let's stop pastor darrell gilyard together

Should Former Jacksonville Pastor Convicted of Sex Crimes Return to Christian Service?

2012-01-06T10:55:00.007-05:00

Today's Florida Times Union Article by reporter Jeff Brumley
Read Here:

news:jacksonville.com/news/crime/2012-01-06/story/should-former-jacksonville-pastor-convicted-sex-crimes-return-christian

A note from my heart:
Many of you believe me to be a hate filled, angry, vindictive woman because this blog exists. If you knew me personally, you would not think this way.

And it doesn't matter what your opinion of me is, this is not about me.
It's not about forgiveness.

I forgave Darrell L. Gilyard one night back in 1991, in a moment of prayer and realization that hating him would never be helpful for me. That I needed to forgive in order to be set free. I didn't want to give him power over my life - I wanted to seek victory through the knowledge that the one who granted me life, could someday use the pain and circumstance I was in to bring good. It developed my charachter and made me a very strong person, grounded in faith. I have never lost sight of the love of the Father. I began to see man as just that, no matter their position, just a human trying to reach Godliness. I didn't hold people on pedestals. For that I am grateful, it saved me a lot of heartache.

I have never done this with an ounce of hatred or even really anger, though you may not believe it. Truthfully, I become angered sometimes by the covering up of sin by people, than the sickness of the man producing the sin. Because that really just gives him more power and allows him to be blinded to the effects of his actions.

If the opportunity arose, I would greet Darrell on the street, I would not be angry. I would not be fake. I do not hate.

Many, many people have let me down in life - it just is the natural course of life. If I allowed them power over me, I would be bitter and angry. But that would serve me no purpose in overcoming. It is not who I am. It is not God's plan for my life.
I got a precious gift for Christmas - a sign with one of my favorite sayings -

"Life isn't about waiting for storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Apostle Paul taught us that we can have joy in the midst of suffering.

This blog is only a source.
People who choose to read it, do. Those that hate it, shouldn't fuel their hate by reading it.
I do not post here often as it is simply a source of information. I did not comment for the news article because I saw no point and felt it only fueled more hate. My position is not about me. It is not for attention or to see my name. In fact, having my name attached is in some ways damaging to me. If I was anonymous, people would call me a coward. I am not ashamed. This happened. I have forgiven. God has a plan. He doesn't need me for the plan.

My only hope and prayer is for knowledge, for knowledge produces wisdom and wisdom produces understanding.

Someday, if Darrell continues a path into ministry - or any other field - and somewhere a person gets a little uneasy feeling...just happens to google his name...they will be warned. What is done with that knowledge is up to them. It is up to you.

If I had known of his past in 1990 - which there was a vast knowledge of indiscretions covered up - then I would have been armed, I would have had wisdom and understanding that he was not a safe person. He could have chosen to take the same knowledge of his weaknesses and not placed himself in positions with girls and women as a mentor. He chose not to - I didn't have the ability to make such a choice to protect myself. Neither did these victims. In fact, their parents, like mine, were totally unaware.

Someday - one person, one girl, maybe many, will be protected - simply by this knowledge.

***Darrell, whatever you choose to do, no one can stop you. Whether in the light or in the dark. If you have allowed God to reach those places in you that are broken, those places that have wanted to have power over others to make you feel strong. The need to take from people. If you have allowed healing - true healing. It will show in your choices and how you live out the rest of your life. There is no doubt that God can use you, your story, your crimes for good. That is never a question in my mind. But what God can do is not to be confused with what He desires to do - and you have free will to edit His plan. What man plans is not always in alignment with what God plans. I forgave you years ago, I do not stand in judgement of you and you have no power over me. I have no desire to be consumed with you or thoughts of you - as you once told me in your perversion of scripture - but, I will pray that God keeps you from being able to violate one other female soul in your time on earth. I pray that every possible opportunity is available for the girls/women in your future path to not be confused by your charms and your misuse of their trust. The purpose of this blog is for knowledge, to lessen your power. Not to intentionally harm you.
If you have overcome this and are healed, I pray blessings over you and give God all the glory for your healing and it will be known as you move forward in life. And God alone would be glorified! It's not about you anymore Darrell.***

You see, we as believers have become a mockery to the world. We have confused forgiveness and blindness. You who are followers and supporters of Darrell, God bless you for your unfailing love. He needs people to be supportive, to be prayer warriors, to love him, to council him, to mentor him. Just use wisdom in this devotion. Your council should reflect that of the Father which is wisdom - there should be time and a level of trust established. Time for restoration, time for accountability, for healing. Not a rocket ride back into power...but it is your choice obviously, so if you all choose that this is the path....

There are girls and women out there that have not healed from his crimes - one reason is that he has never shown them remorse or repentance. There are children born out of this pain. There are lasting ripples in the lives that will not stop with one girl, it will be passed into her relationships with men, in marriage, with her children...with her family. Pain and scars of betrayal and loss of trust...even a desire to detest all things spiritual. Pain that you can never understand. Some are stronger than others, some heal and others just can't seem to get past it.

Darrell, if you ever decide you want to apologize to these women, girls and children - to start the chain of healing - let me know. thefamilycircus8@gmail.com I will post it on the blog. Surely you could humble yourself to that, if your heart is repentant. To tell them that your weaknesses had nothing to do with them, that they deserved more. That it had nothing to do with them but was all about you. It would go a long way to healing for many.

I have written this blog for the girls out their with names and faces, real people whose lives have been forever altered. That have not healed. I have read your stories, your letters, your emails, I know most of your names. You are on my mind and in my heart as I started this blog, as I chose to leave it up all of these years. None of this is about me. I found healing years ago. This is all for YOU - to hopefully keep knowledge alive, to keep others safe. YOU are martyrs in some ways, YOU were the warning cry...YOU are now the lighthouses that show that depite man's hurt, you can overcome! YOU can! YOU are not what he used you for - YOU are not who he told you that you were and you are definitely NOT his victim!

Whether or not he ever heals, YOU can! Find power in that...find healing.

God be glorified! To the world - we as believers are a laughingstock - God is not who we reflect most of the time. Please don't let this become your reflection of who you think God is. Dig deeper. I am a broken person that is trying to find her way, I desire to reflect God's love as I desire to be loved that way as well. I am not perfect - I do not feel I am better than him or anyone else...in fact, truth be known, I am really hard on myself. But I do believe there is a God - one God - and I have a personal relationship with Jesus, who I desire to be like...though I will never achieve it :-/
I am not a super christian or a throw it in your face believer - I believe everyone has a choice to believe as they wish...I only wish in some ways through my day to day interaction to people for them to see something different in me. It is not me they see...but the goodness of Jesus shining through. And Jesus unconditional love of me when I am not showing his goodness...

SOON TO BE RELEASED

2011-12-04T10:34:00.004-05:00

Darrell Gilyard set to be released 12/28/2011

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates/detail.asp?Bookmark=1&From=list&SessionID=292959408

I pray that there has been some sort of progress and that somehow he has allowed God to intervene. Although statistically speaking, once an offender - it is always a struggle. Most child sex offenders repeat. And this is not what God wants nor does He overlook it - what's done in secret will be revealed in the light.

Too many lives ruined by the actions of these selfish, cold hearted offenders. Too many stories to even begin to tell. You can not make excuses - there is simply no way to excuse these behaviors. Sex crimes are life altering - but those against children are incomprehensible!

I fully believe after reading many statistics - that the large majority of offenders have been offended themselves at some point in their lives.

I know that with God, all things are possible. And I know that those that have fallen into the hands of sexual predators can be healed and restored - but I also know that the pain for them never leaves and nothing is ever the same. God be with them and give them the comfort that only YOU can give!

Time For Change

2010-05-20T14:07:00.004-04:00

It has been a long time since I have posted anything new. I thought that it would be best for my family and myself to take a break and knew that when any news of Gilyard's release came I would pick this back up. There is no news of that, but my soul cannot rest.

I am grieved. Not for myself in any way - but for us as a church body, for people that are survivors of church abuses. For all of those who are still crying themselves to sleep every night, who are unable to hold down jobs and provide for their families, for broken marriages and failed relationships, those who have turned their back on any reminder of a religious institution that failed them. These things result from carrying a terrible secret and being trapped in a vacuum of silence. After being abused reaching out for help only to be told that you need to keep this a secret, being shamed and believing that if they ever told they would be responsible for weakening the cause of Christ. While they sit and watch the perpetrator move to another church, knowing that nothing is being done to protect the next person.

It happens more than we care to know, really it is a burden knowing how often this happens. The grief can be overwhelming. Just ask Christa Brown, she has carried not only her own story but now years of others pain within. It is so hard to know that there are so many people that have carried such a huge burden, that have been abused sexually by someone they should be able to trust and then abused again by the leadership that should step in and defend them. They are kicked and shamed instead. While the perpetrator is lifted up and put on a pedestal, transferred to another church and not one other person knows the terrible deeds they are getting away from.

I recently spoke with a law enforcement officer who shared that this crime happens more than we care to know. That our children are definitely not safe anywhere and especially not churches, until this changes.

These perpetrators should not move on to another church with no warning - period! This should simply never be allowed to happen. Yet it does, almost daily. We do not have to become judge and jury, but something has to change.

Do we really believe that this is what God would want to happen? Do you really think that it is best to let a Pastor get away with hurting a child in this way? Do you realize that you actually become a part of this by washing your hands of the knowledge of it? Are you really able to sleep at night knowing that he/she will abuse again and you have warned no one? I dare say that many leaders wrestle with this, have no idea what to do about their findings and at the cost of the innocent, they do nothing. You assume it is better to keep it a secret and "hope" they find healing, but God's word will not be mocked. These are His children and He cares for them, they are the tiny sparrows that are so precious to Him. Yes, God cares for the sinner perpetrating the crime also, but He does not condone their behavior, He is grieved by it and they will be put to shame. His word promise those things done in the dark will be exposed and pride comes before the fall. None of these things are done with the Father's approval or blessing - do not be fooled by the title of "Pastor" or "deacon" or "youth leader" - this does not mean all of their behaviors are right before the Lord. They are still but mere human men. We wish for healing for all, redemption and restoring of their minds and hearts - but FIRST comes repentance and turning away from the sin.

The big question is, "What will we do about this?"
Will we just be angry and outraged by it, talk about it, blog about it, feel the pain and carry the hurt, and is that all? What will we do to make changes? Obviously our leaders are not going to step up. They have excuses as to how impossible it is to govern churches. Really? So we do nothing?

We all know that nearly everything we touch in our daily lives was at one time seen as "impossible."
It took people with vision and that were willing to take risks to discover new lands, to fly for the first time, to invent the light bulb, the telegraph, modern communication - plenty of people stand by and say "it can't be done". If they had stuck with that mentality we would have never walked on the moon, had modern day communication, cars, planes, electricity and the list goes on. What man sees as impossible, God sees as possible.
If we all come together, surely God has planned a way for us. Do you not think that He wants us to rise up and do something to protect His sheep? We need to pray about it and ask what our role might be. We need to do more than just hear a sad story and go on about our day, only thinking about it from time to time. This is an epedemic crime that is leaving the church very wounded and unprotected. We have become a laughing stock as the media presents yet another story of a preacher pedophile getting caught. We need to step up and protect our people and not allow them to continue to prey on our trust and abuse their title.

There are those of us with resources and connections to make this happen - let's all pray and ask God to show us the way. How can we protect our children and families against predators within our churches? I am on board, how about you?

I have no idea what my role in this may be, there may be a plan for someone else to do this and they just need encouragement - I surely don't know God's plan. I know that many have lain the foundation and have done all that they know to do - Christa Brown has a database started, others are sounding the alarm and have given calls to action. Let's continue to lay this railway and make a way.

I have recently taught my children about the Underground Railroad and about The Civil War and all of the obstacles people faced trying to fight for what is right, how people pulled together to make things happen and help slaves find their way to freedom. We have modern day slaves to secrecy and shame right now in our churches.

I know there were many that risked it all historically- let's lay the foundation to have the "above ground railroad". We want to live above this hypocrisy, living honorably and transparently in our churches. This needs to be done right and responsibly, but it needs to be done.

We can trust that God will surely provide the way. This is blasphemous to Him to allow this in His Holy places and to "the least of these". Those in positions of leadership that have done nothing, will one day answer for all of this. But we cannot count on them to do this and we cannot judge them for their choices. But we can be different.

We must pray individually about our roles and God will move. He will lay out a path.

Just a Man

2009-06-11T17:45:00.003-04:00

Darrell received his sentence today and was led away in handcuffs. I look at this picture and I see just a man. Not a Pastor or any other label - just a man that has been broken by sin. I wonder what happened in his life that led him down this path of destruction. Surely there is a reason beyond his obvious sin, a path was chosen and along the way a compromise was made. I am anxious to see what he may allow God to do from this point on with his life.

The Trail of Tears

2009-06-08T20:24:00.005-04:00

Since the plea bargain I have received so many emails from caring people from my past, people that also watched Darrell Gilyard preach back in the late 80's early 90's and revered him. Most of these people knew of my situation with him and also of the scandal that that all became public once his past was fully seen. But there are still many that simply did not know and are now shocked. They wondered what happened to him, why he wasn't a regular at First Baptist any longer, but assumed he just moved on. There have been pictures of our church youth group tour days posted on the popular "facebook" site, in many of these Darrell is sitting in a pew with his arms around teen girls and no one thought much of it. They have held onto the pictures and just see the memories of being with this "famous pastor" and of the fun we had as a huge group of kids that love the Lord and were on the road telling people about Jesus. No one really saw any red flags, atleast not any that they mentioned. Why, you may ask? Because he was presented to us as a Pastor/Evangelist that we were very blessed to have the honor of touring with, and because we should have been able to trust him. Because people just don't think to be careful of a Pastor, to be weary of "innappropriate behavior". I am sure at that time if anyone had a "complaint" it would have been scrutinized and maybe even blamed as "overactive teen imagination". After all, this is the "great Darrell Gilyard", a famous southern Baptist Preacher. Many were fooled, epecially his victims.

But, he wasn't safe, as I along with many others found out. This post is to make us really think about what to do next time, not that anything big will necessarily change, but maybe someone will be more wary if they feel things are not "feeling right". You see, he had a past, a long history of sexual problems and it was all dismissed. Look at the situation today, really look at it and see that a great injustice was done and know that it will probably happen again. The reality is we have to face the facts that there will be more situations where people feel it is best to "cover up" these sins and "forgive" and no real action will be taken. This is a sad reality, but it is evident - especially as you read again the details of this long road and how long it took to get this criminal sentence and his admission of guilt by his plea bargain.

It has been a true "trail of tears" and devastation. Pastor Wade Burleson did the best job of creating and posting a timeline based on the facts. This was posted on his blog last year, I have asked his permisssion to post it again here. It is baffling to me upon reading it again, what in the world does it really take to get the churches attention? How many cries for help are really needed? How many witnesses? How much "grace and forgiveness" is extended to the abuser by being sensitive to his position, but yet the "victims" are trampled, humiliated and left alone to deal with it, most of the time placed in absolute shame by the ones they went to for help. What a shame.

My personal note: In addition to all of the information below from the past, we now know that he has fathered children (atleast 3 confirmed); he has solicited sex through text messages to teens (part of the plea was that he asked for those charges to be dropped); he has molested teens in his office during "counseling"; he has had many relationships with women, single and married (while he was married); there have been payoff's, silence being the condition; people that have also had their credibility ruined after trying to report alleged rape or other sexual misconduct - the list goes on. I kept an actual notebook as the information poured in listing the proof against him. It could have all been avoided years ago, by the actions of many along the way.
Wake up call, what does it really take?

