Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Share Your Feelings

I am curious as to what everyone is feeling at this point. I hear so many different things in talking with people around me and I would like to know what you all think.
I know many are filled with mixed emotion, some are just angry, some are still so hurt, some are still disbelieving, some are rallying around him still, others are lost in grief.
I guess I am wondering about the whole heartbeat overall of how this has affected everyone. I am still concerned for those of you that feel you will "never step foot in a church again"...are there any of you that still feel this way? If so, I want you to understand that God still has a plan for your life. I want you to hear that over and over again until it takes root in your heart.
Are there any of you who think you will never get over the pain? The disappointment? The shock?
How about the people that have been reading this blog and others and think that "see this is what those churches are like" and therefore you stay away? This maybe has had a negative affect on you? We want to give you a better message. God can do amazing things despite the frailty and sins of all of us. He loves us where we are, no requirements to come to HIm perfect and without problems. In fact, He delights in making sense of our problems and helping us through them.

To those of you that have been faithfully praying, don't stop now, keep lifting everyone up. There are so many hurts left to be healed. Some people are really just beginning to deal with this. Some have held out until the very end hoping he was innocent. Now they are allowing themselves to see it and deal with it for the first time. Keep praying. Obviously the enemy would love to get in there now and really work on people's hearts. Pray against bitterness and anger - pray that God heals hearts and help people to keep their eyes on Him. It is certainly understandable to feel angry with Gilyard and even those that allowed him to have authority, but please don't turn that anger against God.

Darrell stated in an article last week: “I stood in court today recognizing that I made serious mistakes and that I disappointed a great number of people,” Gilyard said. “It is my intention when this is all over to make it up to everyone as best I can.”

Well, we hope that he will really recognize this and that he will have some remorse - the important part however is for him to repent and come clean with God. You see, in his message he is still talking about "the people". He is talking about making it up to everyone as best he can. I am not sure that any of this can be "made up", not by a man (human) anyway.

But God can! God can make something beautiful out of ALL of this! Even for Darrell. But it will be God doing it and only God should get any credit for it.

"The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18 NIV

Share your feelings...I want to pray for you, and so do many others.


Char said...

Hello Tiffany,

I have mixed emotion on this; mixed because I had hoped that Darrell Gilyard would have repented publicly, since his crimes and sin were made public. And there’s a since of joy and relief that there’s finally justice for these innocent babies and their families. However, God's will was done and anyone can clearly see God's mercy even for Darrell in that he still has the opportunity to make things right with the Lord Jesus Christ. You would have to be completely blind not to see God's awesome mercy. And, because God is so gracious, I know that He will heal all of those who've been hurt or damaged in some way by this man.

What I get from all of this is that God is not mocked, He is merciful and longsuffering, He is just and He does everything RIGHT at all times and in all situations.
It’s a lesson to me that being a follower of the Lord Jesus is to be taken very seriously.

This atrocity is screaming at us saying; examine yourselves to see if you are in the faith. Examine your life. The way that you live, compare it to the life of Christ to see if we miss the mark. And if we do, become poor in spirit and mourn over it. Examine your motives; check yourselves and know for SURE that you belong to Christ. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ who is deserving of all the praise, glory and honor.

Thank God for Tiffany, the mothers and family members and even those whom this did not directly affect, for your courage, diligence and more importantly commitment to God in standing for truth and justice.

God bless you always

Anonymous said...

I have so many conflicting feelings on this entire situation. I have been a member of Shiloh for 13 yrs and when this story first broke I was never in doubt that DG was guilty. The conflict came for me when I reflected over the last 13 yrs and knowing how much I grew under his teachings(or maybe it wasn't his teachings but because GODs word never void and HE truly is the one to get all the credit). How can a man preach the way he did but live a lifestyle totally opposite of what he preached. DG was a good preacher but not a good pastor. I hate that this has happened to him but on the other hand he was WRONG and there is no excuse for his behaviour against young girls, pastor or not. DG was a lie and lived a lie; I jusy wonder if we will ever know the heart of what is wrong with him.

Women and girls let this be a lesson to us. Judge every character against the word of GOD. God gave us His Word so that we would know deceptive, evil, manipulative people by giving us the example of what he desired for us. No person, not even your pastor has a right to violate, mistreat or abuse you in any way. RUN!

Tenise, I know you saw the signs. I know the way he treated you, why did you turn a blind eye for so long? You had every right to leave,this would definitley qualify as sexually immoral lifestyle. Why did you feel you has to endure this?

