEEING ON SOME OF THE COMMENTS FROM DEACONS THAT THEY HAVE BEEN AWEAR OF THE TYPE OF ACTIONS FOR SOME TIME NOW AND IT TOOK A CONCERN MOTHER TO BRING THESE ACTIONS TO LIGHT. MY QUESTION IS WERE IS THE LEADERSHIP THERE? HOW COULD SO MANY MEN OF TRUST ALLOW THIS MAN TO CONTINUE HIS ACTIONS A HEAD OF A CHURCH? MONEY AND OR THEY THEMSELFS HAD SOMTHING TO HIDE, WHERE IS THE RIGHTOUSNES IN THAT AND THESE ARE YOUR LEADERS.I BELIEVE THAT THE RELGION ITSELF NEEDS TO QUESTION BECAUSE IF THE HEAD IS AT FAULT THEN SO IS THE BODY. I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE FORCES THAT WORK IN THE RELIGION THAT ARE NOT SHOWN TO THE PUBLIC ONLY A SELECT FEW, THESE FORCES ARE ULTIMALEY IN CONTROL OF THE WORKINGS OF THE CHURCH BUT TO KNOW THIS AS A DEACON OR ANYBODY OF THE CHURCH AND NOT SEE THAT THESE WORKINGS OF MIND, BODY, AND SOUL CONTROL ARE ALSO THE VITIMS AND THE CONGRAGATIONS THEY LEAD. THIS OF ALL THINGS SOUNDS LIKE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL.
Indeed the devil has been happy with Shiloh.
I had an affair with DG for 5 years (for most of his marriage to Tenise). I've been pregnant by him, but I let him talk me into an abortion. Darrell and I have had sex at my home, and in his office at the church countless times. We, too, emailed eachother all day, and night, everyday and night. I don't know how either of us got anything else done! We would talk on the phone some late nights (on his way home from work, or on his way home from a basketball game with the men's ministry).
God, I tried to leave this man alone so many times, but he would pursue me full force and argue me down to stay! He would get jealous and cuss me out if he saw me talking to another man. Two church employees have been fired because of their interest in me. Looking back these were the worst years of my life. I felt like I was in a bad marriage with an obsessive, controlling nut job!
You know what, just to show him that I am no longer concerned with his opinion of me or afraid of what he may think, I'll give him a hint of who I am... Thanks for the $500 for my trip. Here's one more... "Did you get that badge number?"
What can I say? I was young and stupid. I went to Darrell with a relationship problem, and he took advantange of the situation. An Expert Opportunist he is. Yes, I thought he really love me, and I really loved him. But it became clear that he didn't give a damn, and that he had been seeing numerous other women. It hurt. For a long time. But I'm over it. And I know that I have no one to blame but myself. I should not have been gullible when he complimented me. I should not have allowed him into my home. But I know that I can't change it.
I have to admit I did suspect that he was flirting with and or having sex with young girls from the teen ministry toward the end of our affair. I would notice a prolonged stare while the youth choir would sing. Then there were pictures and... ugh! Im tired of talking about this.
Bottom line, I hope Darrell relaizes that he has a true problem and that he has no business ministering to ANYONE!
To anonymous 10 8 08:
I'm Don Simpkins the person that Gilyard met with while in Dallas. I know how you must feel. Your story is so similar to all the other women that Gilyard had his way with. I have said many times that he could charm the birds out of their tree. I always thought that the term "Demonic Influence" was a term used to often. In the case of Gilyard I truly think it applies. He tries to tear down the believer, church, adminstration and the marriage of believers. He is very evil. The women who have come into contact with him feel relly victimized when it is all said and done. He takes women at their most vulnerable time and uses them for his personal gain. No one will ever understand how much control this guy can exhort over and individual. He deceived Paige Patterson, Jerry Vines and Jerry Falwell. So, why couldn't take advandage of a woman in need of counsel. I pray that you will grow deeper in your faith. I know that you have a host of emotions to contend with including the abortion. I pray that God's people extend you grace and you find peace in your life through Christ. I'm truly sorry that he has not been stopped. I pray that God people will quit seeking after Gilyard and justice will prevail.
Sincerely,
Don Simpkins
Anon Oct.8@7:31 pm:
I am sorry for what happened to you, but i think there are valuable lessons to be learned here.