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
The Sordid and St range Darrell Gilyard Story and What It Reveals About the SBC ,The Florida Times Union reports that Darrell Gilyard, a former Southern Baptist pastor, will appear in Florida court this month to defend himself on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct against a fourteen year old girl. Gilyard, who resigned January 4, 2008 as pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida after his arrest, is an interesting case study regarding the old, but sad axiom in the Southern Baptist Convention - "It's not who you are, but who you know that gets you places." Though one cannot be sure of the motives of those involved in the following story, it seems that there is an air of "us vs. them" mentality in some SBC leadership circles that leads to cover ups and excuses for inexcusable conduct among SBC ministers.

Darrell Gilyard burst on the SBC scene when he preached at the 1989 Southern Baptist Convention Pastors' Conference at the instigation of Paige Patterson and Jerry Vines. Gilyard related to SBC pastors how he had grown up as a homeless teenager, living under a bridge in Jacksonville, Florida, only to be miraculously converted and called to preach. He expressed gratefulness to both Vines and Patterson as he articulated the need for young, conservative gospel preachers to follow the leaders of the conservative resurgence. His message received a standing ovation at the SBC Pastor's Conference, and a star had been born in SBC circles. Jerry Vines had "discovered" Gilyard in Jacksonville, and Paige Patterson had discipled Gilyard as the young preacher attended Criswell College in the mid-1980's.

Gilyard would later repeat this "homeless" story on Jerry Falwell's Old Time Gospel Hour television broadcast, only to have his adoptive mother, Barbara Davis of Palatka, Florida, tell the media afterwards that she had raised Darrell from age 5 to 19 in middle income comfort, and that his story of living homeless under a bridge was a lie. Unfortunately, lying was the least of the problems of this young man who was fast becoming a rising star among Southern Baptists. While Gilyard was at Criswell, a long litany of sexual allegations against Gilyard came to the surface. It was during this time that Gilyard, with the encouragemnt and recommendation of Paige Patterson, became a staff member at Concord Missionary Baptist Church in Dallas. What happened next is unconscionable.

Predatorial Behavior Explained Away
According to The Dallas Morning News, Concord's Senior Pastor, E.K. Bailey said a dark side of Mr. Gilyard began to emerge while "ministering" at Concord. Rumors began to fly that the associate pastor was making advances on women in the church. In 1987, within two years after his hiring at Concord, Mr. Gilyard was fired in front of 1,500 members of Concord Baptist for having had inappropriate sexual relationships with at least, according to Pastor Baily, twenty five women members of the church.

Mr. Bailey said officials from First Baptist, Dallas, Texas, the church that sponsors Criswell College, attended the open service during which Mr. Gilyard was fired. Though Criswell College and FBC Dallas representatives were present at the Concord service where Gilard was fired, Patterson later decided there was not enough "evidence" to further investigate Mr. Gilyard or discipline him in terms of Criswell College or Gilyard's ministry among SBC churches. Gilyard was promoted among SBC churches by Patterson, Vines and other conservative leaders. In fact, according to Pastor Bailey, "Paige Patterson wrote me an unkind letter over the whole ordeal (Gilyard's firing). He basically told me that he would have come out to my church and solved the problem for me if I had told him first." Notice, according to the letter, the problem was not the young ladies being victimized. The problem was not the sexual impropriety of Mr. Gilyard. The "problem" was the public firing. It never would have happened if Patterson had been involved.

Pastor Bailey, now deceased, said First Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas and specifically Paige Patterson, continued to promote Mr. Gilyard throughout the predominantly white Southern Baptist churches. "You saw his star rising and rising," said Pastor Bailey, "and you knew what kind of a person he was." Pastor Bailey's comment illumines the theme of this post: "It is not 'who' you are, but 'who' you know that matters in the SBC."

Let me illustrate. After Gilyard's termination at Concord in 1987, he had little trouble gaining employment as assistant pastor for Hilltop Baptist Church in Norman, Oklahoma. Hilltop is a Southern Baptist Church and Senior Pastor Dan Maxwell hired Gilyard in 1988, less than a year after Gilyard was terminated at Concord. Maxwell had previously hosted a series of "conservative resurgence" pastors' meetings at his church at Hilltop, with Paige Patterson as the guest speaker. A former staff member at Hilltop, who would later serve with us at Emmanuel, told me that Pastor Maxwell hired Gilyard in 1988 at the sole urging and recommendation of Paige Patterson. Patterson told Maxwell to hire Gilyard, in spite of the allegations in Dallas, because the women in Dallas could not be believed. This squares with what Pastor Maxwell would later recount to The Dallas Morning News when he explained why he had hired Gilyard. "Paige Patterson said he had been out there (to Concord Missionary Baptist) and talked to the women and there had been nothing to the allegations. He (Patterson) could not substantiate them." However, less than a year after Gilyard arrived at Hilltop, allegations of sexual misconduct against Gilyard surfaced at that Southern Baptist church as well. Two women told Pastor Dan Maxwell that Mr. Gilyard had made sexual advances toward them, and a third woman confessed to having an affair with Mr. Gilyard.

Pastor Maxwell says he took this information of Gilyard's misconduct to Dr. Patterson. Dr. Patterson called and spoke personally to the woman who said she had an affair with Mr. Gilyard. After Patterson spoke to the woman, he told Pastor Maxwell that he did not believe the woman's story. "That individual's story changed many times," Dr. Patterson later explained to a reporter of The Dallas Morning News. "That bothered me," he said.

What is disturbing to me is the fact that Patterson is "bothered" by the womans story and not by the fact Gilyard is once again accused of sexual impropriety; particularly since Patterson already knew of Gilyard's 1987 sexual misconduct at Concord Baptist Church. Patterson was "bothered" by the woman's story at Hilltop, but NOT by Gilyard's alleged sexual misbehavior at Hilltop? Gilyard was terminated from Hilltop in early 1989 by Pastor Maxwell, and the friendship between Maxwell and Patterson, according to a staff member at Hilltop at the time, was terminally breached.

Back in Dallas in 1990
After being released from Hilltop in 1989, Mr. Gilyard made his way back to Dallas, Texas, and with the assistance of Patterson, Gilyard become the associate pastor at Shiloh Baptist in Garland, Texas. Before long, sexual misconduct allegations surfaced at Shiloh against Gilyard. Once again, Dr. Patterson intervened on behalf of his disciple. In 1990 Dr. Patterson met with two women who represented friends who, they said, were involved with Mr. Gilyard. Don Simpkins, a pastoral counselor, also attended. Mr. Simpkins said Dr. Patterson asked him to counsel Mr. Gilyard once a week. "I was supposed to "polish the rough edges," said Mr. Simpkins. Mr. Simpkins said that after a few visits with Mr. Gilyard, he suspected some "personality disorders' and wanted to test Mr. Gilyard . "He refused," Mr. Simpkins told the Dallas Morning News, "so I called Paige to let him know it wasn't going well, but he never returned any of my calls."

Gilyard was fired from Shiloh Baptist Church in 1990, only to wind up as pastor of Victory Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas a few months later. In July of 1991, reports of sexual improprieties by Pastor Gilyard at Victory Baptist (his fourth church in four years), burst into the public realm. The allegations by the women at Victory Baptist Church who claimed to be his victims are so bizarre that I will post them verbatim from the July 14, 1991 Dallas Morning News article that made them public:

"When it came to women (Gilyard) would not allow them to usher, serve on the finance committee, teach men or take classes with them.But outside the church, according to the women who claim to have been victimized by him, Mr. Gilyard spent most of his time with women. Those who talked with The Dallas Morning News about their experiences asked to remain anonymous . . . A woman joined Victory Baptist shortly after she moved to Dallas last year. Mr. Gilyard offered her a job at the church. "He called about 10 o'clock one night and said he wanted to talk about my work," she recalled. "We talked for a while like that, then the conversation shifted and he started getting real personal. He wanted to know what attracted me to him. I should have hung up, but I felt flattered.' She said the phone call became more sexually explicit until finally she hung up. I felt dirty and sick afterward," she said.She said she told Darrell DeBoard, the administrator at Victory Baptist, two or three days later. The woman said she also quit her job at the church and moved out of town that weekend.Mr. DeBoard declined to discuss the incident, saying he could not violate a confidence . . . Martha Dixius, a social worker who taught Sunday school at Victory Baptist, said a woman in the congregation approached her in November for help. The woman, said Ms. Dixius, had "a trust level of a 7-year-old. She is very naive.' In a counseling session, Ms. Dixius said, the woman told her that Mr. Gilyard had noted her visitor's card and phoned her the next day with an offer to show her through the church. During the tour, he asked her questions a bout her personal life.The next evening about 6 p.m., the woman told Ms. Dixius, Mr. Gilyard drove to her apartment and called her from his car phone. "She let him in her apartment because he told her he wanted to talk about some of the problems they had discussed the night before,' Ms. Dixius said. "She told me that by 6:30, she was raped." The woman told her she was too confused and frightened to call police. The woman told Ms. Dixius that Mr. Gilyard continued to go to her apartment for six months and have sex with her. "He would - call her from the car phone and say, "I'm coming up, let me in,' and she would be too frightened to say no.' After counseling the woman for four months, Ms. Dixius referred her to another counselor. The two counselors met with the woman and Darrell DeBoard, administrator of Victory Baptist. "The word "rape' was used a lot," Mr. DeBoard recalled, "but I understood that to be emotional rape. She was graphic with details, so it was hard not to believe that something had happened."

It was only during the time that the Dallas Morning News made the above allegations against Gilyard public that Paige Patterson ended his support of Gilyard. Gilyard had been fired from FOUR churches in FOUR years for allegations of sexual misconduct from dozens and dozens of women. Patterson knew of the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Concord Baptist Church in 1987. He knew about the sexual allegations against Gilyard at Hilltop Baptist Church in 1988. Gilyard preached at the Southern Baptist Convention Pastors' Conference in 1989 after being introduced to Conference leaders by Patterson and Vines. Patterson knew about the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Shiloh Baptist Church in 1990. Patterson knew about the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard at Victory Baptist Church in 1991.

Again, The Dallas Morning News made public the sexual misconduct allegations against Gilyard on July 14, 1991, at least six years after initial accounts of Gilyard's sexual improprieties surfaced at Criswell. Since that day in 1991 Patterson says he has had nothing to do with Darrell Gilyard.

Gilyard left Dallas in late 1991 and went to Florida where he eventually became pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church of Jacksonville in 1993. The state of Florida is now seeking to prosecute Gilyard for "lewd and lascivious conduct" against a fourteen year old girl while serving as pastor at Shiloh in Florida. The sordid and strange Darrell Gilyard story has yet to end, but there are some lessons we can learn from it in the SBC.

Lessons Learned

(1). Information is power - to either check or correct poor leadership.

One wonders if glowing recommendations regarding Darrell Gilyard and his "ministry" would have continued from SBC leadership, in spite of their knowledge of allegations of sexual impropriety against Gilyard, had it not been for the public revelations of the Dallas Morning News in 1991. Thank God for a free, independent press. In addition, we thank the Lord for those women who have been victimized by Gilyard but are now making their voices heard in order to prevent other predatory behavior. Tiffany Croft, a young lady who became a victim of Gilyard's immoral conduct, wrote to me this past year expressing her desire to stop Gilyard from victimizing other women and girls. Croft eventually started a blog of her own called Let's Stop Darrell Gilyard Together". She is proof that every voice counts. She has made a difference.

(2). Southern Baptist churches would do well to remember that the qualifications for effective pastoral leadership are measured by the words and testimonies of those church members who have been recipients of a pastor's love and ministry - not professional endorsers.

In other words, though it is often not "who you are, but who you know" that gets you places in the SBC, a wise church will discount the big names on a resume and do due diligence with those people who have experienced the ministry of a pastor over the course of years. Likewise, big name denominational leaders may say negative things about people they do not like, but the "proof" of effective pastoral leadership is in the people being led.

(3). It is a shame when those outside the SBC must call our leaders to account for their actions because we Southern Baptists are too fearful to hold our own leaders accountable.

The Survivor Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) called on the trustees of Southwestern Theological Seminary to remove President Paige Patterson for protecting Darrell Gilyard from being held accountable for his sexual misconduct in the 1980's and 1990's. SNAP believes victimized women and girls could have been protected from the predatory behavior of Gilyard had Southern Baptist leaders, particularly former SBC Presidents Vines and Patterson, held him accountable when they first were informed of his behavior. On January 9, 2008, President Paige Patterson officially responded to SNAP's request that Patterson be removed:

"Christa Brown and the SNAP organization have alleged that years ago, and even in the present, I have protected Darrell Gilyard, most recently the Pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida, when he was involved in sexual misconduct. These snap judgments by Brown and others are misinformed and inaccurate. "

Patterson goes on to write about how he "moderated" the 1991 meeting where Gilyard was terminated from Shiloh Baptist Church in Dallas, but . . .

(a). He does not answer why in 1987 he rebuked Pastor E.K. Baily for terminating Gilyard from Concord Baptist Church after "twenty-five" women accused Gilyard of sexual misconduct.

(b). He does not answer why he recommended Gilyard to Hilltop Baptist Church in 1988 AFTER knowing the charges against Gilyard at Concord.

(c). He does not answer why he arranged for Gilyard to speak at the SBC Pastors Conference AFTER he knew of the sexual misconduct allegations at BOTH Concord Baptist and Hilltop Baptist churches.

(d). He does not answer why he refused to "believe" the stories of the women who claimed to be having sexual relationships with Pastor Gilyard; that is, not until The Dallas Morning news reported the stories of these women publicly.

(e). He does not answer why he arranged for a "pastoral counselor" to work on "the rough edges" of Darrell Gilyard in 1990 after Gilyard had been terminated from his THIRD church in THREE years (Shiloh Baptist, Dallas, Texas) for sexual misconduct instead of working to remove Gilyard from all pastoral ministry.

Why Bring All This Up Again Now?

Southern Baptists have proven we do not like to air our dirty laundry. When things become known to the outside world, we attack the messenger, rather than deal with the problem. We must change our approach. Southern Baptists must stand up and speak out, rather than mock or ridicule those who do.

According to the blog Abuse and Christianity, Darrell Gilyard has been back in the pulpit of a Southern Baptist affiliated church while he awaits his trial in Florida. Rather than act as if Southern Baptists would never ignore sexual predators in the pulpit, rather than mock and ridicule those who expose our lack of moral judgment, we should learn from our history so that Southern Baptist churches and pastors will not be tempted to repeat it.We must understand that if we don't clean up our own house, nobody else will.
In His Grace,Wade

Share Your Feelings

2009-05-26T08:31:00.006-04:00

I am curious as to what everyone is feeling at this point. I hear so many different things in talking with people around me and I would like to know what you all think.
I know many are filled with mixed emotion, some are just angry, some are still so hurt, some are still disbelieving, some are rallying around him still, others are lost in grief.
I guess I am wondering about the whole heartbeat overall of how this has affected everyone. I am still concerned for those of you that feel you will "never step foot in a church again"...are there any of you that still feel this way? If so, I want you to understand that God still has a plan for your life. I want you to hear that over and over again until it takes root in your heart.
Are there any of you who think you will never get over the pain? The disappointment? The shock?
How about the people that have been reading this blog and others and think that "see this is what those churches are like" and therefore you stay away? This maybe has had a negative affect on you? We want to give you a better message. God can do amazing things despite the frailty and sins of all of us. He loves us where we are, no requirements to come to HIm perfect and without problems. In fact, He delights in making sense of our problems and helping us through them.

To those of you that have been faithfully praying, don't stop now, keep lifting everyone up. There are so many hurts left to be healed. Some people are really just beginning to deal with this. Some have held out until the very end hoping he was innocent. Now they are allowing themselves to see it and deal with it for the first time. Keep praying. Obviously the enemy would love to get in there now and really work on people's hearts. Pray against bitterness and anger - pray that God heals hearts and help people to keep their eyes on Him. It is certainly understandable to feel angry with Gilyard and even those that allowed him to have authority, but please don't turn that anger against God.