I'm so sad for ALL the victims. They will need our prayers and I pray they don't turn away from a HOLY, LOVING GOD! God can still get the Glory out of your life!

Anonymous said...

I am still devistated about this but we that were really involved in the church knew what was happening. I was heartbroken about the children but could not understand all of the women that voluntarily allowed him to do some of the things we knew he was doing. I left the church before hewas caught,after being a member for 10 years, because I could not pay attention to his sermons anymore. My mind would drift trying to figure out what I had become involved in. I learned a lot in the begining, but the sermons became repeticious or for lack of a better phrase, nothing new.
As for Tenise, who's to say why she stayed. None of us can be a judge. Maybe she had hopes of changing him, we all certainly hoped she would.She could have been an excellent first lady if she had been given the chance to mingle with the ladies.

I have an old saying that I always remember: If you want to win,Play by God's Rules. God is so gracious that he will forgive Gilyard as he has forgiven us time and time again. But remember, the area in your life you fail to deal with will be responsible for your downfall, and God deals with his preachers harshly.

I pray for Gilyard an all of the victims tonight and ask God to search me so that I can clean up any area in my life that I am procrastinating or trying to hold on to that is not pleasing in His sight. Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

Gilyard said that something good will come out of this and he is right. We all need to examine our lives to see what we need to repent of so that we can fully live for God. Yet by the grace of God, there goes I. Now it is time to move on. God has spoken:).

Anonymous said...

I too was a member of Shiloh, joining shortly after DG arrived. I to left before all this happened, but, I believed in his guilt immediately. Why? Because he came across as controlling and manipulative but somehow he seemed intelligent and persuasive at the same time. I don't question his wife for trying to hold a marriage together. She too is probably a victim. After all,I stayed at Shiloh while hearing the whispers of his past.

I'm disillusioned now and have not been able to attend any church. I'm also suspicious of other pastors' real motives.

I feel as if something wonderful was taken from me...my willingness to believe in a persons 'goodness'.

Tiffany Thigpen Croft said...

In a world of many changes, He is the ONE who never changes - He is the Alpha and Omega, the First and Last, the Beginning and the End.
We can only find stability in Him -never in man.
The world is in bondage of sin and destruction. The only way to remain in perfect peace is to draw closer to Him.

Psalm 34:17 says, "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I believe this definitely applies in this situation. Isaiah 53:4-5 tells us that He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows...He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our sins...and by His stripes we are healed!

Pray these over and over again until you feel His peace come into you and you can begin to heal. He wants to carry your burdens, your sorrow, He wants you to be able to trust again. There are so many great men of God that you can grow under in worship, but they are not to be your ultimate authority. Please do not let this man's fall keep you from finding a great church and Pastor to learn from - the enemy would win, that is ultimately what this boils down to - a battle with the enemy. Stand firm on His Word and His promises!
Bless you my friend - I will be praying for you Anonymous @ 5:06, 8:41 and 7:12 - I have many friends reading this blog also that I know are praying as well. And (Char) Charlene, you know I love you and pray for you!

Anonymous said...

"I'm also suspicious of other pastors' real motives. "

You should be. No where in scripture do we see one person in authority in the Body. Jesus Christ is the authority and the rest of us are lowly servants to one another. That includes the pastor with a PhD! No where in scripture do we see the strucutre that ONE man preaches. Please study 1 and 2 Corinthians and realize that the structure we see today of the Body of Christ is man centered.

Scripture tells us that we have the best teacher and it is the Holy Spirit. 1 John teaches that all TRUE believers have anointing. He will teach you!

And scripture teaches that ALL true believers are given gifts to edify the Body. SPRITUAL gifts! Not just cleaing the kitchen. True spiritual gifts. Most churches are set up that you are a spectator sitting in the pew in worship. That is how the controlling wolf who is an excellent speaker and charismatic leader takes control. Remember, Paul was not charismatic. He was not a good speaker. He spent more time pleading with folks in the letters than commanding anything.

We have no one to blame but ourselves for these wolves. We put them on pedestals and follow them blindly.

My advice to all victims (and I was one) is to bury your nose in scritpure. Pray hard constantly for the Holy Spirit to teach you. Stop relying on a man to teach you. You must be Bereans. Most wolves have correct doctrine but abominable black hearts. But we are so taken with their charisma and leadership, we have no discernment. They preach the Gospel for profit. You are their customers.

2 Peter 2

2And many shall follow their pernicious ways, by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evilly spoken of.

3And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you -- they whose judgment now for a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

4For if God spared not the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into chains of darkness to be reserved unto judgment;

Anonymous said...