Women, listen up! If you call yourself involved with a man, any man, and the only time you can see him is at your home or the place of business, red flag! If the man, NEVER, takes you out in public, red flag! If he NEVER acknowledges you publicly and won't sit with you in church, he is not into you! If after 5 years, all you got was $500, you have been played cheap! You should have been getting the same lifestyle as Tenise, just for having an affair with this married man. DG does/did what he did because he knew the people he could do it with and get away with it.
I was involved with DG right before he came out with Tenise. I don't see how anyone can miss the signs with this guy. After the 3rd conversation you have to know something is wrong with this guy; his conversation, attitudes,morals are nowhere near that becoming a pastor. In his personal life he doesn't act any different from an unsaved thug. I had been told about his ways before meeting him, so i played it safe. I made him tow the line and be respectful towards me and he treated me accordingly. Oh, he would get mad and hang up on me, but he always came back but I didn't lower my standards. obviously, he moved on and I'm so glad I didn't get wrapped up in his diabolical web!
Ladies, please pray whenever you encounter men, any man. Don't wait until after you have given up your body to seek God, do it from day one! Is this the man you have for me Lord, is this who I am to submit myself to, give my body to? I promise you he will not lead you into the hands of a man with this character!
First of all, those were clues... Reading comprehension, pleasssee.
Second, red flag? What are you talking about red flag? He was married, so I didn't need any flags... His marriage was the flag. Save your advice for a single woman who is dating a no good single man. This blog is about single women and married men, in which case there are no flags to look for. The marriage should have been enough for me to walk away. But I didn't.
As I said, I have no one to blame but myself and I'm over it.
Praise God that you were able to walk away. Good for you. But for the rest of us less than perfect women out there, Praise God for His mercy and forgiveness.
And now that you're done giving me psychological advice, why don't you go and make a list of all of your imperfection and solve those.
God Bless
Cont'd...
And what are you talking about "Ask God, is this who you have for me, Lord?"
Why would I need to ask that? I already know the answer... He's married!
You advice is totally inappropriate for the women in these particular situations. Women who have been seduced by this man had no intentions of entering an affair with him. He doesn't seek out those women. He's not into the promiscous type. And he has a whole line of questioning that he spends hours asking you to determine that. He seeks the type that are vulnerable and in an emotionally confused state over another relationship. And because of that vulnerability and instability, he can brainwash the women into becoming what he wants, and manipulate them into believing what he wants and being completely loyal and devoted to him. That's his game.
That is why it is so important for Christians not to allow our emotions to control and overtake us. "Rejoice in the Lord always!"
Because when we are in an emotion controlled state, it's so easy for the devil to slip in, and that is what happened with the women who have had affairs with Him.
If any advice should be given, it's that!
Again I am sorry for what happened to you. Maybe I should have said, single women, this is some advice for you when dating. DG was doing this stuff way before he got married and his M.O. didn't change; there were plenty that went thru what you did when he was single and just didn't pay attention to the signs.
You are correct, it never should have gotten anywhere because you knew he was married. That is why i said DG does what he does to the people he knows he can do it with, he can easily spot weak, vulnerable people. He is wrong to take advantage of other's weaknesses, but that is the only way he can work. he will run the other way to encounter a strong woman who can see thru him. You are wrong when you say he doesn't like promiscuous women, you just have no idea of all the women he comes across, he also had some women coming in from other cities.
I am glad for you that you are over it and have moved on!
I guess it’s time I add my “name” to the list. I was with Darrell for several years and one of many women (I later discovered) who were shocked the night he introduced Tenise. Thank you Tiffany for starting this blog, it has been so therapeutic for me. This blog has confirmed many things I suspected during our relationship and reinforced that I was involved with a master manipulator. I am so sorry for all the lives he has damaged…after 11 years I’m still healing from the mental abuse. My prayer is that every woman that has ever been intimate with him is safe from disease. I have been tested several times over the years and I often worry about wife. Pray for DG victims and pray for his wife!
Anon 11:00pm 12/11/08...Thanks for your blog....The Bible assures all who will with heart felt remorse and confession of sin,that God is Faithful to forgive us and to CLEANSE US of all unrigtheousness...And thats a PROMISE...Be confident in His forgiveness and serve Him with renwed vigor...BE BLESSED!!!
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