Darrell stated in an article last week: “I stood in court today recognizing that I made serious mistakes and that I disappointed a great number of people,” Gilyard said. “It is my intention when this is all over to make it up to everyone as best I can.”

Well, we hope that he will really recognize this and that he will have some remorse - the important part however is for him to repent and come clean with God. You see, in his message he is still talking about "the people". He is talking about making it up to everyone as best he can. I am not sure that any of this can be "made up", not by a man (human) anyway.

But God can! God can make something beautiful out of ALL of this! Even for Darrell. But it will be God doing it and only God should get any credit for it.

"The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18 NIV

Share your feelings...I want to pray for you, and so do many others.

God is good

2009-05-23T10:13:00.002-04:00

But you O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. (vs. 5)

I am reminded today of how good God is. No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, he has paved the way and He never abandons us. Even in sin, He provides a way of escape - but He leaves that choice to us.

For you were once in darkness, but now you are light in the Lord...have nothing to do with fruitless deeds of dakness, but rather expose them...it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible...be careful how youlive-not as unwise, but as wise... Ephesians 5:8-15. (Also read Eph. 4:18-19)

We also have the chance to forgive, we learn from Paul that "what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel..." Phil. 1:12) His suffering and imprisonment were a huge trial for him, but he saw it as an opportunity. He forgave his captors and rejoiced even in suffering. Phil. 4:4

Extending Grace - A powerful message

2009-05-21T23:08:00.005-04:00

What a powerful message delivered today by the mother of one of the victims. I watched in amazement as she faced the man that she at one time respected and admired, and looked to for spiritual leadership – the same man that has been responsible for the pain, violation and destruction within her family and specifically to her daughter.

You would think that her message to him would be of anger and possibly asking “how could you?” Instead, she showed a true testimony to the world of what we are taught Biblically to do, to love our enemies and those that persecute us. I am blessed just to have been there to see this exchange, to see grace and mercy extended in the midst of much pain. Here are some of her words:

She began her message with one simple truth; the Bible tells us that If we are to confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. However she pointed out one of the most overlooked points of that verse – IF – She proceeded to remind Darrell Gilyard that confessing sins, admitting failure, is exactly what prisoners of pride refuse to do.

And then Phil. 3:14 states “I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me.” She reads this to him and then asks, “Is this what God called you to do as you reached for the goal? God began a good work in you and I am sure He will complete it until it is finished according to Philippians 1:6”

At this point in the courtroom, it was silent, everyone was listening. I looked at Judge Weatherby and he was leaning forward a bit with his chin resting on his hand, listening. Hank Coxe had to have felt uncomfortable, he kept glancing over at her and then to Darrell. Darrell was still, head down, hands clasped behind his back. A surreal moment as this former parishioner is preaching to her former Pastor.

She goes on to tell him that “God uses Satan to fortify His church, even when Satan appears to win, ‘Darrell’, he loses.” And that “Confession does not create a relationship with God, it nourishes it.” She tells him that though he did not lose his position with God, he has lost his peace with God.

Isn’t that so true? God never stops loving us, but we feel a loss because we are separated due to our lack of repentance of sin.

Darrell was certainly an incredible speaker and knew God’s word, how odd and uncomfortable it had to be for him to hear this. She reminds him that he, as the Shepard abused her daughter inside of the Shepard’s office. Among other things she also reminds him that lives have been destroyed and that he will have to give an account for this.

Her final message is so amazing it is God talking through a wounded person right in the midst of tragedy…she says “Just know God loves us and wants the best for us. I will pray for you as always that at some point you get right with God. You are forgiven by me. I have no malice in my heart as we all have sinned and woe is the man or woman that does not confess and turn from their wicked ways.”

Hallelujah! Praise be to Jesus! To Him is all of the glory and honor and praise! Ministering to the man that hurt her daughter, the same man that was supposed to minister to her.

A dear friend called me tonight to pray with me, she was also abused at the hands of a minister as a young girl. We have talked and shared our stories before and one thing we are both aware of and thankful for is our stories. We have shared before that our stories have made us who we are today. They are testimonies of God’s power, His love, His grace and His mercy. He has taught us so much about forgiveness and trust, though by worldly standards we should be bitter, unforgiving and unable to trust. It is the contrary; God has allowed great strength, trust and healing to come from tragedy and heartache.
On this note, as we were talking she shared this thought with me and it touched me deeply and I feel is so appropriate to end on. I said in an interview today that it is time to lay down the label of “victim” and replace it with “overcomer”, I want you to know that you do not have to let his crimes against you define who you are, but it can define Who God is.
My sweet friend shared that out of the dark places in our lives, He will help us to sift through and “mine” through the rubble and discover riches that we wouldn’t have otherwise. No matter how devastating the storm, the aftermath can look so bleak and you are tempted to carry around this “victim” armor, lay it down and dig for the treasures that God will bring from it. They are there, waiting to be discovered.

You are no longer silenced

2009-05-21T08:18:00.013-04:00

To all of the women in Texas that were told you didn't have enough witnesses;

To all the girls across the U.S. that were abused by Gilyard;

To the women and girls that didn't come forward here in Jacksonville and especially for the brave ones that did;

THIS WAS YOUR DAY - You have been heard!

Everyone is listening, your story is being validated. You are no longer silenced!

It was a powerful day in the courtroom! I am in awe at the strength and message delivered by the mother of one of the victims. It was such a powerful, bold, stern but loving message.
Darrell Gilyard had to stand there at the podium and listen first to the Judge read out his crimes and the penalties, then hear the mother of a victim describe the pain to her family and all of the lives his sin has touched.

But, how sad it was to sit there and watch a man with such gifts, such potential, hang his head as he received the sentence for crimes that he hoped no one would ever know of. The same crimes he has intimidated people from reporting, the ones he has tried to convince others did not happen, the ones he himself has adamantly denied - until now.

Sin is so powerful and once it takes root, it does not let go. If you allow it authority in your life, you eventually lose yourself to it, you become ill, sick in sin. As the mother pointed out today, God always plans a way of escape, she asked him why he did not take it. I honestly think he had gotten away with it all for so long, he was no longer afraid of getting caught. By statements made to many, he didn't seem to be afraid of even the Almighty God - what a scary place to be. I look at his face in the above picture and I do not gloat, I do not feel anger, I feel absolute pity. I hope that he finds in his heart some remorse, from what I am being told that hasn't appeared to be the case yet, but I hope it comes.

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/crime/2009-05-21/story/former_jacksonville_pastor_guilty_in_sex_case

http://www.news4jax.com/news/19526773/detail.html

http://http//www.actionnewsjax.com/content/actionbreaking/story/Pastor-pleads-guilty-to-molestation-charges/9ZmIQFkDeUOkaiQcGC8lhA.cspx

Plea Deal Has Been made

2009-05-16T21:05:00.012-04:00

Darrell L. Gilyard will face some earthly consequences this time. It is official, a plea agreement has been reached and signed.
The deal is 3 years incarceration and then 3 years probation.
He will be listed as a sexual predator, so this label will follow him

There were several plea agreements offered over the last weeks, all for a lighter sentence, of course, and they were rejected by the SA. This one insures that he will go to a State facility vs. county jail.

From what I am told, he plead guilty to the charges against him and did not deny any of them.

I also asked if he will have forced counseling - I am told that he will have a psychological evaluation upon entering and then be forced to maintain counseling thereafter.

The sentencing will take place on Thursday this week. He is being told to expect a packed courtroom and a media circus.

Thank you ALL for following this story and for ALL of the tips, leads, stories/testimonies, names, addresses, phone numbers, prayers and vigilance that have been put into this through the blog. Your pursuit of justice and cries for help have made a difference! I am so thankful and so proud of many of you brave warriors. Some of you may not have found the courage to tell your story or give a tip - but you can rejoice now in the fact that it will be just a little bit harder for him to violate the next person, and you can now begin the journey needed to heal.

To the many victims - those listed in the criminal charges and those that are suffering in silence. This is just one step, keep walking. Justice does not heal the wounds, but sometimes it can make it hurt just a little less. But you need help dealing with the pain and allowing yourself to fully heal and trust again. Please reach out.

To those of you that have believed in his innocence, I pray for you now as you realize all of the ways you may have helped him continue in this destructive course. I pray that you will admit your fault and ask the Father (and anyone else involved) for forgiveness and mercy.

To the church members (in Palatka) that have recently welcomed him into your congregation, as you are shocked and possibly angry that he was allowed access to your loved ones, I pray as you consider your leadership and how things are dealt with from this moment on. If you feel your daughters or wives were exposed to him during his time at your church, get help! Do not remain silent and in shame. That is where the devil uses his sin to destroy. Shame is a form of bondage and can destroy you. Reach out for help.

I want everyone to know, before the nasty comments come in, I am NOT rejoicing or laughing about the downfall of this man - this is not a laughing matter for me, it is VERY sad and disgusting. Though I feel he deserves this punishment/consequence it has come at a high price for many others. I have pursued this because he has YET to have any mercy or shame for his actions - he was still in the mindset to keep going. If a sentence would not have come, I am confident that there would be more victims. Over the next 30 months (more or less) while he is behind bars, there will be safety from this one predator.

Darrell L. Gilyard, if you are reading this, please know that I am strong because what you meant for evil against me, God meant for good. He has been my rock and my fortress, whom shall I fear? When I lie down and sleep, I will meditate on HIM in the nightwatch - and praise Him for all the good He has done!! To God be the glory!

Victims/survivors, won't you join me in praises to the King of Kings? He alone is worthy to be praised!

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God

2009-05-04T12:54:00.003-04:00

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

This verse has been running through my mind all day today, so I am sharing it here. It must have a purpose. Things can get out of hand so quickly, and we all need to be reminded of God's word vs. our own nature. Myself included, believe me!

Please read the rest of Micah 6: 9-16 and then chapter 7 as well.

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression...You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. You will be true to Jacob and show mercy to Abraham, as you pledged an oath to our fathers in days long ago." (7:18-20)

Obviously in the rest of the scriptures it talks of some of the consequences of sin. So, this does not mean we have to overlook sin, God does want it dealt with, but there are requirements in how that is handled by us. To act JUSTLY (do what's right) and to love mercy (extend grace and pray for changes within the heart, which leads to repentance) and finally to walk humbly with our God (letting Him lead; doing nothing that would shame Him or that you wouldn't do if you were physically in His presence). A great and timely lesson.

Woman settles lawsuit against Jacksonville pastor, church

2009-04-29T23:20:00.002-04:00

A woman who claimed Jacksonville pastor Darrell Gilyard sexually assaulted and impregnated her has settled her lawsuit against him and Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church.But her paternity case against Gilyard, which he is challenging, continues. He has never been charged with assaulting the woman. An unrelated felony case that accuses
Gilyard, 47, of three lewd and lascivious acts with a teenager is scheduled for trial next month.Court documents show the civil lawsuit was settled in mediation last week. Terms are confidential.Kesha Emerson initially accused Gilyard of using a 2004 counseling session after her husband died to convince her she needed to have sex with him to hasten her healing.
Her lawsuit accused Shiloh of negligence in hiring, supervising and retaining Gilyard as pastor.Emerson amended the complaint last month to say that when she rejected Gilyard’s advances he pushed her to the floor and sexually assaulted her. When she later discovered she was pregnant, she said Gilyard persuaded her that only by continuing to have sex with him would she receive support, the amended lawsuit says.Emerson’s attorney, Barry Bobek, said at the time he hadn’t fully interviewed his client before filing the first lawsuit. He declined comment Wednesday; lawyers for the church and Gilyard didn’t return phone calls.Emerson’s paternity suit seeks child support, medical and life insurance from Gilyard for a 3-year-old girl. Gilyard filed a response denying a sexual relationship with Emerson.Gilyard was arrested last year after the mother of a teenage parishioner told police she found obscene text messages from him on her daughter’s cell phone. His criminal trial is scheduled May 26. Gilyard, a Palatka native, rose to prominence in his 20s, pastoring one of the nation’s 10 fastest-growing churches. He left that church, Victory Baptist in Texas, amid accusations of sexual impropriety and came to Shiloh in 1993.The West Beaver Street church quietly settled a 1996 sexual misconduct claim involving Gilyard for $300,000.

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/2009-04-29/story/woman_settles_lawsuit_against_jacksonville_pastor_church

A call to awareness today by SNAP

2009-04-28T00:37:00.005-04:00

There was a news conference held today by David Cohessey of the SNAP organization. I was invited to attend and take part. Channel 4 news covered the story. http://www.news4jax.com/news/19314837/detail.html#video

I did not know what to expect as I was just notified yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the depth of compassion that David has for victims. Just before the conference, he explained his usual process and what to expect. He was very easy to talk to and put my mind at ease immediately. David travels all over the country working with those abused by Pastors/clergy and I can't help but to think how sad that this provides a full time job. We would like to think that this is very isolated and uncommon, but the reality is that it has become a serious problem.

David is concerned not so much with justice, as he has learned that this rarely happens here on earth, but that there is some added prevention through awareness. He is also very heart broken over every life touched by this type of abuse, he was once a victim himself. He fully understands the entire painful process and can identify with every story, as different as they may be. He became teary eyed over and over again as we discussed things following the interview. Not to say that he is in any way weak for this emotion, I believe it shows so much humanity and Christ likeness to be compassionate about others. We only know of some of the stories and only if they become public, but David along with Christa Brown (among others) carry this burden in their souls, as they face hundreds (maybe more) of these victims each year.

One thing that rings true - there are many, many more victims (of Darrell and others) that are still trapped in their own bondage of secrecy. There are so many different individual reasons for this secrecy, but the common theme is pain and fear. This fear can be crippling and the pain overwhelming. Even if these efforts do not result in some consequence for Darrell, we have still created awareness, we may have kept one person from being victimized and we may have helped someone break the bondage of silence which ultimately leads to healing.

Let's applaud SNAP's efforts and their personal sacrifices while raising awareness and pursuing safety for all of us within churches. And I applaud many of you that have participated in helping to strengthen this case by bringing forth information that will ultimately make it tougher for Darrell to victimize again. Thank you.

2009-04-25T16:11:00.008-04:00

Here is the latest story regarding this blog and the investigation:

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/2009-04-25/story/woman_accepts_her_blogs_role_in_church_investigation

The Times Union article is edited and rewritten a few times before going out, so there are other things that I said that did not make it into the final article and may come out at another time. A few of those things I would like to address here:

1) One thing I stated is that I am still not in full agreement that there was ANY need to "look at" or "verify" my blog. As far as I know, they only verified ownership with the subpoena (though I will always wonder). IF I find out during this process that more than this was done, then I will deal with that appropriately. Right now I can only go by what I am told and the facts that I have looked into. The reason I spoke out and also posted previously is that I do not feel Detective Hinson did more than this, I have a reason for believing that (reasons that I cannot share at this time).
The second reason is that I feel that Detective Hinson was "being thrown under a bus" and the others involved at the church were apparently not going to stand up for him. There are other facts that play into this decision and I feel that FBC has some explaining to do. It was the "pass the buck" scenario from the church admin. all the way from the top - "I didn't have anything to do with this, it was him." then that person says "No it was actually that guy over there" and eventually the trail went all the way down to resting on Hinson's shoulders and that is NOT the truth. He should not lose his job or credibility, face public rage, internal affairs investigation etc. if there is more to the story, don't you agree? I do not feel he abused his power or did favors. I know a few details about this situation and I feel it was his job to investigate based on what he was given, he did not act alone. That is why I did my own research and made my own decision. I could be wrong, but I would rather be wrong after a knowledgeable decision than a hasty one made on emotion.