A note to Tiffany,

You are a true champion of love, truth and grace and mercy. Even when you had the right to be vindictive and vengeful, you chose the path of Truth and Grace. You spoke the truth and allowed others to express their stories. You spoke truth about DG and yet, you recognized that DGs judgment was really up to God. You have given the victims and I mean all victims (as the members of the church are victims of the mask he wore) a safe place to speak their truths and find a loving and caring place to support, encourage, and comfort them. Way to go!

I salute you.

Richard M

Anonymous said...

it is so important to focus on the message and not the messenger. A lot of people cam to Christ under Gilyard's ministry and are still strong or even stronger because of all this. God has a way of making everything work for His glory.

Bro./Pastor Rod H. said...

Anon 1:32pm you are so correct.It is the message of the Gospel that saves,not the character of the man. God saves not because people are good; But because He is absolutely Good!!Even the wicked high priest Caiaphas prophecied that Jesus would die for the people! With that said we are to always be vigilant of the fruit that any man of God produces[Matt.7:15-20]!

Anonymous said...

Is anyone there?
Quiet on the blog huh? What's on you minds as June 11 quickly approaches.

Anonymous said...

Tenise finally divorced Darrell. I'm sure this was hard for her. I pray that God gives her peace and happiness!


Anonymous said...

I am in deep prayer for her. I am hurting for and with her. She is a sweetheart.

I wonder if she will keep his last name.

She must have filed months ago.

Thy Peace said...

Off Topic:

Christa Brown's book is finally out.

Stop Baptist Predators Blog > This Little Light.
This Little Light is a combination memoir and exposé that not only tells my personal story, but also documents the beginning of activist efforts to bring clergy accountability to Baptist-land. You can see more info about the book on this new blog-site: ThisLittleLight-TheBook.

You can see the full cover of the book - front and back - here.

The book is available on Barnes and Noble and Amazon, or you can order it from your local bookstore

Anonymous said...

As one who was sexually assaulted by a "prominent" televangelist, I can tell you exactly how one can be a GREAT "preacher" and, simultaneously be a wretched PASTOR. Acting, pure and simple. Playing a role. The evil one does, that is the REAL man. Believe me. I have thought about this for years. I went through every phase after my assault. The man who assaulted me wrote books, had a television ministry, and FOOLED them all! After his death, less than a year after assaulting me (God IS merciful!) several more young girls came forward with their stories. His modus operandi was EXACTLY the same with each. I do not believe GOD has ever used this Darrell Gilyard and never will. How many chances can a man be given? He deserves to be in prison for the rest of his days. Those supporting him were DECEIVED. You only learned from his "teachings" because you wanted to learn. You were READY to receive. This man is a serial rapist. He does not deserve any support. Just because he was a "preacher?" He should be held to an even more strident standard BECAUSE HE WAS SAYING HE WAS OF GOD. Like a dirty cop, he is an abomination. I wish he could receive the death penalty for the lives he ruined...

Tiffany Thigpen Croft said...

I am so sorry that you have experienced such pain and I grieve for you. Your Heavenly Father grieves for you as well and he knows every offense against you.
It is so hard to explain to others the lasting effects and pain of this type of abuse. When the offenses are by someone held in high esteem by others, it becomes very confusing mentally and emotionally. I understand your pain and I pray that you will find peace and healing.

What Satan meant for evil and for harm, God can use for good and He can turn those ashes into beauty and purpose! I pray this for you.

May I copy your message and post it on the newer thread of comments on this blog?

Anonymous said...


people in leadership in the church can do such terrible damage by abuse - however minor it may seem and denial of responsibility. The blog is an as yet unfinished story of the effect of reporting abuse.
I want all church based abuse victims of any sort to know that they are not alone.

Anonymous said...

Hello Tiffany,
More people need to be filled with HATE...We are a society; a world that condones the RAPE OF CHILDREN. Let me be more direct, for so called religious people to allow this child predator into their pulpit, their church should be burned to the ground. We have to STOP condoning the rape of our children.
That goes for the rapists like eddie long; hypocrite, liar, rapist and others. And, BLACK folk as well.

They sound stupid; they are stupid..and it sends a piss poor; immoral message to their children. Paul Newman Sr., a so called Deacon should be stoned to death. I said it.

Ann Green!!!! I am SICK of these people making excuses for rapists and child predators and acting like God condones their warped mindset. He/She DOES NOT!!!!!!!

Just like the catholic church; they are an abomination!!!! to all.

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