2) Another thing that wasn't printed in the article is that for the last month I have been on my own "fact finding mission" and have talked to many different people, compared different people's version of the events and statements, talked to Deacon's (hearing FBC side of things), hearing Tom's version of events along with his evidence of things, attempted to meet with Pastor Brunson, John Blount and any others they deemed relevant, talked with my family, evaluated the impact of my involvement, lost sleep, prayed, laid out all of the facts that I learned. I have been very frustrated and bothered by it all, and my spirit is restless about it all. I have tried to make decisions based on what I feel God would have me do vs. how I feel (because I was really angry about this) and not wanting to add fuel to an out of control fire. I feel that the full truth has not yet come out, but I am confident that it will. And I am praying for that to happen as well. I want to know the truth and it is very hard to find it right now because everyone is trying to cover for themselves.

One thing I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that this was not handled correctly - period! Not humanly right, but definitely not spiritually!
God's word is alive and active, it is relevant and applicable to everyday life - it is not only applicable to those we want it to apply to, but for the other side as well. We cannot use scriptures against Tom and his blog, cursing what he is doing and then not do the same for the reaction of the church, the Pastor, the Discipline committee, the Deacons, the police and S.A. office. You cannot single only one person out, the Bible applies to all other than the fact that the State (law enforcement) is not bound by God's law. The church brought the State and law enforcement into this by asking for an investigation, asking for information and receiving it (Tom's name), asking for a tespass warning and issuing it by men at the church and then officially by law enforcement, then the final blow, calling Tom names in the public newspaper. Where is the line drawn that says, "Tom did this and it's wrong in our eyes, but anything that happens from this point is just his punishment and our hands are washed clean..." Who decides that ? Are we now judge and jury? What in the world happened to the rest of the scriptures?

"A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel." Prov. 15:18 "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply and how good is a timely word." (vs.23) "He who listens to a life giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor. (vs. 31-32)
"The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: they will not go unpunished. Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil. When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him. Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice." (16:5-8)

Many of you want to be angry with Tom Rich for blogging in the first place. Well, go ahead and be angry, but sin not. That is Biblical! All day long you can blame this on Tom, but you will be wrong. Pastor Brunson has many critics, all Pastors do, should he handle it differently than a regular man? Yes, because he has a higher calling and role. He has to handle it with grace and humility and he really should meet with the person at least once before deciding what needs to be done from there. If it is an unreasonable person and he sees no way of reconciling the differences, then certainly tougher choices need to be made, in love, with grace and humility. But if it all comes down to agreeing to disagree and asking the person to handle things differently, then he is showing love and grace and humility. And in the best case scenario the persons fears, problems or qualms are settled in this meeting and restoration happens. No matter the outcome, the Pastor would have tried. Tom could have had his questions answered, his fears or qualms resolved and then the blog would be shut down. Or he may have met with him and discovered that he felt he still needed to keep blogging, but the Pastor's accountability would be covered. The Pastor has to answer for how he handles things just as Tom does. Obviously, we are all accountable as well.

We all are fallible and make mistakes and now there is this mess. The church should have had a meeting with Tom, it shouldn't have been only granted based in their rules and regulations being agreed to (that isn't fair) it should have been gracious, loving and available. If there was a threat on the church or Pastor, then I would be saying something different. The only threat was Tom's words and opinions and that is a constitutional right. We cannot use a separate set of rules for the church and then bring in the government (police and SA) but then say "separation of church and state" it is one or the other. We want separation of church and state for our own religious freedom - if the church isn't careful, we will have more situations like this one and lawsuits and then eventually the gov't. will intercede, little crossovers like this can lead to many things that are not in the churches best interest.

3) With that being said, I do not believe that Toms's name should have been released to the church under these circumstances. There was not enough concern gained during the "investigation" to keep it open, meaning actual criminal behavior, so there was no reason to "warn the church" as the Sheriff states. If they linked Tom to some threatening email, or stalking the Pastors wife, then certainly I can understand where they would need to be aware and warn "watch out for John Doe and call if you see him around" type of thing. But this is not the case! Their own report says such. If this is JSO's usual policy, then it needs to be re evaluated based on this case. After all, look what was done after identifying him to the church. Isn't this exactly why he blogged anonymously in the first place? What if the church didn't agree with me blogging about the crimes of Gilyard? Could they go to the JSO and tell them that things are happening to them and I might be to blame? Would that be reason to investigate me?

Do we really need to involve the authorities on a hunch? Or worse, an emotional decision based on our dislike of someone? After all, the blog was just an opinion, no direct threats, no reason to allege he may be stalking, the stalking supposedly happened long ago anyway, why the sudden concern? It just isn't right. But even if they were fearful, there are certainly many people that should have been on the radar other than just Tom Rich, myself and the BBC.

Unfortunately, there may be further consequences for not doing things God's way.

JSO Explains Subpoena

2009-04-22T15:35:00.004-04:00

I finally have enough facts that give me peace about making a statement. The current news situation here in Jacksonville concerning another blogger, http://fbcjaxwatchdog.blogspot.com/, was of great concern to many of you, as well as myself. I have received some of your concerns and questions regarding our privacy being violated.

For those of you that are not aware of this situation, the watchdog blog is concerning First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, the blogger has been anonymous since he started the blog in August of 2007 and posts about concerns he has within the new administration of his church. I do not attend this church and have not been involved with the blog, however, I did grow up in this church and my parents and many friends are still active members. Another reason I have not commented on the blog. However, watchdog took an interest in the Gilyard situation and has been a poster here, as well as an encourager during my blog. He and his wife have now also become our friends.

First Baptist Church went to a Detective in the Fall of last year citing concerns about the blogger, filed a criminal report stating "an Internet incident with possible criminal overtones"; an investigation was opened on September 29th, 2008. My direct issue is that during this investigation my blog was also "looked into" and a subpoena was requested and subsequently granted. I did not learn of this until recently, early March, I was not notified prior to this. I was shocked, then outraged, then worried about the possible violation of many of you (especially victims and anonymous posters). I made an immediate post on the watchdog blog (March 18th comment) and I then checked my anger and decided to get all of the facts together before stating anything further.

Since this time, I have spoken with Deacon's from First Baptist, I have heard their "side" of the story, I have also spoken with others inside and outside of FBC, I have requested a meeting with Pastor Brunson and those involved (didn't happen), I have spoken with the JSO detectives and those involved, I have reviewed all information from all sources and questioned those things that did not make sense to me, of course I have prayed about it as well. I mapped it all out, verified questionable information, made a timeline....I have extensively researched and done my homework before presenting a response.

Below is what I have learned, verified, and now believe to be the truth as best as I can present it. I certainly could still be wrong and more facts will come I am sure.

I have been assured and also believe that Detective Hinson only looked at my blog from the perspective of ownership and to verify that I was not the watchdog or an alias, that we were not conspiring together in some way - thus he looked at the information on my profile and my IP address and then verified that information with Google/Comcast. Once that was confirmed, I was set aside and no further information was requested or gained. He also promptly closed the investigation into the watchdog after realizing there was nothing criminal or any direct threat to the church. This is what I have been assured of and I have asked some tough questions and also made some accusations regarding my fears and concerns. I have asked extensive questions over the course of this last week and all questions have been answered and some more than once, as I re-questioned some things to clarify. I have not felt they withheld anything and I am shocked that they were as open as they have been, they certainly could have told me they "couldn't comment" and I would have just had to deal with it.

Detective Hinson, in my mind, may have had no choice but to look into this case and I feel he did his job, whether or not the church provided him with credible "concerns/evidence" is another matter and will all come out in the end. I just do not want my readers to be concerned or fearful, and I do not want the finger to be pointed at Detective Hinson as I feel that blame would be inappropriate knowing all that I now know. Trust me, the truth will all come out, much like the Gilyard case, just wait and see.

This statement was released to me today by Sheriff Rutherford:

Thursday, April 22, 2009

I would like to clarify some information that has been reported about a recent Intelligence investigation conducted by the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, regarding perceived threats against a local religious congregation.

* Our agency is responsible for investigating any perceived threats and possible criminal activity that is reported to us by a citizen. Our detectives routinely share what they learn in the course of the investigation with the victim or complainant.
* Suspects would not be made aware of this information, if it is gathered in an effort to determine if a threshold of criminality exists and none is found. In this case, the case was closed 11/13/08 with no further action by JSO warranted when no criminal conduct or significant threat to the church was determined to exist.
* In this case, the information about suspicious behavior directed at Pastor Mac Brunson and his home and family was provided to a detective whose normal duty assignment with the JSO is to investigate possible threats against Jacksonville’s religious institutions. He is a member of our Intelligence Unit. He would have investigated this situation had the complaint come from those affiliated with a Mosque, a Synagogue, or any religious organization. This is Detective Hinson’s job as the intelligence point person for the religious community, and other designated critical infrastructure sites in Jacksonville.
* All our religious institutions are a major part of Jacksonville’s critical infrastructure and we remain vigilant in investigating all perceived threats and security issues associated with those institutions. In light of recent violent incidents that have occurred in churches around the country, I think our vigilance is necessary and most appropriate to ensure public safety.
Had another officer received a similar threat or tip or raised a similar concern, Detective Hinson would have ultimately been the officer assigned to investigate. I have no issue with his investigation and there is no conflict of interest because he is affiliated with that particular congregation.
* The fact that the medium used to communicate the messages being investigated was the internet is irrelevant. Investigations are conducted into the sources of anonymous letters, phone calls, and in this day and age websites and emails, any time it is deemed appropriate for public safety. We then look at the contents and sources of internet information regularly, as part of our investigations.
* Ms. Croft’s blog was initially reviewed as a preliminary investigative lead due to the fact that the Croft’s blog site was listed on the fbcwatchdog web site and was unknown to the investigator. Once the blog ownership information was verified by the internet provider and matched the information listed on Ms. Croft’s blog site, Detective Hinson determined that there was no investigative value in Ms. Croft’s blog site.

I hope this information helps clarify for citizens that this was not about “outing” a blogger, but instead was about proactively addressing public safety.

John H. Rutherford, Sheriff
Jacksonville, FL

Please rest assured that we can resume our business and I will diligently seek justice.

Back to the business at hand. Darrell Gilyard's day in court is coming fast, we will cover every bit of the story and keep everyone posted. We are not done yet.

Humility Comes Before Honor

2009-04-09T22:10:00.015-04:00

Things are beginning to heat up for the Gilyard trial. There may be another delay or two, but we are closer now. Gilyard still thinks he can get off on a lesser charge, I speculate that he still does not see the full picture of what he has done. However, the State, Judge Weatherby and the Lord will decide on the gravity of his sins against his victims and the earthly price he will pay.
On a better note, please read the scriptures below, as they are reminders of how things should be amongst us and also of the wonders of the Savior that we serve.

Bless you all, Happy Easter!!!
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled Himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in Heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phillipians 2:1-11 NIV

"The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor."
Proverbs 15:33 NIV

Jacksonville church was aware of pastor's sexual misconduct, insurer claims

2009-03-19T22:42:00.004-04:00

As a good friend of mine recently stated, "We shouldn't be shocked or surprised by anything that is happening within our churches, God said it in His word. Few people take the time to read that part."
The word teaches us to put on "the whole armour of God" It teaches us to view the Word as "alive and active", "sharper than a two edged sword". Somehow, we forget that it is a roadmap to be used and applied daily. Whether this is due to watered down preaching of the Word or because we, as Christians, are not taking the time to read it. Some only read what our Pastors might preach from on Sunday's. Yet we are told to seek it and know it for ourselves. God may want us to know more than just what is spoon fed to us on Sunday. To grow and mature in our walk and therefore our faith. Then we cannot be shaken.

Psalm 119:160 says that "all His words are true, all His laws are right and they will endure forever". This means that we are to listen to and heed His warnings. We should not follow man, but align everything said with scriptures and only then know if it is of God. This includes our Pastors. If they are not living by the Word they preach, if they are doing things contrary to the Word in any way - do not assume they are leading you in the right direction just because they are titled "Pastor". And we certainly should not enable them in their behavior and sin. Seems obvious doesn't it? Prov. 16:17 and 19 "The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way, guards his life...Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud." We will never benefit from following anyone that is not first following Christ.

There are MANY wonderful, Godly, upstanding Pastors in our churches. Make no mistake in assuming that I am trying to bash or undermine Pastor's or their authority. I am simply saying that somehow in the church we assume that no Pastor should be questioned because that means you question God. This is absolutely false. Any good, God fearing Pastor would agree.

Prov.15:33 says, "The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor." If a Pastor is above being questioned, or worse, sets up the church in a way that keeps Him from being held accountable, watch out. If you follow him and submit to doing things though the Holy Spirit convicts you, then you better repent fast and change your course. Because "the eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good". If you stand up for righteousness in the face of evil, in the right way of course, then you are covered and protected by the Lord. (Psalm 91)
Psalm 97:10-11 "Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of His faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart."

Rest assured, the men at Shiloh and other churches that have followed a man and not God, are going to pay a high price. I wonder if they ever weighed what was being asked of them against scriptures? Do we? I know there are times when I act or react out of selfish nature instead of according to the Word. When this happens, the second it happens, I have moved myself out from under His umbrella of protection. I have opened the door for the enemy. I can repent and step back under His grace, but there may still be consequences. With all of that being said, just in case you missed it, see the post below. Posted by one of our faithful readers, keeping us informed. Thank you.

Article in 3/13/09 Times Union:Jacksonville church was aware of pastor's sexual misconduct, insurer claims Safeco...
http://jacksonville.com/news/metro/2009-03-13/story/insurer_claims_church_aware_of_misconduct

New Year - New State Attorney

2009-01-16T12:23:00.004-05:00

We now are in a new year and also have a new staff in the State Attorney's Office. We now have in office SA Angela Corey. Let's see what pans out legally for Darrell Gilyard for 2009.
Maybe, just maybe there will be no victims in 2009, wouldn't that be something to cheer about? Sadly, I am afraid this won't be the case, as I am told by many close to him, he is just as arrogant as ever and still not an ounce repentant. Keep praying, God is still in the miracle working business.
Maybe this will be the year where he finds earthly punishment and consequences. We know he will have eternal ones. We will see what this year holds and keep praying for protection for the innocent ones around him.
Thank you for your continued reading and support of this blog, we are all in this together.

Paternity Suit and still Preaching

2008-10-16T09:33:00.009-04:00

It is time to sound the alarms once again. As many of you know, Darrell Gilyard is currently facing his first public Paternity suit, see https://showcase.duvalclerk.com/SearchForCases.aspx A brave woman has come forward to seek damages against him. There are many others and maybe they will gain courage to do the same. These are his children, they deserve to be provided for. It is time he has to answer for some of these lives he has left in ruins. These precious children deserve so much more than this.

In the meantime, he is resuming life as if nothing has happened. Continuing to preach and act as if he has done no wrong. Not once has he apologized to any of his victims. He has not acknowledged a need for help. He has not even taken time off to seek help. The sad thing is that he continues to find churches that welcome him into their pulpits.
The latest church is out of his hometown of Palatka, Fl. He is scheduled to preach their as early as this Sunday. Rumor has it that he may even be being looked at to eventually replace the current Pastor. Can you believe it? The current Pastor is Frederick Demps. The church is:

Calvary Missionary Baptist Church
Pastor Frederick Demps
322 N. 10th Street
386-328-4420

There is so much I would like to say here, but I truly feel my job is only to alert you and keep this in the spotlight. If it is left in the dark, as we know, evil is allowed to prosper there.
Lord, please help us keep evil out of our churches, protect the innocent. Holy Spirit, trouble the souls of those who are allowing this. Let them not be able to be settled in their Spirits. Lord, deliver this nation from this corruption that is taking over our churches and leaving in its wake tattered souls and lives. Church is your home Lord, we desire to protect your temple God. Let us glorify you in all of our ways and in our worship. We will not allow this evil to take over, we will fight the good fight. Give us wisdom, lead us and guide is in your precious and HOLY name, Jesus. Pray people, this is not over yet.

Records Have Been Released

2008-08-06T09:40:00.007-04:00

The records have now been released for the upcoming court case. This has been long awaited.
It will now be exposed as you will read in the article below.

Notice Hank Coxe statement in the article. Doesn't sound like he has much of a defense to offer up.
Hank Coxe, said: "We look forward to getting to the courtroom to see if this information can be reconciled with other information we have."
Sounds like the information speaks for itself to me.

Read the Florida Times Union article here:
http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/080608/met_314190357.shtml

Also the Local News reports here:
http://www.cbs47.com/content/topstories/story.aspx?content_id=2da1ac73-46f3-4ad0-a2b3-b779ea28c483

http://www.news4jax.com/news/17108071/detail.html

Breaking the Silence

2008-08-02T22:54:00.001-04:00

Anonymous said...
I am a deacon at Shiloh and I want to repent and confess. I am not the head deacon, so there was only so much I could do. We knew what DG was doing with the grown women. What surprised us was the children. The trouble at first was DG knew what some of the deacons were doing, so we couldn't talk. If DG had talked about what some of the leaders were doing, it could have destroyed some of their marriages. So we left him alone. Nobody ever thought it would come to this. He was bringing in the bacon. We left him alone. I would have been ostracized had I said anything. I am truly sorry to all the women who can't even acknowledge that they were victims. I am sorry for being silent when I should have spoken. I never thought so many people would get hurt.
July 22, 2008 9:20 AM

General Comments

2008-06-10T11:41:00.000-04:00

Upon reader requests, I am creating this spot for general comments and questions. A place that will remain at the top for those of you wishing to leave comments in a fresh place sure to be viewed.

Research - A chance to make a difference

2008-06-03T17:51:00.007-04:00

One of the objectives of this site is to draw awareness and find a way to make changes to this problem attacking the church today. It is a much larger problem than many of us are aware of.

Diana Garland Ph.D. is the Dean of Baylor School of Social Work. Diana has recently been given a grant to further study this problem and find ways to implement changes and train churches in this matter. She needs help and also our prayers. Whenever you are attempting to better the church for the Kingdom, you are also going to be under attack spiritually and will need prayer warriors covering you.

I asked Diana if I could make a post here advertising her research and the need for help. In a brief summary, this is what she needs:

"The research focuses on persons victimized as adults—men and women. I am seeking survivors whose victimization ended in the past two years. I also am interested in congregational leaders who were affected by CSA in a congregation where they were serving. And I want to interview perpetrators. If you have contacts like that, I would welcome them. I am attaching the press release about the project, if you want to post it. Many thanks! Diana"

This is the full press release:

April 29, 2008

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Clergy Sexual Abuse Research of Diana Garland Awarded $200,000 by Ford Foundation

When Anne Beiler lost her 18-month-old daughter in an accidental death, her trusted pastor encouraged her to come to him for counseling. Desperate and grieving, she did, only to have him involve her in a sexual relationship. *
“Their relationship was not an affair,” says Diana Garland, dean of the Baylor University School of Social Work. “He abused his power. She was a church member already in crisis who sought the care of her religious leader.”
Garland has received a $200,000 grant from the Ford Foundation to conduct the first national research on clergy sexual abuse. The project will develop a strategy for preventing clergy sexual abuse based on public education and the development of community and congregational strategies that will involve institutional policies and practices.
“Our faith communities have been dismayed to learn that trusted spiritual leaders have used their roles to abuse children and that others covered up the abuse and thus allowed it to continue,” said Garland, noted social scientist and author of the award-winning Family Ministry (InterVarsity Press, 1999), Sacred Stories of Ordinary Families (Jossey-Bass, 2003)and co-author of Flawed Families of the Bible (Brazos Press, 2007).
“This project intends to shed light on the problem of spiritual leaders who abuse their power with adults and how that abuse can be prevented. The goal is to strengthen congregations with protective policies and structures that take human vulnerabilities seriously,” she said.
The immediate goals of the project are to determine the prevalence of clergy sexual abuse of adults; to teach religious leaders, congregants and the general public that sexual activity between a religious leader and a congregant cannot be considered consensual; to communicate to survivors and their families that they are not alone and that they deserve support and professional care; to provide promising policy and prevention strategies; and to communicate that the church can respond to ethical violations with compassionate care for the vulnerable as its major focus instead of institutional self protection.
“Because of the spiritual power of the clergy role, this form of abuse has the potential for even greater devastation of victims and communities than abuse of power in employment or educational settings,” said Marie Fortune, Faith Trust Institute and an expert in the field of clergy sexual abuse. Clinical reports indicate high rates of post-traumatic stress disorder, other anxiety disorders, depression, physical illness and suicide.
Questions for Garland’s study are included in the General Social Survey 2008, one of the most rigorous and respected surveys in existence. The GSS is conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago every two years. It is the only full-probability, personal-interview survey designed to monitor social characteristics and attitudes in the United States.
The total sample size of the GSS will be approximately 3,500 with a representative sample of English- and Spanish-speaking adults in the nation. Complete anonymity of respondents is guaranteed. Data from the survey will be delivered in January 2009. Research consultants for the project include Mark Chaves of Duke University and an advisory committee.
Garland will further interview members of at least 30 Christian and Jewish congregations directly affected by clergy sexual abuse and at least 12 individuals with first-hand knowledge of such abuse.
“We anticipate, based on case studies and anecdotal reports, that the opportunity to contribute to a study on this topic will be healing and empowering for survivors and their families and congregations,” Garland said.
“Every attempt will be made to give them opportunity to tell their story in ways in which they feel comfortable and that their courage in participating in this project is respected,” she said.
The Ford Foundation, chartered in 1936, is committed to strengthening democratic values, reducing poverty and injustice, promoting international cooperation and advancing human achievement. Annually, it receives some 40,000 proposals and awards 2,000 grants. The foundation has distributed more than $15 billion worldwide. For more information, visit http://www.fordfound.org/.
Garland previously had received $31,000 combined funding for this project from the Baptist General Convention of Texas and the JES Edwards Foundation of Fort Worth, Texas.

* Twist of faith: The story of Anne Beiler, founder of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2008.
END

Contact: Diana Garland, Dean, Baylor School of Social Work

254-710-6223 Diana_Garland@baylor.edu

God bless you and your efforts, Diana!

Still Fighting

2008-05-19T12:51:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to clarify and update something. I have been asked recently by several people if I am dropping out with regards to the Darrell Gilyard scandal, the answer is a most definite no. I have been side tracked with a busy household these last few weeks adjusting to having a new addition and caring for my 5 other children. However, I will see this through to the very end and am still very concerned about all of the potential victims still out there.

The very fact that he is already involved with another speaking position at another church is the very reason I originally titled this blog "Let's stop Pastor Darrell Gilyard together". I had already seen from past experience with him, how easily he moves from church to church even though he is caught in horrible acts. We need to make sure that we do not fall asleep to the wicked ways of man and stay alert to the things God would call us to do to prevent the plans of the devil to take hold, especially in our churches. When something is going on in our church that is not of God and does not line up with scripture, and we sit back and just allow it to take hold, we are becoming in a sense luke warm and bear some responsibility.

So, this is far from over. We are in the waiting stages before the trial. Not much is happening to speak of, but we need to still pray over the case and over any young women that would come into his path while he is free right now as well.

I do have a new email address as well if any of you feel the need to contact me for any reason, thefamilycircus8@gmail.com

Thank you prayer warriors and fellow warriors in this cause.

WE HAVE A BABY GIRL!

2008-04-13T14:55:00.002-04:00

We have a beautiful baby girl! She was born Monday and weighed 9 lbs. and 1 oz. She is such a joy! We arrived home on Wednesday. So I have been out of touch all week. I have not checked email or the blog, just caught up on all of your comments.

We have a problem however, our baby girl has jaundice and it is pretty severe, the numbers kept climbing and her body was not taking in nourishment. She was eating almost constantly and basically starving at the same time (as a result of the jaundice). She is on a bilirubin light bed 24 hours a day. We have a home health nurse that comes once a day to check her. Last night her numbers escalated quickly and they were considering hospitalizing her. We prayed over her all night and read scriptures (taped them to the walls around her and prayed them) Glory to God, when the nurse came this am her numbers had dropped some and they are giving her another day at home! Praise the Lord. We are on a very rigourous schedule of feedings and care, so I have been confined to my room with her and that is just where I want to be. :-)

We are praying that her body will be healed and whole very quickly as I only get to hold her for 10 minutes every 2 hours. Mommy is wanting to snuggle her more. My husband and other children do not even get the 10 minutes, so we are all ready for this to pass.

Please pray for our beautiful girl. Her name is Ella Sophia Croft. We are believing that God is working on her right now.

Thank you,
Tiffany

More Charges

2008-03-27T12:37:00.005-04:00

Darrell Gilyard was arrested last week on two more charges. He turned himself in again and posted his bond.

The arraignment hearing was yesterday March 27th at 9 a.m.
The two new charges are 1. lewd and lascivious with a minor 2.Lewd and lascivious molestation of a minor. If convicted on these charges he can recieve a sentence of 15 to 30 years.

He was verbally warned by the Judge to have no contact with any of the victims. Judge Weatherby actually told him he would be a fool to try.

The next scheduled court date was set for April 30th. - Pre trial Hearing.

CBS 47 video coverage
Fox 30 video coverage
Channel 4 News video coverage

Something to Pray For

2008-03-21T08:56:00.002-04:00

Please pray that the stall tactics by Hank Coxe will not prevail and will not be left unchecked. Many times attorneys stall a case hoping it will die down. Also in hopes that victims will lose faith and the courage to speak. They will do anything necessary to give themselves the upper hand in the case - especially when they know there is enough to be worried about, that there is a strong case against him.
We can pray against this as we know that our God is more than able to superceed all of those games.

Update

2008-03-18T11:24:00.004-04:00

Just to remind and update everyone. Tomorrow is the date for the Pre-Trial conference. It is set for 9 a.m. in Court room #5. I will update the sight tomorrow with the details as to what took place. More to come.
We are all patiently waiting. It is a long, slow process.

A Pledge to Help

2008-03-10T00:43:00.002-04:00

We have another Godly man willing to take a stand. I appreciate his leadership and help. We need more leaders like you Mr. Burleson. Read the post here: http://kerussocharis.blogspot.com/

Fire, Trials and Circumstance

2008-03-03T15:26:00.003-05:00

A sermon that I heard over the week end seems appropriate to this situation.
The story of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego- in short, they faced a King who did not allow them to worship the one true God. They decided to follow and worship God anyway and face whatever consequences may come. Eventually they were thrown into the fire, to be burned alive. They did not pray for God to keep this from happening, or even to deliver them from it, they praised God and accepted their circumstance.Through their faith and obviously God totally protecting them in the fire, the King acknowledged that their God must be the one true God and allowed them and all in the city to worship Him.
Many times, we may wonder why God allows the fire, or trial or circumstance. Why does He not just put an end to it with His power? Such as in this case with Gilyard, why has he been allowed to continue to hurt. We may not know what God is doing or what the outcome may be. But we are called to worship and praise Him even in the midst of the fire. Through this worship, He is allowed to really work and inhabit the praise of His people.
Just a reminder to all of us not to forget who is truly in charge and whose name will be glorified even in the midst of this trial. No matter how long it may take.
Isaiah 58:6 "...to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke."

Watch This Video

2008-02-28T10:01:00.010-05:00

This is the video from CBS47 News of Don Simpkins from Texas. People are beginning to talk. People from his past are stepping up to the plate to help us and I am so thankful for their bravery. Mr. Simpkins paid a high price for alerting people back in the 90's, and he is more than willing to do it again for the purpose of protecting women and girls in Gilyards future. He knows the depths of this man's corruption, he heard every nasty detail. He knows he is not going to stop. He knows this is what God would have him do and God will protect him!!

Thank you Mr. Simpkins and all of those standing behind you! Thank you for all of your help!

Click on the link below, the video will self load.
Gilyard's former Counselor Don Simkins of Texas breaks the silence

Today's Court Update

2008-02-26T16:06:00.004-05:00

Today in court, they requested a pre-trial conference for March 19th.

There were a couple of brave people there today that spoke with the news media. In their own words, they were shocked, sick and-dis heartened to hear the allegations against their Pastor. They came to seek out the truth for themselves.

It takes bravery to search for truth when it would be easier to step back and not face it. It took courage to share their opinions with the media as well.

This is what I wish for all people of Shiloh and any other church, search for the truth. You do need to know who your leadership is and ask the Holy Spirit for discernment in who you receive counsel from.
All churches need true men of charachter and Godliness. Sadly, we do need to know about their previous history and not just blindly follow. If many of you had known of Darrell's past problems, would you have chosen him as the leadership of your church? I know many of you would not have allowed your daugthters and wives to counsel alone with him had you been warned, some of you have told me this. I would have never been in the position I was in with him as a young person had I known of his previous issues. I blindly looked up to him and assumed he was the man of God I thought him to be. I was gravely let down.
That is why we are so shocked when we hear of these things, we have looked to this man for spiritual food and guidance, we trusted him, we prayed for him, we stood with him. Man can deceive, man can fall, but the Word of God still stands true. The Holy Spirit can guide us in discernment and also can give us uneasy feelings or warning signs, it is up to us to obey. I had warning signs and the Holy Spirit did stir some things, I pushed them aside and believed it was impossible for this leader to have less than Godly intentions towards me. That is why the scriptures teach us to keep our eyes on the Lord, not on man. He gives us guidelines for Godliness and charachter of our leaders, if they fall short of these things, we need to pray for them and we also need to take a step back and really pay attention.

I am not asking for you to believe me or any hear say, but please do open your minds and hearts to the Holy Spirit asking Him to lead you to truth.

General Comments

2008-02-21T21:48:00.003-05:00

Upon reader requests, I am creating this spot for general comments and questions. A place that will remain at the top for those of you wishing to leave comments in a fresh place sure to be viewed.

A Meeting For the Victims/Survivors

2008-02-20T17:17:00.002-05:00

I would like to extend an invitation to any of you (the victims) to come together and meet each other. There will be total privacy, total safety, and only victims will be present. We will keep the time, date and location private. I will explain more to you directly when you contact me via email.

The purpose will obviously be to have an outlet, a safe one, among people who have walked in your shoes. Only victims of this can truly understand the feelings you have, can relate to you, can cry with you, can encourage you, and finally can strengthen you. We can minister to each other and pray together and for divine restoration. The Lord surely wants us all to heal, and help each other constructively. He has great things for each of us.

All ages of girls or women affected by this man are welcome. Even if you are an adult woman who found yourself in a relationship with him and feel great shame, that was his plan. He hoped you would remain ashamed. Don’t let that keep you away. For those of you who are minors, your parents are welcome to be there with you. Obviously the parents of minors are victims as well as they place their innocent children in the hands of a trusted leader. However, I would like this to remain for victims only (for privacy reasons and to allow openness). Any concerns or questions you may have I will be glad to answer. Any suggestions as well.

My goal with this blog and with speaking out has always been two sided: One side is to put an end to this man’s abuse of women and girls, or atleast his ability to prey within the church from a position of power. Then, secondly to help any of his victims to find healing and put the shame behind them. To create a supportive network of survivors that can help each other heal and find strength to move beyond this.

Mainly, I would like to know how many of you are interested. Please send me an email and we will see where we go from there. Again, your information will be completely confidential. I will not use your name or email in any way even between other victims.

Can we make this happen?? Do you think it is something you would like to do??

How does CSA happen?

2008-02-19T22:53:00.001-05:00

This has been written by a very courageous woman who is an abuse survivor. She and her husband are working to not only inform people of this vast problem but also give a ray of hope to those attempting to heal from an abuse situation by a trusted Pastor. As a victim, you are sure to see yourself mirrored in the words below, I hope it helps to break the chains of shame and fear surrounding you. For those of you who may be family members of an abused person, or just someone interested in all of this, I hope that you find understanding and gain more compassion for those who suffer at the hands of a trusted spiritual leader.
You can write to the author and also read more at the blog link below:
http://www.sharonsrose.org/

How does CSA happen?

Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA) happens when a member of the clergy abuses his power and authority to prey upon a congregant to harm the congregant for self-gratification. In most cases, the victim is a child or an adult woman. There is usually more than one victim. Sex is used as a weapon in this act of violence. Regardless of the degree of physical violence, CSA is always a violent act.

CSA can involve a sudden sexual assault on an unsuspecting victim, but in most cases, CSA doesn’t happen “over night.” Usually, CSA happens over a long period of time “under the noses” of most or all in the congregation.

What does CSA look like?

Every case of CSA is different. However, there are similarities to many cases.

Child CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several psych categories: (1) Underlying severe psychiatric disorder; (2) Sociopathic/severe narcissistic per-sonality disorders; (3) Sexual impulse disorders; (4) Chronic neurotic and Isolated; (5) Situational offenders; and (6) Naive.1 The victim is a child or teenager under the age of 18. The victim is vulnerable simply because he or she is a child.

Adult CSA: The perpetrator falls into one of several categories as stated above. The victim is an adult (usually a woman), age 18 or older. The victim is not responsible for the sexual acts with the per-petrator. The victim is not an adulteress. It is not an affair. The victim is vulnerable for many reasons, including just being present in the congregation.

Most CSA cases go through phases. Each phase can last days, weeks, months, or even years.
_________
1Gary Richard Schoener. “Not As a Stranger: Evaluating Offenders.” Safe Church Advanced Training for Episcopalians: Lake Morey Resort, VT. Feb. 11, 2003. pp. 9,10.
What are the Phases of CSA?

While the particulars are different in each case, perpetrators usually go through two main phases in committing the act of clergy sexual abuse. After the act is committed, there are yet three more phases in store for the victim.

1. GROOMING PHASE 2. PHYSICAL PHASE
3. DISCOVERY PHASE 4. TELLING PHASE
5. RECOVERY PHASE

Phase 1: THE GROOMING PHASE

Part One, Grooming Phase:

The Perpetrator establishes and develops a relationship with the Victim.

Part Two, Grooming Phase:

The Perpetrator establishes and develops nonphysical Trust, Intimacy, and
Secrecy with the Victim.

Phase 2: THE PHYSICAL PHASE

Part One, Physical Phase:

The Perpetrator “innocently” touches the Victim in ways that seem appropriate (i.e., hugs, pats on shoulder, etc.). Trust, Intimacy and Secrecy are intensified. The Perpetrator is waiting for the right moment to attack.
The Victim has no idea the relationship
will become sexual.

Part Two, Physical Phase:

The Perpetrator sexually touches the Victim in ways that are NOT appropriate. The Victim is brainwashed to believe it is “okay.” The Victim experiences shock and trauma. Secrecy is maintained. This is the part of CSA that is
criminal sexual assault.

Phase 3: THE DISCOVERY PHASE

The Victim realizes the relationship with the Perpetrator is really sexual abuse, and may or may not find the courage to tell someone. The Victim may or may not seek counseling in this phase. The Victim may feel relief or other emotions as he/she finally understands.

Phase 4: THE TELLING PHASE

The Authorities (usually church leaders, e.g., elders, bishops) are informed of the abuse. The Authorities should seek to address the issue, and hold the Perpetrator accountable for his actions. Many churches/denominations have a procedure for handling CSA cases. If handled properly, there will be a stronger outcome for a more rapid recovery of the Victim, as well as the church community. If Authorities collude, healing for the church is obstructed. If the Victim is not believed, blamed, or no longer welcomed, the Victim will experience further shock and trauma.

Phase 5: THE RECOVERY PHASE

Part One, Recovery Phase:

The Victim will experience depression and will need professional help for what happened. As the Victim begins the process of healing, the Victim will need support from family, the church and the community.
The Victim is a “Survivor.”

Part Two, Recovery Phase:

The Survivor gets healing for the wounds, regains wholeness, and is able to “move on” after CSA. The Survivor becomes a “Thriver.”

Copyright © 2007 sharonsrose.org

An exerpt from an article posted in the Nashville Scene today

2008-02-14T10:56:00.001-05:00

Consider the rise and fall of one the denomination’s most promising stars.

“Paul had warned those Ephesian elders about an invasion of false teachers. He said, ‘Watch out now, because fierce wolves shall come, not sparing the flock.’ Well, those wolves had come. And deceptive teachers had slithered into the sheepfold.” These were the words of Darrell Gilyard, a young, handsome black pastor, as he stood before the Thomas Road Baptist Church—a mega-church founded by televangelist Jerry Falwell.

In 1989, the vision of this pastor with creamy cocoa skin, decked out in an immaculate steel-gray suit, streamed through the airways on the nationally syndicated broadcast of Falwell’s Old-Time Gospel Hour. As the cameraman cuts to the audience, grown men blink furiously as Gilyard’s voice rises and falls into a soft, gravely tone and moves them to tears.
The man had an undeniable star quality. Gilyard’s mentor, former SBC president Paige Patterson, dubbed him one of the “most brilliant men in the pulpit.” It was that natural charisma and talent that led SBC leaders like Patterson and Jerry Vines, another SBC president, to promote Gilyard.

But when Gilyard stood at the pulpit at Falwell’s church that day in 1989, he already had a dark history with parishioners. A 1991 Dallas Morning News story exposed many of the alleged indiscretions that marked Gilyard’s early career. According to the article, Gilyard had been forced out of a Dallas Baptist church in 1987 amid accusations of sexual impropriety. Yet Gilyard would still have a four-year run as pastor of Victory Baptist Church, another Dallas church.
The same news article included the accounts of several women who said Gilyard sexually abused them—in their homes, the church, even at the base of the pulpit—and they came to Patterson with the allegations. But they say Patterson refused to help them, at times refusing their phone calls or telling them that unless they had proof, he would not see them. Some women said he asked them to refrain from talking about the abuse. In press accounts at the time, Patterson said he was “dealing with a man of special gifts and talents” and that he was “unwilling to call anyone guilty until I had demonstrable evidence that these allegations were true.”
That “demonstrable evidence” wouldn’t come until 1991, when, as the Dallas news account detailed, Gilyard admitted to Patterson that he had committed adultery—even though many of the women’s allegations seemed much more akin to rape than consensual sex. It was then that Patterson finally cut ties with his protégé—but not before he personally prepared the goodbye speech for Gilyard to deliver to Victory Baptist.
Still, there were other congregations waiting for Gilyard.

Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Florida was once a flock without a shepherd—at least, that’s how they describe themselves. But that changed. “God sent a young man to preach for us...a young man from Dallas, Texas, of national prominence,” the church history reads as it describes Gilyard.
Little did they know that the man who would become their pastor in April 1993, a man who the congregation dubbed their “Moses,” had a trail of victims that snaked westward all the way back to Texas. The people packing the pews at Shiloh—a congregation that impressively grew to more than 7,000 members under 14 years of Gilyard’s leadership—must have fallen hard for him.
His tale of trial and tribulation, a touching story of redemption, was always a crowd pleaser: It was the struggle of a black orphan who grew up on the streets and even lived under a Florida bridge during his teen years. The story was so powerful, in fact, that Falwell peddled The Darrell Gilyard Story, a biographical video that chronicled Gilyard’s rise to fame after a hard-knock life, on his television show.

Too bad it was a lie. Gilyard’s tale of woe unraveled when a Florida woman came forward and said that she raised Gilyard from early childhood to adulthood. Despite reports that their pastor had lied about his past, Gilyard’s parishioners remained steadfast in their devotion.
Even after Gilyard was arrested on Jan. 14 after a woman told the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office that Gilyard sent obscene, sexually explicit text messages to her 14-year-old daughter, the Shiloh website still boasted, “God is doing great works through Pastor Gilyard.... So let us rejoice and thank God for sending us a ‘Moses’ to lead us to higher heights!” Gilyard resigned Jan. 4—10 days before his arrest—and pleaded not guilty to lewd and lascivious conduct.
The Patterson-Gilyard connection is hard for SNAP members to stomach. As is Gilyard’s connection with Vines, who mentored Gilyard as a young seminary student. When the two crossed paths again three or four years ago, Gilyard asked Vines for forgiveness for his past troubles. Vines not only forgave Gilyard, but SNAP says he also lent credibility to the man by preaching at Gilyard’s church.
“What’s unbelievable is that [Patterson and Vines] don’t see how morally reprehensible this is,” Brown says. “They’re blind to it—they’re blind to their own complicity in this horror. And to the contrary, I think they honestly believe that they are doing good and doing the right thing, which was probably true of Catholic bishops as well.”

In January, SNAP sent a letter to trustees at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, where Patterson now serves as president, asking them to temporarily remove Patterson from his position to investigate claims that he failed to warn churches that Gilyard was a serial predator. “I think you’ve got to wonder—this happened 17 years ago—why have there not been other Southern Baptist leaders and ministers to call Patterson out for this?” Brown says. “Why does it take a young mother there in Jacksonville, Fla., who finally speaks out about Gilyard [to expose him]? Why were there not other leaders in this huge denomination who called him on the carpet for this?”
Patterson has characterized SNAP’s claim as “misinformed and inaccurate.” He claims that he’s fought to bring more awareness to clergy sex abuse—what he calls one of the greatest tragedies of the modern era. “Throughout my 50 years in the ministry…I have never turned a blind-eye to clergy sex abuse...and in the classroom and in the pulpit I have steadfastly fought and will continue to warn and fight against it,” Patterson said in a press release following SNAP’s call for an investigation.
But it seems that Patterson never extended those “steadfast” warnings against sex abuse to the string of churches where Gilyard took the pulpit. And as much as Patterson had helped Gilyard, he certainly didn’t expend as much energy—if any—dimming Gilyard’s rising star.
In a press statement, Patterson now says he exercises “no control over autonomous churches anywhere” and that he has “no influence [on churches] not affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention.”

Religious leaders the Scene interviewed say that even if pastors don’t feel they have a professional obligation to warn churches of sex abuse allegations against a new pastor, as men of God and as human beings they have the moral obligation to protect people in the pews.
Burleson says denominational distinctions shouldn’t make any difference when it comes to protecting people from known sexual predators. “If [Gilyard] went to a Christian church, if he went to a Methodist church...we would inform that church regardless of the denomination.”
Burleson describes Gilyard’s decades-long run of abuse as a shameful indictment on the church and says that the ease with which predators are able to bounce from pulpit to pulpit is a big part of why he’s involved in lobbying the SBC for change. But he knows it won’t be easy.

You can read the artice in its entirety here:
http://www.nashvillescene.com/Stories/Cover_Story/2008/02/14/What_Would_Jesus_Say_/

God is Always At Work. Even When We Cannot See His Hand!

2008-02-11T12:28:00.001-05:00

A Beautiful story that helps us understand that things do happen for a reason. Please read the entire story, you will be amazed at the ending. God's hand is in everything, even when it takes years to see the results and even when the circumstances and waiting do not make sense.

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, he headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church. By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry.

The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and that it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria . When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again. The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving. The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike. He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between. The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride.

They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid and passed along to me by friends.

Who says God does not work in mysterious ways. His love is always with us, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares, He will see us through. So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best. Just remember God has a plan, even when we can't see His hand at work. When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.

A Plea From A Victims Mother

2008-02-08T08:22:00.000-05:00

Stunned Mom said...
Calling on all victims past and present of Darrell Gilyard. Please share your experiences with the States Attorney’s office. Your name will not be broadcasted, but they need your stories. Please think of future women and young teens and not just about yourself. I don’t want what happened with my daughter to happen to another female. Many people keep saying the adults knew and I agree they have some accountability, but if you’ve never been caught up in Darrell’s web, you don’t know how controlling he is. God help him please.

Darrell we forgive you as you have asked of us and required by God to do so, however we are praying that the Holy Spirit convicts you to repent and tell the truth to your lawyer and the authorities. Why waste all that money for someone to try to bury your wrong-doings?
February 8, 2008 6:27 AM

My Husband Shares His Heart

2008-02-06T23:25:00.000-05:00

I’ve poured out my heart over some of the things that have been said here against Tiffany, now I feel that it is time to speak out. I hope that she will see a way to add this as a “post” as opposed to a “comment”.

What I can say about her is:
She is incredible!
She is strong!
She is the one making a sacrifice to speak out!
She is the one reaching out to help others and encourage exposure!
She is one of the most truthful and respected women that I know personally!
She will confront the issue and not back down!

She has endured a lot in her walk through life and these experiences have molded her along with providing her with the strength to answer the calling that God has placed upon her. I’m not asking anyone to “trust” what I’m saying here but if you will be patient you will see things unfold in a way that I cannot fully explain here.

I will reiterate that this is an on going investigation including minors, thus meaning that there are aspects of the case that cannot be released for fear of causing damage. So stop making accusations, threats and asking for proof, you won’t receive that information here.
I don’t profess to be God, act as nor wish to be God.
I do believe in ONE chance not many chances! There have been too many.

Therefore, thus said several persons have felt the need to threaten her. Stop! Several persons have also attempted to push her into responses regarding her involvement with DG. She doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone here or any other place for that matter. So the comments that accuse her of being “involved” with DG are baseless and immature along with the innuendos that accompany the previous statement. This also goes for the comments directed at others that have posted here. They deserve better from those of you that post and comment on this blog.
Some have also stated time after time that God isn’t covering this or God isn’t proud of this or God isn’t blessing this or even that God wouldn’t be happy with Tiffany. I beg to Differ, do you actually believe that he is happy with DG? Is he happy with the “churches” of today? Is he happy with your thoughts and judgment of Tiffany? Be real with yourselves.

The part that bothers me is the lack of respect and consideration for others including bloggers, family members, survivors and victims. Thus meaning that this is a place for these people to come and heal, recover and share of the terrible incidences that they were involved. They deserve the opportunity to do this in a safe environment free of fear and intimidation from other bloggers. Wouldn’t you concede that they have ALL endured enough?

P.S.
DG hired “Hank” Coxe a well connected and respected Criminal Defense Attorney, for ONE reason and that reason is Freedom. He has done so in light of the overwhelming evidence against him. Even if DG has the opportunity to walk away I’m confident that his walk will be a short one.

Blessings to you all,

The Husband, Mr. Croft

PSS.

Tiff,
don't look back,
you've stepped over the line. (and they don't like it)
don't let up, back up, give up, or shut up.
I know your focus is clear,
your path straight,
your God is reliable.
You are a Disciple of Christ.

I have your back, you have my support.

Court News

2008-02-05T11:22:00.000-05:00

The outcome of today is that he and his attorney made a Not Guilty plea. He was not present in court, they entered the plea in the Judges chambers privately. The next court date is set for February 26th.

No Matter What the Outcome of Court...

2008-02-04T19:43:00.000-05:00

The arraignment is set for tomorrow at 9 a.m. I will be there along with others and will update the site as soon as I can. Hopefully he will be held accountable this time and will not be able to continue to damage peoples lives.

I truly do pray that he will get help and that he will someday repent of his sins. I do not believe that he could possibly be saved, so I also pray that he will make that decision. If not, he has truly wasted away his life and will have eternal consequences. Please understand, I am not judging him and I truly do not wish to see him (or anyone) spend an eternity seperated from God. Many of you believe he must be saved simply because he was a Pastor. The Bible is clear in Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of Heaven..." vs 22 "Many will say to me 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?" vs 23 "Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers." Before this, in vs. 15, He says "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly, they are ferocious wolves..."

I truly believe that this describes this man who has been preaching God's word all of these years, falsely telling us that He was in love with our Savior and covered under His blood. Unfortunately, he was also a wolf preying on the Savior's sheep!

We are all sinners saved by grace. We all sin, and are called by the Holy spirit to repentance. Only God and the Holy Spirit within him knows the thoughts of man, "but the man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are not spiritually discerned." In other words, Darrell is not convicted about his actions if He is not under the covering of the blood and under the submission of the Spirit.
Hebrews 4:12 says that the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. EVERYTHING is laid bare before the eyes of him who must give account."

vs. 15 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses..." I Corinthians says, that "No temptation has seized you but what is common to man. God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way of escape." We serve a compassionate God, full of mercy, slow to anger. He provides a way of escape, before the opportunity to sin prevents itself, and then He has open arms for repentance even if we fall. But, he warns us in I Corinthians 15:58 "Stand firm. Let nothing move you." yet the consequence, "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law." James 2:14 "each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is fullgrown, gives birth to death."

Finally, we know that prayers avail much, James 5:19 says, "Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his ways will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins."

I do not know if it is possible for this man to see the error of his ways, but we would be doing the right thing (along with seeking justice from the earthly laws) to pray for his salvation. "Godly sorrow leads to repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

To the victims, may there be closure in some earthly justice. And healing in the knowledge that he will (hopefully) not be able to offend again.

As for tomorrow's court date, no matter what happens:
Hallelujah, All glory to God.
Hallelujah, All honor to God.
No matter what, we will worship the Lord God and to Him only shall we serve!

To the victims, may there be closure in some earthly justice.

The First Signs of Trouble

2008-02-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

This is a letter received from a former Criswell College student who was there with Gilyard at the beginning of his "career".

I have been given permission to share her story, although all personal references to her have been edited. She has been brave and courageous in giving her personal testimony.

She has decided to do this after one of my friends encouraged her to do so. Along with responding to the questions below that were presented to her after her initial statement.

“I was a student at Criswell College with Darrell Gilyard. He was the most dynamic and gifted preacher I'd ever heard. As a student at Criswell, we were afforded sermons from the who's who in SBC churches. Vines was a regular guest. I don't care how many times you'd heard his (Darrell’s) life story of living under a bridge; it always brought you to tears. Darrell was put on a fast track and protected from the consequences of his actions. Therefore, the monster we know today was created. I'm just learning of just how many times he has betrayed God and his church.

The first was while Darrell was an assistant pastor at Concord in South Dallas. He accused the pastor of having affairs and other wrong doings when it was actually him who was the cad. As students, we only knew that Dr Patterson wanted us to know. We all banded around Darrell when Rev. Bailey stood against him. We all assumed and were led to believe by the CC (Criswell College) muckety muck, that the accusations were untrue and that it was just Rev. Bailey's jealousy of Darrell's abilities that had him speaking against Darrell. We had no idea that 25 women were accusing him. We thought it was basically just Rev. Bailey. I remember the problems and the tension between Concord and FBC/CC. (FBC in Texas) They "mended" fences and Rev. Bailey was invited to preach at the semi-weekly chapel. Most students boycotted Rev. Bailey's sermon.

I remember how proud we all were of Darrell's first appearance on Jerry Falwell's TV program. We had watch parties and taped it to be played many times bragging that "I know him!" Falwell put lots of money and time into the production of that first show. Why did people keep protecting him even after his adopted mother called in with the facts after that show aired? This could have saved untold women, and now children, from the abuses they have suffered.

Darrell then pastored a series of churches in Texas and Oklahoma. He didn't stay at any church for long. He and the school administration were able to keep the student body from finding out why. I had no idea that he tried to rape a female student. he tried to rape while in school. I think I have a good idea who it was because she dropped out of site, moved and left no forwarding address. Through all this, Jana stood beside him, supporting him. (Darrell is VERY convincing and most would never believe him capable of the things he's done.)

Then came Victory Baptist Church and his numerous affairs there. Bless Jana's heart. I do not blame her for divorcing Darrell. I was crushed to discover Darrell's true nature. After standing with him when we thought he had been wrongly accused, I felt as betrayed as Jana must have felt.
I do not understand why Page Patterson has protected and shielded Darrell for so many years. My guess is that Paige is living vicariously through Darrell since Dr. Patterson will NEVER be 1/10th the preacher Darrell is. Paige and the administration of FBC and CC created a man who never had to face the consequences of his actions because they protected him and swept his indiscretions under the rug. Within 2 weeks of his resigning in disgrace from Victory, Darrell was back in Florida at the pulpit of yet another unsuspecting congregation.

Thank you for putting the spot light on this issue and doing the work that is necessary to expose the charlatans in our denomination. May our Lord bless you!

Then my friend responded back to her:
Hi, you have a very interesting perspective, thank you for sharing it. Can we have your permission to post your email on one of the blogs for others to read? We would be happy to withhold your name if you like. So please let us know if we can use your letter to post on our blog... (Received permission as long as her name was not there)

A couple of follow up questions:

1. Is Rev Bailey still around? Do you know if he is still pastoring? What is his full name? Do you know how he might be contacted?

His name was E. K. Bailey, but in doing a quick Google search I've discovered that he is deceased. However, his family is still around and you can do a little research and find contact information at http://www.ekbailey.org/Index.cfm?FuseAction=Page&PageID=1000000 His wife and son are very involved in the ministry he started and I'm sure they would be willing to clear EK's name and reputation. DG tried to bring him down after he was found out and accused so I'm sure they will give you some first hand insight into the late 80's.

2. Before DG went to Concorde, were there allegations that you knew of at Criswell College against DG? Were there credible allegations made by women at Criswell against DG? Did PP defend DG against those allegations at the school?

Everything was very hush hush. I didn't know that there were 25 women accusing DG at Concord until I read http://stopbaptistpredators.blogspot.com/2007/12/two-sbc-presidents-knew-lot-but-what.html I'm thinking back and whoever the woman is that he tried to or did rape was effectively kept quiet.
I do remember one dropped out suddenly, moved and I've never heard from her since. She was a gorgeous petite woman who very well would have fought back. I was startled and hurt by her sudden departure. Back then, the student body was only a couple hundred students and we were a very close knit group.
The allegations made by Rev Bailey were chalked up to jealousy over DG's abilities. We were never told the extent of the accusations. We were only told that Darrell had discovered that Bailey was having affairs and the like and that the accusations made by Concord were an effort to ruin a man of God.
We all stood with Darrell against the evil Bailey, or so we were led to believe. PP (Patterson) was a master manipulator. He was full of his own self-importance as was his wife Dorothy. They came across as really insincere. I think wrapped up in their own self-importance would be a really good description. PP wasn't the evangelist and church grower that his father was, nor was he the orator that DG was. He was riding the coattails all the time.

This was also during the time the conservatives were trying to take back over the convention from the liberals. PP was a very absent president and it caused a lot of friction with the board and the faculty. He had the blessing of WA Criswell so he was safe at CC. The school created a new position for him and appointed a new president because the school was suffering from his lack of attention.

(Note: I deleted some info that pertains to her personally but her accounts are from the years 1984- 1988)

PP was somehow able to keep things very quiet. I don't know if any of the faculty from that era would be willing to talk. Maybe some of the ones who have left might be willing to talk.
(I deleted the list of people to try and contact for privacy reasons)

3. Some of the newspaper accounts back then quoted PP as hinting that those opposing DG were racially motivated. Was your recollection back then that PP was leading people at CC to believe that Bailey had other motives in discrediting DG? In what manner did PP lead the students to believe that DG was innocent and that Bailey was out to get him? Did PP ever come out and verbally defend DG?

I wouldn't doubt that PP would have attributed DG's "persecution" to race. PP led us to believe that EK was jealous of DG and that it wasn't so much race as it was just envy of DG's abilities. PP's support of DG was absolute and if anyone spoke against him, there were real consequences. Since EK was black and the majority of Concord was too, the race issue wasn't an issue, as I remember it. It was just that EK was used to being the "go to" black preacher in Dallas and DG was going to usurpt that position. We were told that the accusations were patently false and that DG was completely innocent of anything that EK accused

4. PP has recently defended himself by saying he did try to stop DG by getting him to resign from Victory Baptist after it was found that he had sex with women he was counseling. Is your belief that PP protected Gilyard based on PP's failure to stop DG sooner than this?

I don't know that PP has a conscious. After finding out the extent of DG's sexual misconduct over the last couple of days of research, PP was in the cover-up up to his red hair. DG was the rising star and PP's ticket to the big time. PP was power and fame hungry back in those days. He was making himself a name with Judge Pressler reclaiming the SBC for Christ. DG figured prominently in this, I'm sure. See what good conservative schools can turn out...great preachers like DG. Makes me wonder what other skeletons PP has hidden in his own closet. I've never trusted him because he seemed like such a fake person. This probably colors my perceptions, but then again my impressions may have been spot on.

(Deleted more personal info here but she knew DG personally)

DG was working in better men's wear at Dillard’s at that time (while in school).

I know that we stood up and vehemently defended DG against the big bad EK.

Keep me posted to new developments, please. As one who was personally misled, I feel very betrayed and want to see him punished for his sins and crimes. One warming thought is that child sexual predators are the scum of the earth in prison and they are not treated well at all by the other inmates. Prisoners have standards, too, and harming a child is the worst thing one can do and be locked up! ”

Watch the News Tonight

2008-01-31T10:02:00.000-05:00

For those of you that are local, be sure to watch the 11 o'clock news tonight on Channel 47. Dawn Lopez is doing another story on Gilyard. I will post the video on my site later when it becomes available.

Gilyard Still Making Plans!

2008-01-28T11:29:00.000-05:00

Darrell still believes he is invincible. He is still talking to people and making plans to move to Gwinnett county (Atlanta, Georgia) to "start a church there". He believes that they need a good Bible believing church there according to sources. While we wait to see if he is ever going to pay for his crimes against children, and immorality involving many women, he is making plans for his next church. He has done this every time he has been caught. He boldly makes plans for his next church as if no one can touch him. And at every church there have been victims, since the 1980's. And some people are still questioning whether or not he has a problem.
This time the legal system is involved, so he has hired one of the best criminal defense attorneys in the State of Florida to defend him. This attorney is known for getting criminals off on technicalities.
Watch out Gwinnett County!!
The hearing is coming up, we will see what our justice system has to say about his plans.

See no Evil, Speak no Evil, Hear no Evil? Or is it Denial?

2008-01-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

Many people feel that this is a private church matter that should not be talked about, and feel that speaking out is wrong. Some of you feel that it is really sinful and slanderous. Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion and needs to listen to their own convictions. I also struggled with this years ago when I found out Darrell Gilyard had moved back to Jacksonville to Pastor Shiloh. I was shocked that he had been allowed to simply move on right after he not only was caught, but also made admissions. Not to mention his long history of the same. I wanted to speak out, I wanted to warn the church, I wanted to confront him directly. I did not know if it was the right thing to do, if it would help, if anyone would listen, then the question of maybe he had gotten help (I doubted this, but there was a possibility). So, I kept quiet. I would think about it occasionally, see him on TV, someone mention his church, someone mention the past, or just a trigger memory of that horrible time. Then a couple of years ago, I heard that he had more victims that were remaining quiet or had been paid off to keep quiet. I heard he had been confronted along with the some of the Deacons and even that many people were notified of his behavior with women and girls. No one seemed interested in dealing with the problem, and this was current stuff, mine was "old news". Coming out publicly is very scary. You get attacked and few believe you, most accuse you of lying or being vindictive, and you have to relive it all again also. But, I also figured if all of these people have not listened all of these years and he was not kept from pastoring again with everything that happened, how is my one small voice going to change anything?
Well, it took one "small voice" of the current victim's to give me the courage and opportunity to speak and now many others are gaining the same strength little by little. One voice does make a difference! It is painful and hurtful, but it is worth it if it saves even a few from being hurt by him.
I would like to pass along some information that I was not even aware of until all of this happened. I did not know how huge this problem is until now. I never would have guessed that this is more of an epidemic than a rare problem. I am speaking of sick men being allowed to do horrible things to women/girls in their ministry while they are wearing the disguise of Pastor. Then after a victim gets the courage to stand up and tell someone in the church (or confront the perpetrator directly) and they are told "we will handle it" and they watch the Pastor leave the church and move on. No real accountability for him, wouldn't want to embarrass anyone or cause a "bad light" on the church, tell the victim to keep quiet, then offer no counsel or help to the victim. Next thing you know, Pastor is at another church and usually victimizes again. Ditto all over again, then another church and more victims, only given more power now because he has been allowed to get away before. Then when people finally rise up and say "when is it enough? Nothings being done, let's expose this and stop him" then people are outraged that you are speaking against a Pastor, you are the sinful one who is shaming God. The silence is the problem, it is what gives them power! We are not talking about a Pastor who has made a bad decision and has fallen in some way, we are talking about exposing repeat offenders.
Please look at the problem from a real world view as I have recently done. See the following links. See how you feel about silence after you really see the full spectrum of the problem. I personally do not feel God would tell us to turn our heads to this problem.
Survivor Stories:
http://stopbaptistpredators.org/survivor_stories.html
Actual Numbers:
http://stopbaptistpredators.org/alarmingnumbers.html
National News story:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17265721/
Request for Help:
http://www.ethicsdaily.com/article_detail.cfm?AID=9469

Where do we go from here?

2008-01-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

What amazes me at this point are the sheer number of lives damaged here. How many people have really been damaged by these sins? How many lives have been changed and families broken? How many people this trickles down and has a negative effect on.

I am saddened that some people struggle with this in a way that makes them question whether they will ever attend church again. I am also saddened by the thought of the lost world saying "look at those church people, that's why I don't have anything to do with church."

I feel it is better if we allow the sin to be dealt with and exposed rather than covering it up, especially to the lost world. It also sends a better message that it will not be tolerated in the church. It lets the victims know that they do not stand alone and shouldn't just "deal with it" as they watch the perpetrator walk away to another church. That almost tells the victim they are not important and that no one cares about their pain.

But we do care! That is what prompted me to write this particular post. How do we show the people destroyed by this that they matter? That they have cheerleaders wanting them to recover and do more than "learn to live with the pain." Not just talk about the problem, but do something to make it better somehow. How do we tell the lost readers that this should not keep them from seeking God? That this is about the corruptness of man and his choices to sin against God? That most churches would not cover this sin up, and most churches would not call a man to Pastor that had a blemish on his charachter?

I posted recently asking you to encourage the victims and only one person posted. I know many of you are praying for them. Let's take a moment to tell them that we care about them and their recovery? Tell them how brave they are and how sorry we are that they have suffered. Let's show Christ like love to them.

They need encouragement right now as they wait. Let's do something to show them we care and help them begin to heal. This post isn't about Gilyard or the church or the scandal, this is about love in action.

Please note any negative comments or attacks on the victims under this post will be deleted.

David vs. Goliath

2008-01-15T21:42:00.000-05:00

The Detectives and the State's Attorneys office are doing their jobs well. They are working tirelessly and have now made the arrest. The media is staying on top of the story and doing a great job of keeping the focus on Darrell and not on the church. Many feared it would become a slam on the church. The victims are being brave as they have told their stories. Prayer warriors are praying for justice, for repentance, for the healing of the victims and the families many involved. Many people have come forward sharing their knowledge of events that have been covered up these last years at Shiloh. Many people are not willing to remain silent anymore.
I am so thankful for all of you!!!! Thank you for standing up and deciding to put an end to this.

Many of you have shared your concerns about his attorney trying to get him a plea bargain and light sentence. Well, we can help with that. Please understand, although the arrest has been made, there is still a need for more of you to tell your stories. Not just victims, but stories that have bothered you (or sickened) regarding relationships that he was having or women he tried to seduce, even if it is something you knew happened and weren't a part of directly. It is time to expose it. The fear is that you may have to testify - remember, he may plea out and never face the court. This is even more likely if there are tons of accounts, he won't want all of it to come out. This will also give the investigators more to go on. Even one story is important, and then they all begin to come together.

If you have any information, you can call the State's Attorneys' office 630-2490 ask for Julie Sachs voicemail and leave the information there, or you can email me at thefamilycircus5@comcast.net and I will forward the email to the SA.

Thank you for your help and to those of you who have already shared so much!

Arrest Made!!!!

2008-01-14T18:56:00.000-05:00

Many people have talked this afternoon of an arrest of Gilyard today. I have confirmed per First Coast News (Channel 12), Fox News 30 and News 4 Jax (Channel 4) at this time that Darrell was arrested today. His attorney asked if he could bring him in, and he did. This is why you will hear that he turned himself in. The charge is lewd and lascivious against a minor. He has already been released on $5000 bond.
Now, I am sure this is just the beginning and it will be enough to keep him in Jax. until they form the rest of the case and more charges. So keep watching.
Also, I have been told to watch Channel 12 news tonight at 11 p.m. for an interview with Paige Patterson and more on this arrest. Watch this interview with an open mind and heart. I have communicated with him and he has shed some new light on all of this. You and I may have a new perspective as this all comes to light.
It's all coming together, keep praying.

Encourage the Victims Here

2008-01-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

There are many brave people involved here and I am so proud of them all. There are many things that may never be made public, but please know that the current victims are courageous and strong and that they love the Lord and seek His blessing, and accountability, not vengeance. Please send comments of encouragement to them on this site. That would mean so much to them through this process and will help to give them strength and courage for each day ahead.

So, during this time of waiting, please use it to encourage the victims. Pray for them and for the investigators, for the families involved and for the others involved that are coming forward with past information, and pray for those who are struggling with this disappointment with feeling let down. Please keep your eyes focused on God and don't let man ruin your faith. Thank you for your time.

Paige Patterson and Dr. Vines

2008-01-12T01:31:00.000-05:00

I am going to shock many of you with what I am about to say. But I feel it is the right thing to do. When this is over, I want to walk away from this knowing I did everything the Lord prompted me to do. And that I, in love, not only confronted the sin, but also defended when appropriate. We are not supposed to cast judgement without all of the facts. With DG, there are more than enough facts and allegations (a 20 year background), and biblically I Tim. 5:19-20 says, "Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning." This is talking about elders sin."
Now, my point. There are many things being said about Paige Patterson and Dr. Vines. I have my own personal feelings about what did and did not happen in the past, and even now. However, to blast them on this or any other site only based on what we are being told by the media and the past allegations of cover up, would be wrong. I Tim. 6:11-12,20-21 says, "...pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge...Grace be with you." What we feel was cover up, and what we are reading (I am guilty of this too) is in effect godless chatter and false knowledge. We really don't know what either man said or did outside of what is being reported to us. I know that I wish they had done more at that time and even now (making a statement admitting mistakes) but, we have to remember they may be wishing they had done more, they have to live with that knowledge every day. And no matter what they say publicly right now it can be misconstrued and taken out of context. I do fully believe they were in over their heads with DG back then, and I truly believe they did not know how to properly handle it. They made mistakes, but don't we all? Every day.
I am not defending them fully, but I have had a heart check and as I pray for the purifying of my heart and the correct motives, I must speak this truth out loud especially with so many of you reading and responding. I do not want to be responsible for passing judgement on these men. We know who the real criminal is here.
I do not believe either of these men condoned the behavior of DG, nor did they feel what he did was o.k. If they did, there would have never been an inquiry in 1991 - and I know personally they pursued all of the allegations that were brought to them in June 1991. I can't answer for any of the other times. I know Dr. Vines was sick over it and shocked. I met and talked with him during that time. I am sure they have regrets. If there were allegations overlooked and dismissed by Patterson, he and the victims and the Lord know it.
Do we really know that they did not warn the churches? No we do not. Do we know why Dr. Vines later spoke in DG's church? No, we can only speculate. Do we know why they have chosen not to apologize publicly for making some of these mistakes? No, although we are waiting and it would make us feel better. Should DG have ever had the ability to speak in a pulpit again? Absolutely not, and both of these men told him this to his face, and Paige Patterson stripped him of his seminary license to preach (whatever it is titled) he went on to preach without the license of a Pastor. And the last time DG contacted Patterson (one year ago), he again told him he washed his hands of him and because of his past and his divorce, he biblically was not worthy of Pastoring and he would not talk to him again. And Dr. Vines did not speak with him or associate with him for a number of years until DG came to him and lied saying he had completed treatment for sexual addiction and asked for his forgiveness, Dr. Vines extended him forgiveness but also told him he still should not preach. I know he later spoke in his church, he knows this was a poor choice. But we do not know the full story.
To crucify these two men over the sins and problems of DG would serve no purpose. To challenge these men to stand up now and humbly admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness is, I believe, totally appropriate, especially as they are leaders and called to a high standard. And what I would like to see is for them to now step up and help put an end to this problem within the church.
They cannot stop sin, but we need a system where sexual predators go on the books (especially after more than one allegation) some kind of record accessible by all churches to check before hiring Pastors or other staff. It is not enough to do criminal background checks because many times victims do no more than confront the church, so there is no public record. We need a system available to churches nationwide that prevents this. I know several people have asked for this for years (primarily I know Christa Brown has made this her mission) isn't it time now to make this happen. Such a simple thing really. Who better than two prominent voices like Paige Patterson and Dr. Vines? I am told there is a record within the SBC but it is private and only used by them. That does not help the churches! We cannot stop all of the predators, but what if it were a substantial number? DG would have never made it to Victory or Shiloh or FBC for that matter if this had been in place tears ago. Think of all of the victims who would have been saved - at least 50. That is a shame. That is the REAL issue here. Let's stop this abuse. Let God hold them accountable for their sins, but let's not partake in it by turning our heads. And let's not further the sin by tearing each other apart. I am preaching at myself here to. Christ loved the sinner but hated the sin. Let's focus on the sin and put the devil on the defense He wants this sin to destroy God's house and the families within. Let's make a strong circle in the name of Jesus and make the devil flee. He can only have the power over us that we allow, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." DG was an impostor among us, he was falsely shepherding for his own gain. We need real men of God shepherding. Let's all allow God to make some good out of this, shall we? Who is with me on this? I think it is time for God to be glorified by us all doing the right thing. Thank you for your time as I rambled on, I cannot believe the time - I have chosen every word carefully and had to wait until the house was quiet to think clearly.

Don't Be Afraid Anymore

2008-01-10T15:08:00.000-05:00

I know of several people who have been courageous with their stories and are a little intimidated about the thought of speaking out in front of the State Attorney and a court room. I know you feel a little scared at the thought of facing Darrell Gilyard again and others who may be there. I know you are worried about your name and your story being known. It is one thing to tell case workers or detectives in one quiet meeting or even telling me in a personal email or phone call. It is much bigger to tell it publicly in a court. I know their are those of you who feel you and your family will be embarrassed and I understand, fully, what you mean. It is difficult to expose the truth when it is this ugly. It is embarrassing, you do at times feel it would be easier to remain silent and just let it go away. But the thing is, it never goes away, not completely. You (I hope) will learn to forgive, but only God is capable of forgetting. It will creep up when you least expect it and it does show up in your life in different ways. Even if you do not allow it to become a focus, it is there.
What I am trying to say is, it is much better to face it, to purge it, to boldly confront it than to try to bury it or remain in bondage by the fear of coming out. You will not be embarrassed unless you allow yourself to be. You were not looking for this, you did not welcome the predator. No matter what you may have even consented to happen, you were still victimized by a respected figure you were supposed to trust. That is a violation and the only one who should carry shame is him. Shame is also a form of bondage and the devil can use that to keep you from all that God has planned for you - and trust me dear friend, He still has BIG plans. You may be able to help someone else down the road that you would otherwise have been unable to help, but with a shared story, there is much compassion and healing. I know from experience. I (after my 1991 incident) went on the following year to work at a Children's Home for troubled and abused children. I had the time of my life there helping others deal with their trauma and healing from physical and sexual abuse from people that they respected and loved. They had the choice to let it negatively affect their lives (some did) or to stand up, and work through it and forgive and to allow God to "work it all for good" because He loves us so. You may think "Why did God allow this?" well, there is this thing called free will, he allows us to sin and make our own choices (your predator made his choice to violate God's and man's law) unfortunately, you were the victim. But God's arms are WIDE open my friend, ready to heal, ready to make Beauty from the ashes. But it is all up to you ,there's that free will thing again : } you have to allow Him to be your strength, you have to welcome Him in to heal and direct you. And you have to expose the truth. You cannot fully heal unless you do, trust me. I have healed all over again during these last few weeks, it does not get any better than allowing God to take something that man meant for harm and let Him (the Great Healer) make it for good.
Please, be courageous (you already are a survivor) don't be silent or afraid, please don't allow your silence to cover his sin. To many people have already, and now there are more victims, I have to live with that also. But, I have seen His hand moving here and I have (with many others) covered this in prayer and I believe He is exposing it all at this time because it is time. I believe God is walking with us right now more than ever. I've seen so much happen this week that you cannot deny His hand at work! So, you pray about it and I know He will walk with you all the way through the process, all the way through what you are now fearing. He will give you strength. He never gives us more than we can bear, he must know you are really strong. Come and join us, let's glorify the Father and put and end to this deceiver. I am proud of you and many others are proud of you as well. The majority of the emails I receive are encouragement and love. It's not as bad as you think. Those that come against you or talk negatively, they are not friends, and they would turn on anyone. Be true to yourself, make your family and friends proud by showing what strength lays underneath those wounds. Then let the Lord be glorified by healing those wounds and using it for good. He is who we serve, not man, not evil.
I love you my fellow victims and warriors!! I know you can do it! I believe in you and I will stand with you. When this is all over, and we are allowed to communicate, we can have a survivors celebration dinner together - how does that sound?

Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church

2008-01-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

To all of you from Shiloh:
I see so many blogs from members there who are hurting.
I want you to know that I feel you have been victimized to. You are supposed to love and respect your Pastor and learn from Him. Of course you feel sad and angry and defensive and many mixed feelings. There were people who knew about Gilyards past and allowed him to come there and shepherd you anyway, but, not everyone knew of his past. Now, you need to pray for healing for your hearts and souls (as many of us are for you) as you will have to heal as well. There are MANY VICTIMS here, not just those he harassed, but those of you who loved him as your Pastor. He is a phenomenal speaker of the Word and God's word does not return back void. So even in the midst of sin, God's word was still speaking to His sheep. I pray that you will not allow your hearts to become bitter and that you will not let this turn you away from the church. Let God heal you (He is who we look to, not to man) and let Him turn these ashes into Beauty!!!!Bless you!

Gilyard Resigns!!!!!

2008-01-07T17:34:00.000-05:00

Updated interviews late tonight and all day tomorrow, I will add the links as soon as they become available.
Jacksonville News Stations CBS47, First Coast News, Fox 30 and News 4 Jax confirm the resignation of Gilyard.
See his Resignation Letter here. So where's he headed too next? Looks like Atlanta.

Upcoming News Tonight

2008-01-07T14:14:00.000-05:00

I just received word that there will be new reports on CBS 47 News and First Coast News tonight. So please be watching. You will be shocked at what the news will be, it is worth watching. (1/7/08 Monday)

Will you stand with me?

2008-01-05T20:20:00.001-05:00

If any of you are afraid of being known, it can be anonymous. You can contact me privately at my personal e-mail. thefamilycircus8@gmail.com You can also call the sex crimes hotline and remain anonymous (the detective said they will only take your personal info. if you are willing and no one will come to your home, etc.)
(904) 630-2168
JSOSexcrimes@jaxsheriff.org
You can call with just tips or leads - if that is all you have, it is still worthwhile.
I know it can be intimidating, there is no need to expose you as a victim, we just need your testimony. No one outside the investigative team has to know.
Thank you.

sins of a pastor

2008-01-04T19:27:00.003-05:00

This blog is about the sexual improprieties involving Pastor Darrell Gilyard of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist church in Jacksonville, Florida and his long history of the same problems in other churches since atleast 1991.

What I am about to write about is not vengeance, it is not from a spirit of hatred or judgement. I truly wish this person had gotten help and would stop his behaviors. But the truth is, he has not. He is a predator and he misuses his standing as a pastor. I have hoped for the last 17 years that he had changed and repented. But, sadly, he has not. Because of this there are more victims, and probably more to come.

We can only stop him if we all stand up together and say, "It is enough."

Most of the time when these things come to light, people sit at home thinking, why hasn't someone done something? Well, I am. It is past time.

I have a personal testimony of this man preying on me as an 18 year old. I left the matter in the churches hands as did all of the other girls and women who came forward at that time. We truly thought he would never preach again based on all of the sexual improrieties against him. He targets and preys on women and young girls - especially those who may be slightly vulnerable and seeking counsel from him. He uses this time to find there weaknesses and to make them feel as if they can trust him (as their Pastor) then he begins to come on to them and has been repeatedly accused of rape. Some women and girls have "consented" to a physical relationship. But, in his position this is in no way alright! No matter what he convinced them, they are still VICTIMS! He had asked me to come to Texas to be on staff at his church, he used this to get closer to me. I trusted and looked up to him as a Spiritual Leader. I was blessed to get away from him the night he tried to get me to go to his hotel room. I literally ran away from him. He ran after me and was not apologetic or remorseful when confronted later.

I know there are more women and girls (other than the two girls who have bravely recently come forward) who have been victimized by him. Even if you feel it was only innappropriate conversation, messages, letters, e mails, text messages, he has done all of these things. Some of these things happened with me in 1991.

IT IS WRONG NO MATTER WHAT! HE IS IN A LEADERSHIP POSITION AND IT IS TIME SOMEONE SPEAK OUT AND STOP HIM.

Church leaders: Isn't it time to say you no longer qualify for a ministry position?

Step up to the plate. You as Pastors will have to answer to the Lord for not protecting the innocent. He will face enough judgement from the Lord when his time comes, but what about the girls and women he damages in the process.

One brave soul, Pastor George Harvey Jr. stepped up to the plate to try to warn the church - they overlooked his information. They should be held accountable. But one voice is not enough, we need more Godly men to step up and say, you have had your chance to repent and change - no more.
Will you join us in standing up for ourselves and making him stop? Please do not be intimidated. We will all stand together and support each other and in numbers, he cannot make this go away again. In 1991 there were not enough willing to stand up and testify, although there were many with stories, it never left the Pastors Committee investigating and some went to the media.

This time they need BRAVE women to step up. All we need is your testimony. You may even be able to remain anonymous. We just need to know how many more are afraid to tell.
17 years have gone by, for me, in which I knew he was still victimizing and there was nothing I could do. Please don't find yourself sitting back and watching it happen to someone else and live with the guilt of not stepping up with us.

He has been forced to leave 4 different churches due to sexual improprities, several of which he admitted to, and he is now Pastoring a mega church. There are two minor aged girls who have just come forward. I decided it was time to rise up with them. Will you answer the call?

I have prayed for guidance and wisdom. I truly pray he will get real help and repent. If he had already done that, I would not be doing this. But, I can not sit back and let it happen again and again. He has taken a PAID leave of absence from the church while it is being investigated. If this was the first allegation against him, that would be one thing. But it is at every church he pastors dating all the way back to 1987 and even many churches he has just been a guest speaker in the past. That is some coincidence. He is a phenominal Preacher, many souls have been saved due to his messages, but the sins going on behind that facade are the issue.

I feel for his family, his current wife, his two children. But, they have been through this with him many times before. He has victimized his family also by putting them through this. But, I believe he is ill. I believe that God can help him, but he has to be repentant first.

WILL YOU STEP UP TO THE PLATE?????

Please Pray about it!

Tiffany